Monday, March 30, 2009

CXXXXVI - The Lord's Prayer

I opted to have a go at Mama's Losin' It's writing assignment from last week.
Well, sort of. Her prompt was "
I don't believe in prayer because...".
I decided to take a look at this from God's point of view.
Naturally, it would be a musical.

There is also a shadow of Monty Python's Lumberjack song in the chorus.

The Lord's Prayer

I’m God! I amaze! I positively astound!
I created the heavens, the sky and the ground.
I’m omnipotent
With an intelligence quotient
That you can’t get your mind around.

He’s a diety and he knows best
He loves his flock and smites the rest.
He has a beard,
A flowing robe,
And the patience that it takes.
He’s the ruler of the Universe
And he never makes mistakes.

I’m God! I’m King! I created mankind.
I’m the sweetest diety that you’ll ever find.
I’m Jehovah! I’m Allah!
I’m a really nice fella,
The sun shines out of my...well, nevermind.


I’m God! I’m smart! I have global vision.
I’m CEO of the angelic division.
But by the end of the day
There’s junk in my tray,
Requesting I change my decisions.


I’m God! I’m tough! I know how to win.
But your lack of trust gets under my skin.
You've a habit of praying,
Over blindly obeying,
And the novelty’s wearing a bit thin.


I’m God! I’m mean. I’ve a hairy chest.
Junk mail irritates and gets me stressed,
Be very careful
When you send me a prayer full
I may just grant you what you request.


© J Cosmo Newbery
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  1. oh .. what divine fun .. :)
    let's see .. what should i request ..

    oh, wait .. i think you are trying to tell us that you are not a genie in a bottle ..

  2. I think it would work 'on ice', too.

  3. Sometimes it is nice to think of God in a more human state of mind!

  4. I am amused, but the nuns would be shocked! Here's hoping he has a sense of humour....oh wait a minute! Of course he has---he made US!

  5. Oh, so the Lord's Prayer is really funny. LOL
    Health information
    Humor & Fun World

  6. Yes, I would definitely book a front row circle seat for that show.

    I feel there might be scope for another verse in there too, using the rhymes 'deity' and 'laity'.

  7. Quite cute with this, J Cosmo :o)

  8. "I’m CEO of the angelic division."

    A fabulous line. And Mel Brooks is cast in the role of God yet again?

    Welcome back!

  9. back in fine form !!!
    excellent xx

  10. Bravo, encore, Gods no longer a bore.

  11. I'm going with Lady Fi's comment: A deity who's amused. I mean, who would want his/ her job ??? Talk about carrying the weight of the world on one's shoulders ....


  12. I got quite a mental picture with the 'sun shines out his...' bit ;)

  13. You're back ... and with a doozy! Loved it! And God smiled upon you on this day, didn't She?

  14. I was ready to write my comment when my husband called me to help him with something. Several hours later, I can't remember what I was going to say and I can't get the Lumberjack song out of my head.


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