Sunday, July 05, 2015

800 - Prickly Reflections

Haiku Horizons has the prompt ‘thorn’.

We all have some thorns.
We all have flowers and fruits.
Harvest carefully.


Rose may have thorns.
If you change your perspective—
Thorns may have roses.


Thorns are not too bad
If they offer protection.
Brer Rabbit agrees.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

Thursday, July 02, 2015

797-799 - Whores Day Trilogy, 2015.

Whores Day, July 2nd.
Whimsical reflections.  
There’s nothing to be sombre about.

Three Word Wednesday requires participants
to use the three words of the week in a composition.
The words this week were: obedient, somber (sic), and raspy.

797 – Pasta Puttanesca
“Harlot’s Spaghetti”

Some sauces require expertise
But puttanesca is really a breeze.
It’s easy to see 
The whore’s pedigree:
Easy to make and so quick to please.


798 – Sexual Dragons
Curiously today’s Word of the Day 
at was “Dragoman”.  
But, no, I wont translate.

Do other animals also have whores,
Females who run sweaty stores?
And how do they arrange
Their rates of exchange?
Something that Google ignores.

What of the raspy dragons we find
In books of the mythical kind?
When dragons are scarce
Can whores flog their wares
Or are the he-dragons not so inclined?

And the question that continues to vex
Is can a dragon really have sex?
Do they have genitalia?
Is there a gender femalia?
The books are coy in these respects.

It’s hard to imagine
As the beasts are not slim;
Sex needs planning,
Not an action of whim.
And at the climatic high
Does the she-dragon cry:
“Oh,  Brothers Grimm! Brothers Grimm! Brothers Grimm!”

And can dragons be experimental?
Are they rough or sometimes even gentle?
Though a blowjob could earn
A third degree burn
In a nether region that’s quite sentimental.


799 – The Lady in the Red Coat.

A scarlet woman
Was the term once used
For a woman who,
Shall we say,
Was often used.

Dressed in red
Often with leather boots
They stood to the side
Both in view
And in the shadows.

“The Redcoat are coming”
Paul Revere got it quite wrong.
(Or so I’ve heard.)
They seldom do.
Just their clients, it’s said.
But that’s what they paid for.

The oldest profession
According to who?
Or to whom.
Purity in language
If nothing else.

They have been around,
In both senses,
For quite some time.
More compliant
Than obedient.
Money for jam.
A receptacle
Of convenience.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

Sunday, June 28, 2015

796 - Tears

Haiku Horizons has the prompt “Tear”.

A quick decision.
Spontaneous.  Regretted.
We shed salty tears.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

795 - Jerk

Mad Kane has a weekly limerick challenge.
She provides the rhyme word, this week it is “jerk”.
The rest is up to us.

She had a few drinks after work
And then slept in the arms of a clerk.
She then dreamed of a life
As a happy young wife
But, alas, woke up with a jerk.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015
Apologies to those who pronounce 'clerk', 'clark'.
Call it poetic license.
You could replace 'clerk with 'berk' but it weakens the jerk ending.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

794 - That man Todd

Three Word Wednesday requires participants
to use the three words of the week in a composition.
The words this week were: nervous, puzzled, and lump.

That man Todd.

The nervous will oft close their eyes
As the barber deftly applies
The edge of the blade
To the lather he’s made
And to move is considered unwise.

But one barber with a habit most odd
Would dispatch all his clients to God.
He would then disguise
Their bodies in pies
Which puzzled the homicide squad.

To his credit, the cops all confessed
That his pies were considered the best.
What brought them up trumps
Was the absence of lumps
And a sauce that always impressed.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

793 - Daintree

A potted haiku summary of a brief but very pleasant 
visit to the Daintree region of northern Queensland.


Wheels leave the tarmac,
The plane defies gravity
As we hold our breath.

The louvered windows
Of the tropical villa—
Quaint yet comforting.

It smells different
When rain falls in the forest:
Earthy.  Primal. Close.

An electric blue.
The brief but colourful life 
Of a butterfly. (1)

A walk on the beach
Followed by a lazy beer—
Could get used to this.

Let go of your home:
When in Rome (or Daintree)
Drink the local beer.

Warm cuddles in bed,
No need for any nightwear,
A gecko tut-tuts. (2)

The morning chorus:
The birds, the rain, the children.
I go back to sleep. (3)

Ancient wilderness:
Diversity worth a look…
What’s a little rain? (4)

The boat glides along.
On the bank, a crocodile
Pays close attention.

The cassowary:
A large lumpy sort of bird
That hides in the wild.

Cassowary plum
Betray the odd bird’s passing:
Fowl bowel graffiti. (5)

Unusual sounds
Of the unseen bush dwellers,
Oddly comforting.

Cape Tribulation.
The place an early Cook’s tour
Came stuck.  And unstuck. (6)

Holiday chaos—
That fateful, distant message:
“Gone into labour”. 

Technology beats
The tyranny of distance:
The coming of Grace. (7)

Good travel advice:
Take nothing but photographs,
Leave only footprints.

Dinner in the trees—
The jungle meets fine dining,
Daintree à la carte. (8)

The final packing.
I wonder what will be left?
There’s always something.

Familiar smells 
Welcome us back to our home.
The kettle goes on.

I know I am home
When I can kick off my shoes,
Order a pizza.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

1. Ulysses Butterfly
2. Geckos, a type of lizard, makes an odd clicking noise at night.
3. Neighbours had a crying child.  Felt sorry for them.  Nothing more.
4. No rain, no rainforest.  But warm rain.
5. The plum needs the cassowary to eat and pass its seeds for them to germinate.
6. Captain James Cook got stuck on a coral reef in 1770.
7. Grand-daughter, Grace.
8. Nautilus restaurant.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

792 - Relationships

Three Word Wednesday requires participants
to use the three words of the week in a composition.
The words this week were: Erect, Blemish, Lop-sided.


No relationship
Is a pairing of equals:
Different talents.

Two unequal halves,
Although perfectly aligned,

Life is like a dance—
Not a tango, more awkward,
Like a three-legged race.

Just one small blemish
Can block out all the good points;
Out of proportion

Fearing the unknown,
And sometimes knowing the known,
We erect fences.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

Tuesday, June 09, 2015

791 - The Woods

Photo by Oer Wout

The Woods.

Life is seldom
A straight path
Through a copse of trees
To the light.

Reality meanders.
Shadows call.
Enticing sounds call you
Through the mists,
From the trees,
To come and visit,
Come away from the path,
Away with me…

Abhors the normal.
Sirens of the woods,
Ulysses would understand.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

Monday, June 08, 2015

790 - Trust

Haiku Horizons has the prompt "Trust".

Trust only yourself.
All others must be suspect,
Experience shows.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

789 - Erectile Dysfunction

Mad Kane has a weekly limerick challenge.
She provides the rhyme word, this week it is “pad”.
The rest is up to us.

Erectile Dysfunction

They thought that the Rajah was mad
For building a solid gold pad.
This golden emporium
And fornicatorium
Used all of the money they had.

The place was built to rehearse
Karma Sutra, chapter and verse,
But the exertion required
Meant that the Rajah expired:
Premature ejaculation, 
Only worse.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015