Saturday, December 24, 2016

964 - Dear Santa



Dear Santa,

I know you’ve come through so oft’ before
But the time has come to ask for more.
So, let me be firm and let me be clear
World peace tops my list this year.
And the climate seems to be a mess,
Perhaps you could teach us to use less.
Remove animals out of cosmetics
And take religion out of politics.
And why not knock off the odd disease
And remove the pirates from the seas.
And stop folk cutting down our trees
And improve the quality of what's on our TVs.
And rid the streets of hoons and louts
And ban the sale of Brussels Sprouts.
But if all this is just a wish too far
I’ll happily settle for a good Pinot Noir.
Now reader, visit the comments section
To nominate your gift selection.

.
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© J Cosmo Newbery 2016
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49 comments:

  1. I am thinking of the money I’ll save’ll
    If I get given a ruby, for my navel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A ruby may be more than Santa can do
      I have belly-button fluff. But it’s blue.

      Delete
  2. Oh, forget about your wishes plonky
    I want to be hung, just like my donkey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Little man, you bring on my mirth
      Why not ask to be taller than your girth?

      Delete
    2. Oh master, you malign me greatly;
      Have you looked in your bathroom mirror lately?

      Delete
  3. A spanking machine, I want, I think,
    To turn my flaccid bum from white to pink.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Forgive me, I never dreamt of it paley
      And always thought your bum was rough and scaley.

      Delete
  4. Steel dumplings blue surgical frames
    Christmas boil girders and inflames.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mechanical monster of poor invocation,
      Randomly generate a new location!

      Delete
  5. The Christmas gift to make me swoon
    Would be the light of a nice full moon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Creature of the night, dark and hairy,
      You wouldn’t, or so I’ve heard, harm a canary.

      Delete
    2. Feather I find catch my throat,
      I tend to favour the fatted goat.

      Delete
  6. My first thoughts were for a field of grass
    But now I keep thinking of Spanky’s arse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miss Moo, you really should avert your gaze,
      Like your udders, she swings both ways.

      Delete
  7. My wish is for a happy and peaceful time
    Where cuddles abound and couplets rhyme.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You dreamer, you have no idea;
      The world revolves from selling scary things.

      Delete
    2. Well maybe world peace and happiness is a far cry
      But I can tackle it in an individual basis, can't I?

      Delete
  8. I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas, Lee...take care. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lee, for your most kind wishes;
      Love to visit your for dinner but worry about the dishes.

      Delete
  9. Love your selection (and echo them). My mother told me I couldn't be a vegetarian because I don't eat brussel sprouts. She was wrong.
    I am hanging out for Boxing Day. The fuss is over, I can point hungry people to the fridge, and with luck I will have a new book.
    I will leave you your Pinot Noir, and raise a glass of merlot. Or two.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, I must admit to the occasional glass of merlot—
      There are more words that rhyme with noir, though.

      Delete
  10. What's wrong with brussel sprouts? :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No amount of cheap debatin'
      Will endear me to those balls of Satan!

      Delete
  11. Oh, Santa I don't mean to tease
    Some mmm mmm and mmm mmm please

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Martin, my little visiting poet,
      Your are a tease and you well know it.

      Delete
  12. The pilot nor, definitely, to ease all the problems listed, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pinot Noir will surely dull the paIn
      And then apply the cure again. And again.

      Delete
  13. I could go for some chocolate!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You must treasure Santa's gift to all mankind:
      Christmas chocolate has no colories of any kind.

      Delete
  14. I heartily agree - apart from the brussels sprouts - I eat them only once a year...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They look rather pretty, a green and clustered crew,
      But rather than eat them, surely a photo would do?

      Delete
  15. I wish for booze to make me numb
    'cause world is crazy dull and dumb.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bring on the wine, your thought has great merit.
      With the chaos that is looming, it's the only way to bear it.

      Delete
  16. If you get me free Brussels Sprouts, I will owe you, big time. I love those juicy little balls of heaven.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your message seems to be rather mixed,
      But either way, I know it can be fixed.

      Delete
  17. Remove animals out of cosmetics
    And take religion out of politics

    Two of the worrying situations that impact on the world.

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hank, my lad, I certainly can agree with you,
      If only the issues were limited to just two.

      Delete
  18. I will eat your brussels sprouts
    Giving you less reason to pout.

    :) Happiness to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marian, my love, you have come to rescue me!
      I'l dispatch them by express post, probably COD.

      Delete
  19. But if all this is just a wish too far
    I’ll happily settle for a good Pinot Noir.

    Sometimes it's the little things that help us through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A wine is a cure-all when the world is going rather mad,
      Add some cheese to nibble on and things never look so bad.

      Delete
  20. "...ban the sale of Brussels Sprouts" and cabbage. Yes, Cabbage need to go, too.

    Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's in the way you cook them, as sautéd cabbage can attest.
      For Brussels Sprouts though, Incineration is the best.

      Delete
  21. There's a limit to what Santa can do
    just settle for a bottle....or two!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had such hopes for the fat guy's mystic powers,
      But, second best, a wine to while awayt he hours.

      Delete
  22. "Remove animals out of cosmetics
    And take religion out of politics."

    like you the above and hey! my roof's in need of repairs, got some leaks

    much love...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christmas at best is rather numbing
      Without me having to fix the plumbing.

      Delete
  23. Please convert to peace all terrorists
    And turn the rich into philanthropists.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure, Christmas is the time for a wish or two
      But there are some things even Santa can't do.

      Delete

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