Friday, August 15, 2014

747 - Apocalypse Rat

Three Word Wednesday requires participants
to use the three words of the week in a composition.
The words this week were: eradicate, mercenary and squeamish.
The opening life was said in conversation by my mother.

Apocalypse Rat.

I love the smell of dead rat in the morning,
The tell-tale odour of a ratty demise.
The cat, bless her furry fatness,
Has long since given up mercenary ambitions
And will not countenance otherwise.
So a more mechanical means was required 
To eradicate the ratty hordes
As one by one their ratty souls are hurled
Into the pits of the afterworld.

Sharp, quick and, I’m told, painless,
Though not by any of the ratty crew
Who have had to pleasure
Of the sudden launch into that vast abyss—
They go forth with a spring-steel kiss.

Of course, there is still the sombre duty,
To deal with the furry, rigid corpse,
Not for the squeamish to be sure
But easier than those former trophies,
Half chewed by the once mercenary cat,
And left by the kitchen door.
.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery 2014
---
.

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33 comments:

  1. By the kitchen door? You are privileged. My partner bad mouthed the cats because he had seen a mouse in the house. Lazy and useless were two of the phrases used.
    The next morning as he was getting ready for work a mouse head rolled from his shoe...

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  2. Though you have your rat traps out, they are too big for a mouse. But I suppose you don't have any mouse problems.

    Peace, joy, etc.

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  3. The early bird gets the worm,
    But the second rat gets the cheese.

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    Replies
    1. Life is about grasping your opportunities when you can.

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  4. Cats now go after songbirds instead. Can you blame them?

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    Replies
    1. I don't know - not a lot of attraction in a mouth full of feathers.

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    2. Put a bell around their necks. A 500kg church bell, for example.

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  5. There are so many protest these days it won't be long before rats will be marching on parliament demanding protection...and why not? They've been victims too long.

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  6. aw the lazy, dreamy cat :)

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  7. oy... we used to live in an old farm house and had hordes of mice... not fun... and the neighbor's cat hunted them down and put them dead in front our front door... what a surprise in the early morning..... grrmmphfff

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  8. Cats either you love them or hate them, poor mouse, great write.

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  9. Rather a cat than a trap or poison! I did enjoy this rollicking romp this morning.

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  10. When you reach the stage that you bless the smell of dead rat - then there is a rat problem indeed.. Lazy cats indeed :-) but at least you don't have to squirm when they give up I a morning kiss :-)

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  11. beautifully written using three wednesday words

    Maps To Peace

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  12. Ah something sadistically delicious in this one :)

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  13. This reminded me of Scottish whiskey factories where they have cats to chase mice and rats. Seems less radical than your method. I hope the cats there never get that lazy.

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  14. One rat is too many! Cats do have their uses.

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  15. "...They go forth with a spring-steel kiss."
    Can one smile and grimace at the same time? I did :-)
    Fun piece and well written.
    ZQ

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  16. Aw--so very witty and wise--Loved this!

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  17. I love "a spring-steel kiss"---haha. Poor rats. And, also, what a fun idea to start a poem with a line that was actually spoken by your mother. Moms say the strangest things sometimes....this could be a wealth of poetic inspiration!!

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  18. You make this witty and amusing, oddly...hee hee....I especially admire these lines:
    As one by one their ratty souls are hurled
    Into the pits of the afterworld.

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  19. Yep, cats love chasing around those rats ~ the real ones & the catnip toy mice :)

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  20. Oh, good I wasn't eating something while reading...having only one reaction for mice - a scream! ~ ants easy to get rid off. :)

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  21. oooh the spring steel kiss made me shudder.

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  22. True that, every bit of it. And what do you do for the blood? Back when I lived with mice, I bought disposable traps and placed them in paper sacks. Easy clean up. And the cats got the ones lower down. When I could, I lifted each cat to beyond the screen door.

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  23. Hilarious! At least the rat is dead. I had a cat who caught a mouse and then let it go . . . inside the house. I suspect because she wasn't done playing yet and didn't want the fun to end. She eventually killed it and left it for me to step on near the couch. I have a dog now.

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  24. At least you can find the presents every time. My folks might not see them for weeks....

    Great poem.

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  25. stand pat, dear cat, steel's got the rat... ~

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  26. So funny. Made me giggle. What's amazing is that it is a 'squeamish' plot but you have done such a lovely job in adding that element of humour. One doesn't actually cringe at thinking there is a dead rat in the house. Hahaha.

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