Sunday, December 29, 2013

654 : Horatio

Sunday Whirl (Wordle #141) presents a list of words
that we must incorporate in a writing piece.  

The words this week are:
think, tip, tincture, tint, integral, synchronize
softly, with, blast, chance, answer, map.


He was the admiral of the fleet
Softly spoken though indescrete,
Integral to the French defeat
The glorious Admiral Nelson!

He synchronized the battle plans
With expert eye and steady hands,
Mapped the route to foreign lands,
The admirable Admiral Nelson!

The seas were dark, of leaden tint,
The scene was set with sail and flint
Cannons made the woodwork splint---ter
All eyes upon the Admiral Nelson!

Dust and smoke blocked out the sun,
You think the apocalypse had come,
But victory when the day was done,
Three cheers for the Admiral Nelson!

But he copped a blast of wayward shot,
“Kiss me, Hardy!”? – it matters not,
How to stop the body rot---ting?
What to do with the Admiral Nelson?

The answer came, both quick and dandy,
Tip him into a barrel, handy,
Like a new age cumquat brandy,
Home preserving for the Admiral Nelson!

When the fleet was back in port
The bos’un had a grim report:
There remained no marinade of any sort
A rum to-do for the Admiral Nelson!

The crew had drunk the barrel dry
Of the tincture of the naval guy
No-one thought to wonder why
It tasted of the Admiral Nelson!

Lady Hamilton rued his sad demise,
Never more would his column rise,
So the empire supplied a larger size
And a State farewell to Admiral Nelson.

So sailors, should you chance to roam,
Be an admiral and not a drone,
And get a column of your own,
Look up to the Admiral Nelson!
© J Cosmo Newbery 2013

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  1. I enjoyed this! We watch QI and that's where I learned of them pickling him in rum to take him home. I really can't imagine them drinking the rum though. Eeeew!

  2. You, my friend, are impressive. So, apparently, was Admiral Nelson.

  3. I can picture the whole thing....mind you I am happy that I had breakfast a while ago. I bet the sailors felt a bit queasy too!

    1. These guys are tough - they have black pudding for breakfast.

  4. I say mate, you didn't quite get Nelson right with the bit about making his plans "with expert eye and steady hands." He had lost the right one about eight years previously. It would, I suppose, have been handy to have two hands at Trafalgar, but it turns out he didn't need two to win the victory.

  5. Clearly the barrel wasn't properly labelled = a non-compliance with section 1.2.8 of the Food Standards Code.

  6. And I used to be very partial to rum...

    1. At Christmas, no doubt - Yo ho ho ho!

  7. Well, this is just a hoot!

  8. Lol! - Oh, JCN, the link at Pantry seems to have been broken a moment ago?

  9. Oh! This is just a lovely Sunday surprise - well done matey!

  10. I love historical themed writes ..and this one was a classic....

  11. nicely done and very good praise for the admiral!!

  12. One-handed but a hero many times over
    At Trafalgar square the column hovers
    For all souls as far as the eyes can see
    Including sailors freshly landed from the sea
    Nicely Cosmo!


  13. Great message of how military men should learn to think and follow the example of Admiral Nelson. You've written your poem very masterfully using metre and rhyme. The flow is so smooth that you don't feel the strain anywhere.

  14. Me thinks you had a gay old time writing this one. I could feel you grinning all the while I read it...or maybe that was last nights libations...whichever, this was pure enjoyment to read. Thank you,

  15. I smiled all the way through - your meter is always precise and your wit unfailing. I especially enjoyed "How to stop the body rot-ting?" Cackle.

  16. I guess you had fun writing this!

  17. Well, I really had never known details of the facts of Nelson's demise, but I must admit I was never curious either. Smiles.

  18. Loved the cheekiness of it.

  19. I can hear this sung in a harbour pub with the fogs of Thames seeping in... Loved it.

  20. A drinking song...or ought to be.. I loved it. And a seamless incorporation of all the words. Nicely done!

  21. A terrific story you have told; and I do love a story. Well done!

  22. I wondered who that lady was looking longingly at the the statue in Trafalgar Square the last time I was there...I know now. I chuckled all the way through.

  23. Oh this was a fun poem - and nicely written. I could see the whole story. Awesome.

  24. Every week it is amazing how you use the words! Poor Lady Hamilton. Hope she likes the new column.

  25. Eww..I forgot about the brandy barrel.. It must have tasted off at least..individualism is much maligned in the world..perhaps we should all strive to be on some kind of column..

  26. Something new to learn! Thanks for sharing! Happy New Year!


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