Wednesday, February 05, 2014

678 : Nouvelle Cuisine

Mad Kane has a weekly limerick challenge.
She provides the first line rhyme word,
The rest is up to us:

A fellow was making a scene,
When partaking of nouvelle cuisine.
“The portions are so small 
They’re not there at all,
You can’t even see where they’ve been.”
A bit of a flurry of limericks in the comments section too.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2014

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  1. A fellow wearing a beanie
    Was a teaser addicted to blinis
    Decided to go on a diet
    Of oysters and stiff egg whites
    Washing them down with bellinis

    1. A fellow who wore a sarong
      While striking a large dinner gong
      Said "Saying 'grace' you must thank
      That fellow from Rank;
      As an appetiser never goes wrong.

    2. Said a Spaniard, a bit of a flake,
      "You're making an enormous mistake!
      I personally feel
      The best part of the meal
      Is the lady jumping out of the cake!"

    3. A fellow who wore a sarong
      Gave a dinner for his friend Suzy Wong
      His garb came apart
      to loud sighs and some gasps
      Cos they'd never seen legs quite this long

    4. Rank OutsiderFebruary 07, 2014

      A lady came as a meal guest
      After a suitor's request -
      By the end of the night
      Of culinary delight
      Only the salad was dressed.

    5. A fellow who constantly flirts,
      Loved dining with women in skirts.
      If they made their way through
      The extended menu
      They were sure to get their desserts.

    6. a lady rushed out and bought skirts
      to dine with the world's biggest flirt
      she became disappointed
      on discovering he was double jointed
      so she left and she wasn't the first

    7. Ferguson PlarreFebruary 08, 2014

      He went to a patisserie vendor
      To buy cakes and tarts to send her.
      But she wasn't the first
      To receive such a burst:
      He was clearly a cereal offender.

    8. he was clearly a serial offender
      and not known for his penchant for slender
      so he sent them wine and boxes of tarts
      to stack on the pounds thinking he was very smart
      as they grew voluptuously whale like in splendour

  2. Hmmm. I guess I'm not a fan of nouvelle cuisine. But with portions that small, what Bear would be?

    Peace and joy!

  3. Haha. Good one! And that portion appears to be merely a spoonful. :)

  4. Or feel where they've gone!

  5. Good one! That picture looks about right too. I dislike stacked food. I think they do it so you can't actually see the size of the meal, and it's always served on a plate the size of a truck hub-cap. Let's face it, they aren't a proper satisfying meal - they are a pose!

  6. perhaps...
    a fellow was making obscene
    gestures with his fat hands, seen
    by all nearby as he
    was getting all nasty
    with what remained of the spleen ~

  7. h,Hmmm, we all need value for money..

  8. Apparently food limericks are blessed
    when their lyrics include hints of sex
    but (given that part of the art's
    to make women objects and targets)
    I like your innocent one best!

  9. Was very much the life of the party
    Reputation at stake to prop up easy
    throw in some moves
    within the oily grooves
    To come up with not looking messy


  10. Laughing, this was great.

  11. Hilarious - I always think the same thing of those tiny artistic looking plates - where's the FOOD?

  12. I recently sat next to a table whose occupants DEMANDED an additional plate of food because they thought the portions too small. Wild world.

  13. Well the plate is decorated nicely anyway:-)

  14. Great limerick! I wrote one when I was 14 and they can be so catchy.... I still remember it!

  15. Too funny, too true. Also must say, you have the perfect rhythm in your limerick, which is actually rather hard to achieve. Good one, Cos.

    There once was a man from Nantucket... (I know the whole thing. Remember, years playing in bars and clubs!) Amy


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