Sunday, July 28, 2013

591 : The Temple Ruins


Sunday Whirl (Wordle #119) presents a list of words
that we must incorporate in a writing piece.  

The words this week are:

one, wove, scarce, revisited, rain, rooted, 
crows, vegetation, last, cells, eroded, strength


The Temple Ruins.

The jungle has moved in.
Vegetation has reclaimed the temple.
Giant figs have rooted, grown,
And embraced the crumbling façade
With the strength of a mother 
Welcoming a loved one back to the fold.
Over this, rain throws a dismal cloak.
The atmosphere is stifling,
The rats are in control.

Some people we know
Are like places we have long left
And should not be revisited.
Distance lends an enchantment 
That does not last upon returning.

The magic they once wove is faded,
Eroded by time, 
By experience, 
By life.

The jungle has moved in.
Vegetation has reclaimed the temple.

Superficially they are unchanged,
Same cells, same bones, same hair.
Encased in an unfamiliar robe,
The humourless robe of the mean. 
Goodwill is scarce.
Different rats.

They look at you with malevolent eyes,
Eyes a crow would envy.
.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery 2013
---

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42 comments:

  1. Wonderful -- great correlations here. I've never thought about people that way, but what you say is true--wonderful vivid details aside from all of that. thanks. k. (This is Karin http://Manicddaily.wordpress.com)

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  2. This poem is very deep. I love the comparison you've made.

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  3. I have been to many places like this, even after all it seems as if something still hold in and alive.

    dropping by from http://manimantraa.blogspot.in/

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  4. Some people we know
    Are like places we have long left
    And should not be revisited.

    Yes, the obnoxious ones, there are! Beautifully crafted Cosmo!

    Hank

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  5. Thought the imagery linked to people is complex and interesting.:)

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  6. Seems a sorry state and a bad situation!! There could be disappointments in store though the heart longs to seek some more!!

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  7. Have to think about where I go to worship...

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  8. The rats, the crow, the envy! Love the stages of concepts tangled in this temple ruin.

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  9. Time moves relentlessly on and humanity foolishly thinks it is in control. What a remarkable lesson you have taught us.

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  10. Eyes a crow would envy...wow..what a culmination of this beautiful creation....you wove it well..

    http://rameshsood.blogspot.in/2013/07/he-wove-his-stories-well.html

    RS

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  11. The "jungle has moved in" what a sense of foreboding - beautifully done !

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  12. This is deep. Yes, some places (and people) should not be revisited... better to keep the enchantment one once had!

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  13. Superficially unchanged... yes and probably paid a small fortune to remain that way.

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  14. Superb!I think you painted a much bigger picture than you pasted, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, Cosmo!:)

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  15. Biting, honest, felt. Well done.

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  16. Some people we know
    Are like places we have long left
    And should not be revisited.-- so true, and i like the ring the last line leaves...

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  17. I'm always amazed by how nature reclaims a space once so strongly inhabited by man.

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  18. Love those last lines. Actually like the whole of the piece and where the words took you. And have to agree with much of what you say. Some places and people should not be revisited, but we can't know that until we do.

    Elizabeth

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  19. What a very interesting subject for poetry. As a literal description it is very evocative of the scene, but there is much for man to learn from an ancient tomb - the hubris of majesty. I particularly liked your close.

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  20. WOWZERS! Fantastic writing! Especially "some people we know are like places we have long left and should not be revisited" - is BRILLIANT. Love your zinger closing couplet.

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  21. Great pic. great poem! Reflections of the past, their charm lost upon revisiting. Good stuff!

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  22. Not much to add just wow pow powerful

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  23. Quite a poem! I especially love the second stanza and often think about people I once knew and wish to see them again, if it perhaps is best to not revisit, fearing it would destroy some wonderful memories.

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  24. I suppose a good gardener wouldn't help?

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  25. This is really excellent!

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  26. Wonderful...and your pictures always match your words so beautifully.

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  27. I really related to this poem and its many levels of meaning. Especially loved the second verse, the line 'over this rain throws a dismal cloak,' the rats, and the last two lines!!

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  28. "Some people we know are like places we have long left and should not be revisited."
    the part just stands out, I think we all know someone this may touch on.

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  29. Yes, quite a few out there in this world like that, J Cosmo.

    Pamela

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  30. Temple ruins very well depicted in your words. Nice.

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  31. Oh wow very deep indeed love those ominous closing lines =)

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  32. Cos, this poem moved from the meditation about the temple (all so effective, those images) to a metaphor for people we have let slip from our lives. Everyone can relate to this parable, I think... but that last stanza stopped me dead in my tracks... the added layer of guilt for having "disowned" those former folks.

    GREAT work, my friend. Peace, Amy

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  33. Oh, I know those people of whom you write. You have described them to a T...fabulous write!

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  34. Literally, J.C, you've got to watch the rats. They move in even before the place becomes a ruin. They would try to take over the guard shack we had to stay in, taking our turn, all night long at the radar site.

    I remember waking up to rats runing up and down the braces within the bare studs of the walls. I for one ran the generator all night long because of the rats. But they still came. Really thick when it ran out of fuel.

    Now the poet's rats, they will do likewise, move in fast when we are off guard.
    ..

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  35. How have the mighty fallen and the scales been removed from your eyes. Your hair will grow back and you will destroy the temple!

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    Replies
    1. AnonymousJuly 30, 2013

      Now the scales have fallen and the mighty been removed from your eyes, your back will grow hair and...oh rats.

      Delete
    2. Blue VelvetAugust 01, 2013

      I know what you did last summer!

      Delete
  36. Your second stanza is spot on. I've lived it. Well done, J Cosmo.

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  37. Such powerful writing and amazing metaphor. So true. Not just distance but cut ties can be the healthiest. Great incorporation of the words!

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  38. "Some people we know
    Are like places we have long left
    And should not be revisited.
    Distance lends an enchantment
    That does not last upon returning."
    I loved the poem. Words are beautifully drawn.

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  39. Opps I don't know what I pressed by my comment went away...
    Thanks for your visit to:
    Impressive

    I know too many people like the temple that has been reclaimed.
    The best stanza for me is the last.

    While on vacation a young girl told me that if you saw a crow there would be a death. I can't imagine anyone putting that superstition in such a young mind. Crows are beautiful birds. I think often misunderstood. And yet we understand clearly what you are saying...So evil are some human eyes.

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