Thursday, December 12, 2013

643 : The Office Christmas Party

Three Word Wednesday requires participants
to use the three words of the week in a composition.
The words this week were highlight, instruct and submit.

Last year, after my workplace Xmas party,
one of the senior management (female!) reached over
and twiddled my left nipple.  
Presumably part of the 
staff recognition program.


The Office Christmas Party

I’m not here to instruct, of course;
Just giving some advice—
It’s now that office parties hit
Or tweak, to be precise.

What fun! 
But
highlights
the risks
you run.

Submit
If you must
To the false fa├žades
But wear a jumper
Thick and coarse,
And a pair of 
Nipple guards.
.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery 2013
---
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27 comments:

  1. That must have been tit-elating for you.

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  2. Thanks for that advice J Cosmo...jumper and nipple guards on the must have list..now to find a job in an office,

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  3. If the situation were reversed the consequences for you would be dire.. A movie called
    "Disclosure" with Demi Moore and Michael Douglas is about this sort of situation where a male worker sues his female boss for sexual harassment. Those see through shirts you wear must be driving the poor woman mad with desire or she could be just weird :)

    You cannot have management tweaking colleagues' nipples in the workplace.It sets a bad example. Once one gets away with it that's how it starts...an outbreak of collegiate nipple tweaking erupts. I hope you are sending her a nice new strait jacket for Christmas and making a donation to the loony bin where she is having ' extended leave'

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    Replies
    1. Should nip this sort of thing in the bud.

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  4. Personally I don't know what you are complaining about. Did she have warm hands?

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  5. There are Christmas bonuses, and there are Christmas boners.

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    Replies
    1. And Christmas crackers. But no bang from this one.

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  6. Intriguing....but let's know how was party...pl..

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  7. Ha ha - I'm not going to our office party tonight.

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  8. That's scary! Did you feel recognized?

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  9. My office party will consist of me and my two furry rascals. Seeing they love sitting up close and personal to my keyboard, I feel it's my due to throw them a party!

    Did you read my Singapore story, Cosmo? I know there are five chapters of it...so you might need a coffee...or a couple of glasses of wine and a quiet corner! ;)

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  10. Jumper and nipple guards are the ones they avoid for a fun party! Hilarious as always, Cosmo!

    Hank

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  11. that's a lawsuit waiting to happen

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  12. You are lucky that after so many years of sexual harassment you got off lightly last year. She could have added "I owed you that!"

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  13. If that had happened to me I would have smacked the guy's face but your hands are tied so to speak. Gosh women with power have a strange ideas on how to attract a man these days. I would be very surprised if this person is literate apart from reading glossy Cosmo magazines or visiting internet porn sites, informing of how to tie your man up in fifteen different positions with chains whilst spanking your lesbian lover with wet tea towels:) We live in a very strange world and I'm sorry you have to work with this creep!
    These types do not accept rejection kindly so I bet you have suffered consequences as a result.

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    Replies
    1. Funny that you should say that...

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    2. Cosmo magazine being an abbreviation for Cosmopolitan Magazine.

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    3. Perhaps Hustler would be a better choice!

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  14. Yeah ....I thought so...you wont be the only target...there will be others. They are very predictable.

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  15. I am so so so glad...yes, so glad...that I don't have to attend any office Christmas gatherings. Self-employment has it's perks! :)

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  16. Made me chuckle glad I dont go to office parties. Never have.

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