Sunday, January 05, 2014

659 : The Treadmill

Sunday Whirl (Wordle #142) presents a list of words
that we must incorporate in a writing piece.  

The words this week are:
bit, might, behind, spare, caress, sky,
save, expect, pair, struck, scarlet, first.

Sunday Scribblings 2 provided the topic:
"A road that leads nowhere".


The Treadmill

Come sit with me and rest a bit
Beneath the evening sky
And ponder what might be true
And what to save, and why.

Refrain
If we do not share
If we are not there
If we do not care
Does it really matter
Where the road is leading?

As the sky retreats to a scarlet streak
And stars caress the night,
Let us discuss the love behind
Our creations of delight.

Refrain.

What you expect is an unmatched pair, 
Seldom reflecting what you find
On the road that’s going nowhere,
On the treadmill of your mind.

Refrain.

Spare a thought for those driven types
Who struck out for the top;
The answer was much nearer home
But first they had to stop.

Refrain.

Come sit with me and rest a bit
Beneath the evening sky
And ponder what might be true
And what to save, and why.
.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery 2014
---

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40 comments:

  1. very nice. I like the repetition very much.

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  2. I'm a-ponderin', I am.

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  3. There are some beautiful sentiments in this piece. How life pans out is very much up to ourselves. Sitting with the ones you love can be just as rewarding as chasing foolish dreams.

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  4. Good Lord, I still don't know what to save, and I've read it three times. Absent-minded crow lady, am I, am I.

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  5. Reminiscent of The Walrus and the Carpenter - in my head anyway, perhaps because of the unanswerable questions. I liked this. Rather a lot. Thank you.

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  6. .Two prompts for the price of one! I'm impressed--and it sings to my soul!

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    Replies
    1. Well, one of the Wordle challenges is to find a topic to set the words around, so the two birds.

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  7. I'm sorry but all roads lead somewhere . . . It is only that a lot of roads lead to where no one wants to go. . . . and in that the refrain is most poignantly true.
    "If we do not share
    If we are not there
    If we do not care
    Does it really matter
    Where the road is leading?"

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  8. I like this a lot. Each verse could stand alone. I particularly like the verse beginning with "spare a thought for those driven types."

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  9. Lot of truth in this, especially the refrain. Without a definite point, purpose, and goal in mind, it doesn't really matter where the road leads.

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  10. It takes a moment to ponder and it goes a long way. Obviously matters are best resolved when together. Well thought out poem Cosmo!

    Hank

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  11. I am sitting virtually by your side. Nudge me if somethimg comes to you in your solitude.
    Ciao
    Pea

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  12. The lilt of a fine ballad..who could refuse the invitation..

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  13. I liked it very much, and there was a feeling of the Walrus and the Carpenter.

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  14. I like the refraining verses, specially the why ? ~

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  15. Read this while I was actually on the treadmill! I know that treadmill of the mind!

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  16. The mind is a treadmill, that's for sure.

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  17. This is lovely; it has a warm, old-fashioned quality that I like very much. "Treadmill of your mind" is a great line!

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  18. You really made a song of this.. wonderful.

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  19. loved the parting verse. great concept.

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  20. Wonderful! It's amazing how you brought all those words together so seamlessly.

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  21. We do find the wonder when we slow down and look at it. This is lyrical, beautiful.

    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2014/01/03/evidence-of/

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  22. I've tried writing a few songs but they were awful. Yours has a rhythm that catches the ear and then the meaning to follow through!

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  23. I love it, Cosmo, especially the repeated stanza at the end.

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  24. Very thought provoking, J.C.:

    If we do not share
    If we are not there
    If we do not care
    Does it really matter
    Where the road is leading?

    It doesn't.

    Peace and joy!

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  25. I enjoyed this one the refrains make the piece tight.

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  26. I'm pondering too...
    Anna :o]

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  27. Love the whole poem, but the first stanza spoke to me deeply, J.

    Pamela

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  28. I enjoyed this piece very much! The refrain is thought-provoking and one stanza stood out as the words taking you to a similar "space" as they did for me:
    As the sky retreats to a scarlet streak
    And stars caress the night,
    Let us discuss the love behind
    Our creations of delight.

    That scarlet and caress were words that both brought us skyward is neat.

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  29. Loved the lyrical setup, J Cosmo, and I loved "the treadmill of your mind"...such an apt description of thought. Yes, we so often forget to take a moment to just breathe and be happy to be where we are in the moment.

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  30. I love the rhythm and flow of this.

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  31. def think we have to consider what we do and why...as i think at times when we get down too it our motives...and ultimately our results are not what we expected or orignially intended....

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  32. I cheated and read straight through as is, but then I realized the full refrain must be read after each stanza for the full effect, and better to speak all of it, then it is like calling out a stanza from the edge of a steep sided canyon, and instead of hearing your own words come back to you, you hear wisdom echo back to you in the form of the refrain, and it is the same wise answer in question form with each stanza rendered in earnest…

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  33. ahhh just to sit awhile and ponder what to toss and what to save in the order of right now.... love that....

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