Notes on a Serviette: August 2017

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

1153 - Not Windsor, Hangman

If men can run the world,

why can't they stop wearing neckties?

How intelligent is it to start the day

by tying a little noose around your neck?

Linda Ellerbee

Not Windsor, Hangman.

Tie it how you will,

In knots of all descriptions—

It’s still just a rag.

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1152 - Drawing Stumps

I delayed my father's funeral because of cricket.
- Virat Kohli

Drawing stumps.

The game is over.
It’s time to take off the bails
And close the innings.
.
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© J Cosmo Newbery 2017
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Tuesday, August 29, 2017

1151 - The Bigger Problem

Haiku Horizons prompt: Safe.

“Politicians were mostly people who'd had too little

morals and ethics to stay lawyers.”

― George R.R. Martin.

The Bigger Problem

Idiots in charge

And feathering their own nests—

How can we be safe?

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Monday, August 28, 2017

1150 - The Luxurious Treadmill

The Luxurious Treadmill

We have what we need.

We can chase after extra

But at what expense?

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1149 - Decision Deferred

Decision Deferred

Rather than decide—

Just ask for some more data;

A coward’s response

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1148 - Misaligned

Misaligned

A story of love

Gets back an outburst of hate

And it breaks the heart.

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Sunday, August 27, 2017

1147 - Modern Slavery

Modern Slavery

Beneath the smart suit

And behind all of the gold

You find slavery.

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1146 - Friendless

Friendless.

I don’t understand—

Why is there no compassion?

Why is it so hard?

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1145 - The Enlightenment.

The Enlightenment.

You may mock science,

Observation and reason,

But the truth is light.

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1144 - Vale Tim

Vale Tim
1955 - 2017

We come from the stars.

After a brief blaze of light

We return to them.

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Saturday, August 26, 2017

1143 - The Damage is Don

Solar Eclipse, 2017.

The Damage is Don

There was an old dildo called Don,

Who refused to have sunglasses on.

The sun’s rays then fried

Whatever was inside

But no-one could tell it was gone.

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Friday, August 25, 2017

1142 - Life

Life

The cart moves forward

We are just the worried dog

Tied onto the back.

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1141 - Gossips

Gossips

The clacking of tongues—

People are going to talk.

It’s not your concern.

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1140 - Traditions

Traditions

Traditional ways

Suited traditional times.

We have now moved on.

They can be improved—

They suited their times back then

We don’t live back then.

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1139 - Plebiscite

Plebiscite

An offensive thought—

That I vote someone equal.

It’s not mine to give

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1138 - The mare, the merrier.

The mare, the merrier.

Two ladies were passionately embraced,

Though somewhat awkwardly placed:

They pursued their affair

On the back of a mare

So nothing was done in haste.

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Thursday, August 24, 2017

1137 - O Fortuna!

O Fortuna

Fortune gives. And takes.

Inner values are the rocks

In the tides of life.

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1136 - Crash Test Dummy

Crash Test Dummy

A young girl slept, as if sedated,

For reasons implied but unstated.

It appears she was smashed

When her computer crashed

And both of her airbags inflated.

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Wednesday, August 23, 2017

1135 - Self-Interest

Self-Interest

To have persuasion—

Remember the basic rule:

Self interest wins.

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1134 - Bottled

Bottled

The Millennials are quite a strange band,

With water bottles always at hand.

Perhaps it’s excessive talking

And texting while walking

Or perhaps it’s just part of their brand.

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1133 - Knows the Ropes

Knows the Ropes

A woman was feeling quite bored

And so joined in a game with a cord.

She became so besotted

With being tied up and knotted

She won a macramé award.

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Tuesday, August 22, 2017

1132 - Small Fry

Small Fry

It is all small stuff—

At work, at home and at ease.

Everyday stuff.

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1131 - Logical Decision

Logical Decision

Science sees the world.

Religion governs the world.

Choose logic, not might.

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1130 - The tines they are a-changing.

The tines they are a-changing.

Some differences—

They’re not reconcilable;

Best go our own ways.

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1129 - Given the choice.

Given the choice.

You say what sounds good.

Your actions belie your words.

I believe actions.

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1128 - Standing Proud

Standing Proud

A woman who was decidedly cute,

Was wearing the flag as a suit.

Her breasts were displayed

When the anthem was played

So her nipples could stand and salute.

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Monday, August 21, 2017

1127 - Best to Wait

Best to Wait

The future will come—

You can worry in advance.

Or you can just wait.

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1126 - Something to Reflect On?

Something to Reflect On?

You create the problem

And then weep over your lot.

No-one else to blame.

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1125 - Good Rowing Argonauts!

Good Rowing Argonauts!

A lady with no connection to Greece,

Complained of the absence of peace

From all Jason’s cohorts,

(Those sneaky Argonauts),

In search of the Golden Fleece.

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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

1124 - No News Here

No News Here

So many toxins—

Things, creatures, even people.

Learn what to avoid.

Murdoch is the worst—

Just selling fear and loathing,

A poisonous trade.

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1123 - Regular Check-Up

Regular Check-Up

The auditors come:

Clipboards, pens and post-it notes,

Keeping us honest.

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1122 - Schadenfreude

Having mocked his opponents for their troubles...

Schadenfreude

But surely you checked?

So critical of others—

That’s a bit sloppy!

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1121 - Away from the heat.

Away from the heat.

A lady while cooking some meat,

Wore an apron, less than discreet.

She didn’t seem to mind

That it exposed her behind

As she kept it away from the heat.

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Monday, August 14, 2017

1196 - Kim

Kim

There was a young despot named Kim

Who’d never attended a gym.

And to divert all the stares

At his weirdly cut hairs,

He developed a bomb, on a whim.

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1200 - Impressions

Impressions

The Heidelberg School

Painters from a gentler time—

That’s the Impression.

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1199 - And Johnny did too.

And Johnny did too.

Not Australian?

Oh Barnaby, how could you?

Pistol & Boo laugh.

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1198 - Local Tourist

Local Tourist

A tourist at large—

We view thing in our own town

With visitor’s eyes.

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1197 - Pole Position

Pole Position

A woman had fashioned from pine

A dildo that managed to combine

The width she desired

With a length that inspired

Pole-vaulters to steal the design.

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1195 - If you don't remove the rot...

If you don't remove the rot...

White supremacists—

Woodworm in its foundations,

America’s shame.

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1194 - Circus in Town

Circus in Town

Where are our leaders?

Where is their vision for us?

A bloody circus.

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1193 - Poor Value for Money

Poor Value for Money

Called a plebiscite!

So why were they elected?

Not earning their pay.

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1192 - The Astrophysicist

The Astrophysicist

Staring down voodoo;

Pointing the finger of scorn

At superstitions.

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1191 - Once a Knight

Once a Knight

A woman who itched for a fight,

Donned the outfit of a knight.

Her desire was so great

She forgot the breast plate

And was duly impaled on the night.

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1190 - Humanity

Humanity

On a Melbourne street

An old, homeless man, sitting,

Doing a crossword.

Why is it like this?

Is this who we have become?

I leave some money.

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1189 - Poor Starving Darlings

Poor Starving Darlings

At movies and plays

They only go for two hours:

Why must people eat?

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1188 - Like a Cuban

Like a Cuban

Sitting on the Porch

For family discussions—

Just like Cuba.

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1187 - Le Snag Dog.

Le Snag Dog.

Are French Sausage Dogs

Chien de Charcuterie?

Where are the poodles?

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1186 - Marble Halls

Marble Halls

A marbled bathroom.

It feels a little Roman

But is far from it.

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1185 - OMG

OMG!

The Old Melbourne Goal

Victorian punishment.

No padded cells here.

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1184 - Justifiable Homicide

Justifiable Homicide

When told of a woman who 'blows',

Men queued at her door, in droves.

Their wives were less thrilled

And had them all killed

And buried in orderly rows.

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