Tuesday, December 27, 2011

CCLXIX - Once upon some time or other

 Sunday Scribblings had a topic 'Fairytale'

Once upon some time or other

Once upon some time or other
There was a very hassled mother;
Her kids had not done what she had said
And so were packed off to their bed.

“We cannot sleep”, the kids did wail
And demanded she read a bedtime tale.
She briefly considered trying to sing it
But had no books, so had to wing it.

“Once upon a time”, her story went,
“Cock Robin was killed with mean intent;
He had built a sweet house, made of straw
And the poor old lion had a thorn in its paw.

He ate the tarts that were really the Queen’s
And sold the cow for only three beans
He cut off its tail with a carving knife,
Because living in a shoe was a wretched life.

A scheming wolf then knocked at the door
While Cinderella swept up the floor.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And the rats all followed him out of town.

The witch rubbed her hands with some glee
As the King called out to his fiddlers three;
The frog, it did a wooing go,
Its fleece, it was as white as snow.

But when she got there the cupboard was bare
And told her to let down her golden hair,
But Jack and Jill were only good friends
And they lived happily ever after. The end.”

It sleep was the goal, it failed to work
The kids had gone beyond berserk
“This is not right” they yelled with a noise
And pelted their mother with their toys.

“Tough titties, you little swine” she cried
“I did my best, I really tried.
If you didn’t like it, it’s no fault of mine
I’m off to have a mug of wine.”

“Wait!  Wait!  Mother, not so fast,
We think your version quite a blast!
But you left out the Dukes ten thousand men
So, please, say it over once more again.”

© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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  1. This gave me a laugh tonight!! Quite a tale.

  2. You're rhyming flow is always perfection, your humor always razor sharp, J Cosmo. I love all the fairytales you wove into this!

    Poor Mother - her work is never done. :)

    Wishing you a fabulous New Year!

  3. My kids would love this story!

  4. Well you got most of them in. Have a gold star!

  5. A wonderful poetic creation dear J Cosmo, great work!
    xoxoxo ♡

  6. I can honestly say that there were times when my child was small that I felt exactly like saying what the mom in your story said! What a great read! I'm still laughing!

  7. A great round up of the favorites.I love the Cosmos treatment of wit and laughter that accompany the verse!


  8. haha love the mash up of all the tales in her rendition...and the kids response....haha...much fun in this one...thanks for sharing it over at dverse...

  9. smiles..that was quite a trip through the fairy tale world...and no wonder the kids couldn't sleep afterwards..haha..always loved reading to my kids when they were small...

  10. OK, I visited the first time you posted this. I am visiting again now that you are sharing with dVerse. What I have to add now is...those kids sure are manipulative. LOL.

  11. Very nice weaving of all the fairy tales I seem to remember ~ Funny ending twist too ~

  12. Clever and fun, sounds something my stepmother would recite.

  13. Wow! That's impressive that you could pull all that together and do it in a very quality way! Very nicely done!

  14. I so enjoyed reading this... something, I think, that should be read to children, too.


  15. You did it again, Cosmo! Your wit is fantastic. And you went through the whole gamut of tales that mesmerized the tots. Great!



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