Sunday, May 04, 2014

699 : The Black Bird

Sunday Whirl (Wordle #159) presents a list of words
that we must incorporate in a writing piece.  

The words this week are:

blackbird, night, broken, wings, life, moment, 

arise, eyes, free, light, see, dead


The Black Bird

Black,
Sombre,
Cadaverous;
The grim keeper
Of malice and bile
Sits
Silently,
Perched up high,
Watching in sullen grey tones
The moments
Of life
As they pass by her eyes,
Broken only by the light and dark
Of a flickering timeline.
Her cold black, gimlet eyes,
Sharp eyes,
Piercing eyes,
Dead and lifeless
Judging eyes,
All seeing hate-filled eyes,
Watch
As she sits
Wings folded behind her,
Like a mortician
Watching the mourners arrive.
Nights come and go
But the darkness remains
She sees all
But says nothing
Free to arise and go
Yet not to.
Black,
Sombre,
Cadaverous,
Watching.
.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery 2014
---

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35 comments:

  1. Well conveyed nastiness. The hackles on my neck rose as I read though.

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  2. Reminds me of my kindergarten teacher.

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    Replies
    1. I thought you went to obedience school.

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  3. Give the black birds a miss and hang out with little blue wrens (much nicer:)

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  4. the great watchers sitting on the powerline...taking it in...free to watch...or not...
    they have a bit of menace at times..i think its the passivity that urks me...

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  5. Ah,. what a great view on blackbird.. sometimes those watching black birds can look much more menacing than they really are...

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  6. honestly - that reminded me of some people i know... it's scary - isn't it...

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  7. Gorgeous - and spine chilling - the form works wonderfully as well - Bravo!

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  8. I am all for watching. You are giving that black bird bad press.

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  9. Sinister and foreboding!

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  10. I know all judging eyes are always dead and lifeless...creepy...

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  11. Clearly not a Blackbird :-)
    melodious thrilling delightful stealing my blossoms and my Arbutus unedo berries, pooping purply on my paths in autumn, making me open windows to hear its midnight song [only in Spring]

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    Replies
    1. Full marks for deduction Jo-hanna : I am writing about a bird that is black. A raven, in fact.

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  12. Very nice description:) Incidentally I too wrote about a bird.

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    Replies
    1. Very hard not to, given the prompt words, eh?

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  13. dark and i envy their freedom.

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  14. "Wings folded like a mortician" is a fabulous image.

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  15. "Like a mortician, watching the mourners arrive"....one of the best descriptions of a blackbird ever.

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  16. Excellent piece (DCXCI) Sometimes, I feel her presence. :-)(-:
    ZQ

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  17. Great job. Wonderful rhythm. Chilling.

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  18. You took this to a dark place, but I really liked it. You're a master with the prompt, J Cosmo.

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  19. "She sees all
    But says nothing
    Free to arise and go
    Yet not to" wow.

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  20. Many things can be infested with blackness inside..birds..people..angels..but those gimlet eyes certainly fix you.. strong as a box tight poem

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  21. This brings to mind a brand of religiousity that aggravates me to no end. Do you know the type I mean? They watch. They wait. They judge. They condemn. If possible, they'd peck your eyes out. Sorry, I'm ranting.

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  22. Yikes! Kind of like the one on Poe's bust of Pallas Athena. Yet both have the tinge of human interpretation laid upon them, a Gothic kind of other worldliness. The poor bird is trapped in the myth. Well done.

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  23. Its color can be a put off initially! If only one is readily able to ignore and like it. Nastiness is apparent here! Great write Cosmo!

    Hank

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  24. I don't know, J. I like blackbirds. Nice rhythm here.

    Pamela

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  25. we have a lot of blackbirds about, Grackles; but they are quite playful and frolicksome, your poem is intense and i luv

    much love...

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    Replies
    1. Blackbirds are, black birds aren't.

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  26. I don't trust them! Love your piece though!

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