CCLXIX - Once upon some time or other

 Sunday Scribblings had a topic 'Fairytale'. 

Once upon some time or other

Once upon some time or other
There was a very hassled mother;
Her kids had not done what she had said
And so were packed off to their bed.

“We cannot sleep”, the kids did wail
And demanded she read a bedtime tale.
She briefly considered trying to sing it
But had no books, so had to wing it.

“Once upon a time”, her story went,
“Cock Robin was killed with mean intent;
He had built a sweet house, made of straw
And the poor old lion had a thorn in its paw.

He ate the tarts that were really the Queen’s
And sold the cow for only three beans
He cut off its tail with a carving knife,
Because living in a shoe was a wretched life.

A scheming wolf then knocked at the door
While Cinderella swept up the floor.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And the rats all followed him out of town.

The witch rubbed her hands with some glee
As the King called out to his fiddlers three;
The frog, it did a wooing go,
Its fleece, it was as white as snow.

But when she got there the cupboard was bare
And told her to let down her golden hair,
But Jack and Jill were only good friends
And they lived happily ever after. The end.”

It sleep was the goal, it failed to work
The kids had gone beyond berserk
“This is not right” they yelled with a noise
And pelted their mother with their toys.

“Tough titties, you little swine” she cried
“I did my best, I really tried.
If you didn’t like it, it’s no fault of mine
I’m off to have a mug of wine.”

“Wait!  Wait!  Mother, not so fast,
We think your version quite a blast!
But you left out the Dukes ten thousand men
So, please, say it over once more again.”

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© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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