Saturday, October 04, 2014

760 - Left Luggage

Three Word Wednesday requires participants
to use the three words of the week in a composition.
The words this week were: barren, worry and intense.


Left Luggage

Waiting for God with a vacant stare
Your mind has wandered who knows where.
You have long lost your early bloom
And now test-drive an early tomb.
It’s not exactly intensive care—
They hose you down and comb your hair
And leave you strapped into a chair
In a sparsely furnished room,
Waiting for God.

“You’ll have no worries” they declare
But quietly hope that they wont go there
They leave you there to meet your doom
And never share the twilight gloom,
Life’s a pretty barren affair,
Waiting for God.
.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery 2014
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29 comments:

  1. A rondeau! So is this the 'cycle of life'?

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  2. dark sides of the hospitals, gloomy

    Winner

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  3. I wait for no one. If they're not here on time - I leave without them!

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    1. I suggest you wouldn't want him to come early.

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  4. I take it you put the clocks forward one hour last night taking a little piece of you time and you felt it. Try to last until next year you'll get it back again.

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  5. unpalatable truth indeed..."But quietly hope that they wont go there"...ha...

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  6. it is a tough life if you're deposited like a piece of luggage and just have to wait and wait and wait...tough

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  7. End of life can happen anytime and no matter what god will always take care of us.

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  8. So many elderly waiting in such places.....so sad that so many of them do wait alone.

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  10. i hope that when my time comes close to its depletion here in this mundane existence that i will have the energy or that someone will be kind enough to take me to the ocean where my feet will touch its water then can go up to a promonting clif and sit while looking up at the stars, from whence i came, and chant...i'm ready

    gracias mi amiga

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  11. Love this take on what is often referred to as "G--D's waiting room"

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  12. I have to say using a rondeau for the bleakness of waiting in that place where they can forget you is very bleak... But some places are just waiting rooms

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  13. I can see that person sitting alone in a bare room....having worked in such places, I can verify that this is exactly how it is for many lonely elderly. I love the "waiting for God". The hopeful part.

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  14. reminds me of old age homes and their sad inhabitants

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  15. Thoughtful and provocative. The best kind of poem. You also did nicely in the formal aspect.
    Steve K.

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  16. This was so sad and so sadly true, J Cosmo.

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  17. Halloween is not to far behind :-)
    Good one!
    ZQ

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  18. this is a bitter punch to pack! really enjoyed!

    stacy lynn mar
    http://warningthestars.blogspot.com/2014/10/saturday-prompt-2-starry-skies-and.html

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  19. Sometimes its better to take Sir Terry Pratchett's personal idea of a way out.

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  20. Looks like he is sitting in an electric chair! It is sad! Nicely Cosmo!

    Hank

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  21. The title really struck me, especially after reading the post. As always, it was a powerful piece, its strength lying in its simplicity and vividness. Very well penned.

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  22. I have been away too long. Missed your talent in using words to their fullest impact. Test-driving an early tomb...brilliant :-)

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  23. okay? this felt like torture for the speaker but to me it's a moment of meditation and reflection on your younger years as you wait for the Lord's calling. either way, i admire your way of thinking.

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  24. Bleak vision in a compelling poem. The form widens and narrows the waiting, the neglect.

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