Imaginary Garden with Real Toads challenges us to write in the ‘Common Octave’ form.
As If Apart
Watching the world, as if apart,
Remote and on my own —
Can others not see what I see,
The follies that we’ve sown?
We live our life and then depart
Beyond this mortal zone;
Those not of the majority
Must walk this path alone.
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© J Cosmo Newbery 2012
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never alone xxx
ReplyDeletebeautiful
ReplyDeleteAh, yes... outside looking in. I do think, however, each of us is simultaneously in good company, yet alone. I know... figure that one out! :-)
ReplyDeleteI love how wonderfully you executed this form. I also love its message. One does get the feeling of standing back and watching things that seem so obvious...... I know just what you mean.
ReplyDeleteJ Cosmo, I doubt anyone is ever really alone in his/her beliefs. There are always others who feel the same way...but to find those people.....
ReplyDeleteI agree, for the very fact that if someone is not literally alone, feeling alone is enough to make solitude a reality.
ReplyDeleteAlso, great use of rhyming and form.
There is a sombre introspection to this poem which shows the other side of festive seasons - a sense of alienation and loneliness which is somehow accentuated over Christmas time.
ReplyDeleteI hope you will raise a glass of good red wine, and propose a toast to possibility.
Sombre, and so, so apt. Thank you.
ReplyDeletePowerful! The last two lines are chilling.
ReplyDeleteI intoned this like swallows of the best coffee and then again to the tune of "God rest Thee merry, Gentlemen" saying yes, sighing yes, always, and then thanked God for a place away from the herd to think our thoughts before speaking. Your poem is a gift.
ReplyDeleteOf course we see the follies. That may even be one of the reasons we choose not to be alone, but to be part of a warm and (we hope) loving community. Certainly, life isn't easy, and understanding man's inhumanity to man might be the very reason we believers realize there is a power greater than ourselves. But hey, who knows?
ReplyDeleteI hope you are not as alone as you have expressed here.
K
sigh, true.
ReplyDeleteSo lovely dear J Cosmo.
ReplyDeletexoxoxo ♡
A stark choice.
ReplyDeletePeople!
Can't live with them, can't live without them.
Clever and tightly crafted.
I really enjoyed the power of this poem ! very tight and concise, and you actually inspired me to write a poem for this challenge !!
ReplyDeleteExcellent! At all levels.
DeleteLovely and powerful!
ReplyDeleteThe word I thought at first is somber and I see other have said the same...I enjoy the tone and perspective...I've felt very much of the same, I think. Great write!
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