CCCV - More Wedding Plans

.Mad Kane has a regular limerick challenge.

She provides the first line, the rest is up to us.

I posted some yesterday.  Here are some more:

A fellow was planning to wed
But was sadly found naked in bed
With the mother of the bride,
Along for a ride,
So, for his own safety, he fled.

◊◊◊

A lady was planning to wed
But bought a small puppy instead.
“It’s cuddly and sweet,
It’s very discrete,
And adores me, as long as he’s fed.

◊◊◊

A fellow who was planning to wed
Practiced for his time in the bed
By visiting scores
Of big-breasted whores.
But he never enjoyed it , he said.

◊◊◊

A Tasmanian was planning to wed
His sister, the one with two heads.
His father said, “Jack,
She’s crap in the sack!”
So he married his mother instead.

◊◊◊

A fellow wasn't planning to wed
When he drew a sweet lass to his bed
But her father's advice
Was clear and concise:
"Marry her, my boy, or you're dead!"

◊◊◊

A fellow wasn’t planning to wed
When he had a liaison, in the shed.
But what altered his mind
Was a moment defined
By the shotgun, aimed at his head.

◊◊◊

A footballer was planning to wed
Until the tabloids published a spread
Showing him surprised,
In a position, compromised
With a spaniel, who was giving him head.

(Based on a true story, just the breed

has been changed to protect the innocent.)

 .

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© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery

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