Sunday, March 07, 2010

CLXXIII - Last Train to Gallimaufry


After much too much coffee,
I give you my entry in Sir Percy's
Silly Poetry Competition.

Last Train to Gallimaufry

The fireman fed the engine well
The train moved at full split.
It trailed its smoke across the land
And whistled quite a bit.
All this was rather odd because
There were no tracks for it.

Two travellers watched the passing view:
A yak, in sporting cleats,
And a rock who looked quite fetching
In a dress with tartan pleats.
They sat in awkward silence,
Upon green leather seats.

With a crack, the door flew back,
The yak gave half a shout:
In strode a little anchovy,
"Good Sirs, you shouldn't pout!
Come now, you mustn't be so glum,
What can we talk about?"

So saying he climbed upon the seat
And lit a thin cheroot.
"Socially irresponsible,
But I couldn't give a hoot!"
"You Sir!" to the yak he said
What's with the fancy boots?"

The Yak, of course, took great offence
And turned his head away,
Then Anchovy the asked the rock
Of what he had to say.
The Rock said what a rock says best,
In a stoic, rocky way.

So as the trip progressed along,
The anchovy took the floor:
He told them of the foamy sea,
Of bluebells on the shore
Of how he mined for opals
And how he won the war.

The Snark appeared, but briefly so,
"Present your tickets, please"
He took them with his flippers
And clipped them with his knees.
As quickly as he'd come, he was gone,
Back to the rose-red sea.

The anchovy resumed his monologue
From where he'd stopped before:
He talked of how to mend a fig
and the aroma of a door,
Of pots and pans and icecream vans
And whether pine trees snore.

By now the Yak could take no more.
He rosed and cleared his throat:
"Good Sir", he said, "You've lost the plot!"
"Here, Rock, hold my coat!"
He then recited a poem
Apparently learnt by rote.


The Yak & Rocky.

T'was Brylcreem and the slimy locks
Could do little to hide the mange.
All greasy were the woollen socks
And the roast lamb tasted strange.

And there the Yak and Rock did sit
Beside the sea and knitting eggs.
They were wearing all their swimming kit
And bronzing one another's legs.

They watched some twit of the finest grade
A vorpal sword held in his hand,
Knick himself with the flailing blade
And collapse upon the sand.

As in ashen shock he lay,
The Yak and Rock, with all due care,
Pushed his vorpal sword away
And shaved off all his hair.

Knit one! Perl one! Knit one! Perl one!
The knitting needles fairly flew
And as they flickered in the golden sun
A lovely toupée grew.

A Yak sized hairpiece on the cards
And one moustache, quite thin.
The Yak looked like Keith Richards,
The Rock like Errol Flynn.

T'was Brylcreem and the slimy locks
Could do little to hide the mange.
All greasy were the woollen socks
And the roast lamb tasted strange.


The Anchovy was astounded
He clapped his hands red-raw;
Even the Snark reappeared
And brusquely asked for more.
As for the Rock, he blushed a bit:
He'd heard it all before.

Now they were the best of friends
And talked of many things:
Of docks and socks and sticky-tape,
Of cowslips and of string
Of the perils of a face-lift
And how to dance a fling.

They talked away all through the day
'Till all were fairly hoarse.
Though they were all quite hungry
None fancied custard sauce.
So they sent out for a pizza,
No anchovies, of course.

© J Cosmo Newbery


For strangers to this site, there is something of a joust going on between a number of knightly gentlemen (or otherwise) and demure , sweet and coy ladies. See the link to Sir Percy's Silly Poetry Competition in the side bar.
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  1. Come,come, don't tease,
    The Bellman sighed
    As he sat down next the rock.
    Let's ask Alice if you please,
    The anchovy should be fried.

    I can't do this. LOL. Your verses are brilliant.

  2. Weren't you supposed to do a limerick?

  3. Very nice poem, indeed, although it's also the curiousest. But I'm disappointed that Father William didn't make an appearance.

  4. Sir Cosmo:

    An most Excellent, Convivial and learned Tale, fine Sir!

    Still, in Fiercest Rivalry --

    Sir Percival

    Lady Kate: Ye shall find that "brilliant" is a relative term... BTW, ye write fine verse for a girl!

    Sir Larry: A Hale and Hearty to ye, estimable Knight!

  5. Brilliant poem dear J Cosmo, your verses are amazing, how you think of such things is a mystery to me, the limits of your imaginative and creative mind are boundless...
    I could never hope to write something so outstanding and imaginative as your offering here.

    I curtsey in respectful regard for your talents Sir Cosmo...

    Lady Dianne xoxo ♥ @-->--

  6. Lady Kate: Thank you. I too prefer my anchovies fried.

    Surly: Isn't it a Limerick?

    Sir Larry: Indeed Father William missed the train.

    Thank you Sir Percy. I kept it gentle, to aid your delicate constitution.

    Lady Dianne: You are most kind. And come bearing a rose! Thank you.

  7. "The Rock said what a rock says best,
    In a stoic, rocky way."

    Thank heavens you're not stoic, J Cosmo Newberry!

    What a delight from start to finish and I don't think I'll ever get the image of Yak and Rock knitting eggs, bronzing legs, and knitting a toupée.

    A perfect, brilliant, and silly poem for the contest.

    And I like the idea of Gallimaufry as a destination - fitting for a train full of these characters.

  8. Thank you Lady Talon, I much appreciate your support. I shall were it with pride. Though if you spell my name wrong too often I am known to turn up unexpectedly and rub you down with Yak butter.

    Gallimaufry does indeed seem the perfect destination. Indeed, I had the name before I had the poem.

  9. You had me at train...Sir I doth love trains the mostest

  10. Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

  11. You put a lot of work into this one. And I LOVE trains too.;)

  12. bravo, braaaaaavo!!! most excellent, dear sir cosmo. and if you don't mind i'll stop before my hands are red raw.

  13. Yaks, Rocks, Anchovies? Whatever next?

  14. Lady Lorraine: Sir Percy told me that you were very hard to train. Has he mislead me again?

    Protege: Thank you. I hope you and Lorraine realise that Freud had clear ideas about the symbolism of trains? You will not that I studiously avoided tunnels in the poem.

    Foam: Thank you. Look after your hands. I will need you to be able to vote.

    Lady Fi: Whatever you want. Most of the items mentions were provided, one way or another.

    Sir Timeteo: It is not a good look for a knight but I thank you greatly.

  15. You have done well, Master. I am happy for you. Really. I am.

    Now, can we head off after a windmill or two and leave the stresses of the joust behind us? Please? I believe there are dragons south of Sierra Morena this week.

  16. My sincere apologies for misspelling your name.

  17. Really very inventive and an outstanding work. I'll need to read this several times over just to fondle the images. Bravo! WELL done you!

    (Although, to be completely fair, I withhold my casting of a vote until I have seen the entire field of choice. The others DO have rather stiff competition in you, good sir, if you don't mind the rather forward comment.)

    Warm hugs and quiches from Kitty

  18. Sancho: Just one more, just one. OK?

    Talon: OK, just this once.

    Kitty: Mmmm...warm hugs AND quiches!

  19. Chhooo chooo train, I fear I'm untrainable, untamable, unnervingly imbalanced! Sir!

  20. Chhooo chooo train, I fear I'm untrainable, untamable, unnervingly imbalanced! Sir!

  21. Brilliant... Alice would approve. Heck, I approve. Love the anchovy. You are in your element. And no possums, thankfully, though the squirrel queen is back. Sigh.

  22. A poem well-penned,
    The Ladies praise,
    All winsome in their ways;
    They little know
    A pround Knight crafts
    Such Stuff as will Amaze.

    Until mine own Entry to the Contest...

    With haughty eyebrow Raised, very Lancelot-like...

    The Most Excellent
    Sir Percy Bisque Silley

  23. Why Sir Percy, you are most correct.

    Ladies! Line up! Adopt the 'swoon position'!

    Come now, Sir Percy! The ladies await! Present your piece for their examination and admiration!

    (Personally, I'm off to have a shower and breakfast.).

  24. Wow! Great! Have you published?

  25. Now, the way all these admiring women are going to your head, I reckon a cold shower would be in order.

  26. I am thinking that you are leading me up the path that is being found in the garden and that this is not being a story that is truly so.

  27. Honest Molly: Yes, but its Author be slithy at times.

    Ladies - Beware!!!

  28. Lewis Carroll would be proud. Whatever contest this was for, I hope you won, or will win.

    Looking forward to more.

  29. Well done!! Congrats!!


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