CCXLIII - Fall from Grace

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Mad Kane has a regular limerick challenge.
She provides the first line, the rest is up to us.
Here are my efforts this week:


A fellow who tended to brag
Was proud of the balls in his bag.
He'd invite all the girls
To handle his pearls
And was distressed when they started to sag.

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Or then there could be this:

A woman who tended to brag
Of her quest for a mind-blowing shag
Got the full attention
Of the male extension,
But none could perform in the bag.

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© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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CCXLII - As game as they come.

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Mad Kane has a regular limerick challenge.
She provides the first line, the rest is up to us.
Here are my efforts this week:


A woman who always seemed game
Developed spots with a long Latin name.
She got infected
After sex unprotected;
But was at a loss to know who to blame.

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© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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CCXLI - Money Honey

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Mad Kane has a limerick, starting with the first line,
"A man who was free with his money".

Here is my slant on it:


A man who was free with his money
Attracted the wrong sort of honey.
Without much ado
She poisoned his stew;
His last words were “Tastes a bit funny…”

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© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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CCXL - The Question

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Magpie Tales had the above painting as a prompt.


The Question

Life is rewarding, have no doubt:
Fortune favours the brave.
With trembling voice the words came out.
Would she give him what he craved?

“You want what?” she cried aghast,
“We hardly even kissed!
There are many things I’d do if asked
But that’s not on my list!”

“On this I must be very firm:
Your head is full of rocks.
Life is far too short a term
To spend it darning socks.”

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© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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CCXXXIX - Never Needle a Knitter

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Mad Kane has a regular limerick challenge.
She provides the first line, the rest is up to us.
Here are my efforts this week:

A man who was lacking in wit
Needled those who knew how to knit.
He did it too often
Now he lives in a coffin;
The details are in his obit.

A girl who was lacking in wit
Thought a penis was something that bit.
At the end of the night
She exclaimed with delight,
“It’s toothless! But it knows how to spit!”

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© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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CCXXXVIII - A Love-Smitten Guy.

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Mad Kane has a regular limerick challenge.
She provides the first line, the rest is up to us. Here is my effort:
.
A love smitten guy was irate
When he found his sweet love in a state
Politely described
As ‘over imbided’
And in bed with the coxless eight*.

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A love-smitten guy was irate
That his member refused to inflate.
The eye of his affection
Consoled his dejection
But privately said it was great.

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© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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*For the technically minded (= pedantic) a rowing eight is never coxless,
but what is the use of poetry if you can't use poetic licence?
...

CCXXXVII - The Letters

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Theme Thursday had a prompt: Letter


The Letters

The yellowing letters, ribbon bound,
Lived in the top drawer, beside her bed.
Read and re-read, she always found
Comfort and solace in what they said.

He wrote of his love, forever burning,
He wrote of their lives, forever entwined,
He wrote with passion and an inner yearning,
She always blushed when she read those lines.

Margin notes embellished the pages,
Here and there a flower was pressed,
The letters talked from across the ages
Of a love that failed to be suppressed.

He went to the war, now always apart,
But, in his letters, he returns his heart.

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© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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