I was horrified to learn that the new Secretary of Health
in the UK believes in homeopathy.
It's like having a Treasurer who believes in the Tooth Fairy.
Infinitely Diluted Nonsense
Nonsense appears in many forms
Ranging from the silly to the weird.
But few come close to the stupidity
With which homeopathy is revered.
Chorus
Just one fact is for sure
One that annoys,
One that irks:
Homeopathy is a magic cure!
The less you use it,
The more it works.
First you decide what caused your ills
And then dilute it, using all due care:
Ten-fold, ten-fold and ten-fold again:
Until statistically it’s not even there.
Nonsense appears in many forms
Ranging from the silly to the weird.
But few come close to the stupidity
With which homeopathy is revered.
Chorus
Just one fact is for sure
One that annoys,
One that irks:
Homeopathy is a magic cure!
The less you use it,
The more it works.
First you decide what caused your ills
And then dilute it, using all due care:
Ten-fold, ten-fold and ten-fold again:
Until statistically it’s not even there.
Chorus
Coffee keeps you awake at night
So a little will have you snoozing;
And if you’re mugged in the street
A gentle tap will cure the bruising.
Coffee keeps you awake at night
So a little will have you snoozing;
And if you’re mugged in the street
A gentle tap will cure the bruising.
Chorus
Ipecac Syrup makes you chuck
So, diluted, calms your stomach down;
And if you are feeling a bit depressed
They’ll administer a little frown.
Chorus
But homeopaths are canny folk
And would not think it funny
If you were to pay your bill
With infinitely diluted money.
.
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© 2012 J Cosmo Newbery
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Hmmm, lots of things seem to work IF you believe!
ReplyDeleteWhat, no tooth fairy???
Never tried it (homeopathy). But if the Minister of Health believes in it, well, then, it must be . . horrid. (So much for the credibility of politicians, of all stripes and spots.)
ReplyDeleteAnd no tooth fairy? Cynical you! Spoiling everyone's fun.
I love the way you add chorus in your poems ... they really add value to your work :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's a worry...well diluted of course!
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
hahahahahaaa ....
ReplyDeletethat last stanza did it for me!
well and impishly done, Cosmo
xxx
Mega and undiluted thanks.
ReplyDeleteAnd another good one pleasures our senses....
ReplyDeletemaybe if all americans pulled out there teeth in offering the tooth fairy would erased our national debt...hmm....ha
ReplyDeleteI think Brian Miller is the new genius of economics.
ReplyDeleteIf you believe it will cure you, it will...and those fees aren't funny as they charge you an arm and leg for what your grandma or mother probably told you before ~
ReplyDeleteOur treasurer Mr Swan derives spiritual and intellectual inspiration from Bruce Springsteen!
ReplyDeleteThe tooth fairy is looking good. Ah tis wonderful to be surrounded and imbued with such stimulating intellectualism!
LOL... love your satire.
ReplyDeleteI can definitely see this as coming from a Gilbert & Sullivan musical!
ReplyDelete