Sunday, May 30, 2010

Interlude, with wine.

One Minute Writer had a topic "Wine/Whine"
Write a brief bit of fiction using the words "wine" and "whine."
I am off on holidays but I will take a pad and pen.
You never know...

There will be weeping, some will whine;
Others will cheer, a few will pine;
But I'm about to take
A well earned break,
With a passport, a visa and a lot of wine.

© J Cosmo Newbery

Sunday, May 23, 2010

CLXXXXVII - The Knight & the Dragon

Sunday Scribblings had the topic "Dragons".

The Knight & the Dragon

The hero of our story is a knight,
Aroused by a young maiden’s plight.
The distress she was showing
Got his hormones a-flowing
And he headed off in search of a fight.

The maiden was screaming with fear
As the fire-breathing dragon drew near
With the intent to subdue her
And then rudely barbeque her
An unpleasant ending was clear.

The knight was sure he could beat him,
The dragon, equally sure, came to meet him.
As they prepared for the bout
The maid gave a shout:
“The knight! He’s fatter than me, eat him!”

The combatants fight to rules, well defined,
And she’d clearly crossed over the line.
The dragon gave a twitch
And flambéed the bitch.
They ate her with bread and a fine wine.

© J Cosmo Newbery

CLXXXXVI - Cold Comfort


Cold Comfort

I admit I was skeptical when I was told
That it was the chill that caused a cold.
I decided to test this temperate bleating
And see if she got ‘hot’ if I upped the heating.

If cold equals cold, then it stands to reason
That hot will bring forth some passionate squeezin’.
I went to the dial and set it higher,
Enough, I hoped, to inflame her desire.

Time went by and the room grew steamy
But she just grew more tired and dreamy
Until she slept, as if sedated,
And I sat there sadly, hot but deflated.

While colds are known for bodily emissions
(And I still doubt them caused by cold conditions)
If you really want a liquid exchange,
I suggest the heating in the temperate range.

© J Cosmo Newbery

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

CLXXXXVb - Taken with Relish, a second time.


In my previous post, Southlakesmom suggested my problem was using
'hors d'oeuvre' instead of the more common 'finger food'. Well, she may be right.
I would need different rhymes to make it work, though.
In the end, no joy, it took 3 extra characters.

Taken with Relish #2

Her fruits and her veggies were stewed
But her fantasies verged on the lewd.
She had sex on the brain,
Dreaming of entrée and main,
While foreplay was just finger food.

© J Cosmo Newbery

Monday, May 17, 2010

CLXXXXVa - Taken with Relish.


Susan, at Stoney River has a micro-fiction challenge where you must
write a short story in 140 characters or less. I failed the challenge,
assuming that I must count spaces, but liked the result anyway.
The prompt was the picture, above.

Taken with Relish

A woman, who loved to preserve,
Was known for her lack of reserve.
She would swap some pickle
For a slap and a tickle;
And thought foreplay was just a hors d'oeuvre.

© J Cosmo Newbery

Sunday, May 02, 2010

CLXXXXIV - Mixed Nuts


One Minute Writer had a topic "Nuts"
This leaves plenty of scope as there are a number of meanings...


“Nut” is a multi-purpose English word
In a language full of ambiguities;
No-one’s sure how this occurred
But it gives lots of poetic opportunities.


Mixed Nuts

Peanuts are an odd little nugget
A ground grower, not a tree-er;
Roasted with some salt to hug it,
They’re perfect with a beer.

A coconut’s home is up a palm,
Not even a nut, it’s a seed instead;
It can do no end of harm
Should it drop upon your head.

To throw more confusion to the troops,
Some nuts are really just pretenders,
Not nuts at all, their really drupes,
Cashews and almonds, the main offenders.

Some relationships are quite skewed,
Some work while others strut.
No-one really wants to be screwed,
But is a bolt complete without a nut?

Male squirrels have them, squirreled away
To protect them from the frost,
I wonder if they use some other name
To prevent them from getting lost?

And then of course there are the ones,
The vicar sees; coming to seek repenters.
He finds them naked, poking fun;
He should knock before he enters.

There: nuts and how to store’em.
I’ve skate on thin ice, I fear,
Some may wish for more decorum.
My response, of course, is ‘Nuts to that idea’.

© J Cosmo Newbery