tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post3083276957938377089..comments2024-03-29T07:13:00.641+11:00Comments on Notes on a Serviette: CDLXXX - The PartingJ Cosmo Newberyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04459976320205444628noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-77474225331521791142013-03-18T11:22:11.971+11:002013-03-18T11:22:11.971+11:00Simple yet profound. Short yet stays in mind for l...Simple yet profound. Short yet stays in mind for long!Harshad Mehtahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10747054432059631577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-33005278432817842212013-03-17T07:38:00.155+11:002013-03-17T07:38:00.155+11:00No! It's not okay! Stay!No! It's not okay! Stay!Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15835982875620956300noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-16303349258297977632013-03-16T18:33:51.482+11:002013-03-16T18:33:51.482+11:00Now I'm lost.Now I'm lost. J Cosmo Newberyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04459976320205444628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-64258830025756971062013-03-16T18:17:41.602+11:002013-03-16T18:17:41.602+11:00Che?Che?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14088023144163691307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-66941024735194130392013-03-16T16:43:44.772+11:002013-03-16T16:43:44.772+11:00I like that - 'Today' would work as the la...I like that - 'Today' would work as the last line.J Cosmo Newberyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04459976320205444628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-27898771853808824132013-03-16T16:41:12.016+11:002013-03-16T16:41:12.016+11:00Well, it's pronounced 'al-ay'
and mea...Well, it's pronounced 'al-ay' <br />and means 'go', en Français,<br />And so it has a pla---ce,<br />In a multiplingual way.J Cosmo Newberyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04459976320205444628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-1305789675802825052013-03-16T15:55:37.882+11:002013-03-16T15:55:37.882+11:00Che?Che?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14088023144163691307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-90574561780301652852013-03-16T14:50:12.670+11:002013-03-16T14:50:12.670+11:00Perhaps replace okay with a repeated today? I rea...Perhaps replace okay with a repeated today? I really like the rhyme, it seems to add a (deceptive) simplicity to a complex form and idea.Elephant's Childhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06650565833097914052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-71326464794407848912013-03-16T14:33:56.689+11:002013-03-16T14:33:56.689+11:00Oh, yeah, I've had days like that!Oh, yeah, I've had days like that!<br />TALONhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03205633556998220372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-54190193695776769112013-03-16T12:16:12.289+11:002013-03-16T12:16:12.289+11:00Allez!Allez!J Cosmo Newberyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04459976320205444628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-36661051118808760352013-03-16T12:10:36.835+11:002013-03-16T12:10:36.835+11:00Deceptively simple, hangs together very well and s...Deceptively simple, hangs together very well and speaks volumes. Not sure about the okay either but can't suggest anything better. And works to make this read as an internal dialogue. Brings an element of doubt and challenge in.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14088023144163691307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-77994013985184156932013-03-16T07:57:40.759+11:002013-03-16T07:57:40.759+11:00Humorous -- almost like a limerick. The rhyme lig...Humorous -- almost like a limerick. The rhyme lightens it tremendously. Nicely done.Sabio Lantzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12963476276106907984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-68200386469362375852013-03-16T07:44:28.965+11:002013-03-16T07:44:28.965+11:00A shield of distance... yes, sometimes that is wha...A shield of distance... yes, sometimes that is what is needed.Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00007201357693227614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-50976669847238791132013-03-16T07:43:00.476+11:002013-03-16T07:43:00.476+11:00The okay at the end sounded like there was a hope ...The okay at the end sounded like there was a hope that there would be encouragement to stay...looking for a sign not to go.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09589253190731511955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-30519697979130860852013-03-16T04:09:07.342+11:002013-03-16T04:09:07.342+11:00I am very impressed that you rhymed your cinquain....I am very impressed that you rhymed your cinquain. Glad your poem has you leaving something negative. I love your beautiful blog. It makes you feel so peaceful and warm.Linda Rogershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10387405429395292887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-52304642240062286032013-03-16T03:38:17.624+11:002013-03-16T03:38:17.624+11:00This is a keeper....I think a polite choice made ;...This is a keeper....I think a polite choice made ;)Kathy Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12326495504453579091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-83639002788790777222013-03-16T01:48:52.110+11:002013-03-16T01:48:52.110+11:00The rules do not require rhyme - but they don'...The rules do not require rhyme - but they don't exclude it either. Rhyme is a standard tool in the poet's armoury, and you've used it to good effect in this delightful cinquain.<br /><br />Thanks for taking part at dVerse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-20556541942633692792013-03-16T01:20:49.482+11:002013-03-16T01:20:49.482+11:00' Adieu, she cried and waved her lily hand!...' Adieu, she cried and waved her lily hand!'rallentandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06980559347805844568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-10972036541467665462013-03-16T00:14:52.290+11:002013-03-16T00:14:52.290+11:00There are no rules on rhyming but love what you di...There are no rules on rhyming but love what you did with the form ~ Scarlethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03330793338813508704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-41572491739141876652013-03-15T23:58:11.622+11:002013-03-15T23:58:11.622+11:00someone was able to put a little rhyme into the ch...someone was able to put a little rhyme into the challenge Wolfsrosebudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17295258422523621134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-41062517392838201022013-03-15T23:50:03.746+11:002013-03-15T23:50:03.746+11:00Yes! Go away from dismay and embrace joy. I love t...Yes! Go away from dismay and embrace joy. I love this... pic, too.Laurie Kolphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07494759781947881343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-39248741486793285222013-03-15T23:38:39.611+11:002013-03-15T23:38:39.611+11:00I like the way you worked rhyme into this form. A ...I like the way you worked rhyme into this form. A very enjoyable read! Marbles in My Pockethttp://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2013/03/14/frank-ly/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-74389007565522201212013-03-15T23:14:29.515+11:002013-03-15T23:14:29.515+11:00sometimes it is for the best to just go away....it...sometimes it is for the best to just go away....its not an easy decision so the doubt in this rings true...i rather like the rhyme....Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-88410621640861199202013-03-15T23:01:42.332+11:002013-03-15T23:01:42.332+11:00I'm undecided as to whether the late line, Oka...I'm undecided as to whether the late line, Okay?, should be replaced with something that breaks the rhyming pattern.J Cosmo Newberyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04459976320205444628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30233877.post-42856366168808133212013-03-15T22:25:08.549+11:002013-03-15T22:25:08.549+11:00Rhyme in a cinquain is a little bit unorthodox but...Rhyme in a cinquain is a little bit unorthodox but I still enjoyed it... :-)brudberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12563403553536472377noreply@blogger.com