Sunday, May 22, 2011

CCXXV - The Mahdi's Socks

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The Mahdi’s Socks


There was a Mahdi who ruled in Khartoum,
And had a cushion in the middle of the room,
From here he would command
Vast tracts of his land
And did it quite well, I assume.

Chorus
Scimitars swing, like scimitars do,
Slicing infidels, two by two,
Khartoum high street, the fields of Sudan,
The people all shout “the Mahdi’s our man”.

Foreign armies he knew how to handle
And ruled with an absence of scandals
But he caused regular dismay
To the press of the day
By wearing socks as well as his sandals.

Chorus

He was a fighter and answered that calling,
And the British received quite a mauling.
But as Gordon had said
Before losing his head,
(Pucker) He knows how to fight but his style is quite appalling.

Chorus

But while victories kept upping his stocks
The people still worshiped his socks,
“We prefer battle glory
To a social page story;
We don’t care if his fashion sense shocks.
.

Chorus.

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© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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Sunday, May 01, 2011

CCXXIV - The Day That William Wed His Kate

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The Day That William Wed His Kate

It started early and finished late:
Coverage of the pathway to their fate,
With breathless stories of secret courting,
The day that William wed his Kate.

It was like a free hit for the fourth estate,
The media revelled in the wedding fete.
There was no other news worth reporting
The day that William wed his Kate.

There was no mention of climate debate
Nor the nasty moves of the tectonic plates,
Neither got the coverage that they deserved
The day that William wed his Kate.

Nor did the bids to kill heads of state
Supported, of course, with UN mandates,
And there was no word about oil reserves,
The day that William wed his Kate.

Yet millions of poor, condemned by fate,
Struggled to put some food on their plate.
The world was in a sorry mess,
The day that William wed his Kate.

But none of this could be equated
To the eager tension of those who waited.
All eyes were focussed on ‘that dress’,
The day that William wed his Kate.

The social columns were quick to relate
The lines of succession traditions dictate,
They were even trying to name the kids,
The day that William bed his Kate.

They entered the palace and closed the gate
A life in a glasshouse lay in wait,
I wouldn’t swap with them for quids,
The day that William wed his Kate.

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© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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