Sunday, June 09, 2013

531 : Nocturne III – Intermission


There seems to be a nocturne theme in the blogosphere at present.
Imaginary Garden with Real Toads asks us to write a Nocturna.
(9 lines, decasyllabic, aba cbc dbd.)


Intermission

Bells, vespers for the closing of the day
Herald the coming of a time of rest
And present a chance to clean the slate.

An important lesson that should be drawn:
Our problems, too, traverse the night refreshed
To reappear with the coming of the dawn.

Through such loose ends, countless sheep are numbered;
Far better if the issues are addressed
To then start the new day, unencumbered.

---
© J Cosmo Newbery 2013
---


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22 comments:

  1. Best to start the day encumbered, after a good rest ~ You got the rhyming pattern correctly & linked rhyme words - rest, refreshed & addressed.

    Thanks for linking up with Real Toads ~

    Have a good weekend ~

    Grace

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  2. You had me at vespers. Very nice!

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  3. Something to aspire to, and beautifully expressed. Thank you.

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  4. Loose ends and countless sheep can be conquered...slashing paddocks is the answer...physical exhaustion...lovely pic ..birds in chevron flight...am going to steal it.

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  5. filled with hope and refreshing thoughts:) the way to start our day,,,,lovely poem

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  6. So true. Yet sometimes those loose ends are things only we can resolve...

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  7. Oh, if only the issues truly could be laid to rest. Usually they seem more like zombies and they come back the next day.

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  8. True, and so well stated.

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  9. That middle couplet is a little sobering :-)

    You are an accomplished water colourist.

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  10. well done! that last stanza, and particularly "countless sheep are numbered," slowed me down and made me think. excellent!

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  11. I agree. Delighted in your steps toward comparison! This message used the form well,with room to breathe.

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  12. I love the note of practical positivism in this piece !!!

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  13. I love that word "vespers" — it always takes me back to summer camp and prayers sung at nightfall, on a hill, with the sky above and the lake below. So restful. And in those days problems didn't "reappear with the coming of the dawn"! Well said.
    I love this poem.
    K

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  14. "Our problems, too, traverse the night refreshed", I love that. That our problems are the same yet new, every day, not resolved only fresh.

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  15. Oh, she did it again! That's my sister above...I just scrolled down here to make comment on the exact same potions!! Umm...well, I'll just say, "what she said!!"

    Excellent work!

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    Replies
    1. that should be portions!

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    2. Goodness! A family affair!

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  16. lovely piece with nice thoughts...start a day unencumbered. Lovely close!

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  17. Don't like redundancy, but this is lovely and true.

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  18. Enjoying your previous posts and your versatility as a writer. I appreciate how your blog is organized. The styles pique my interest and your writing is so fluid! Thank you.

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