857 - The Stalker

Three Word Wednesday requires participants

to use the three words of the week in a composition.

The words this week are: melancholy, opaque and nimble.

The Stalker

[The Boy]

As I embrace my pirate dream

With galleons, swords and lots of gold,

The world is simply what it seems

What I see today, the future holds.

[Chorus]

A trusting lad,

A trusting lad,

He thinks that what he sees today

Is like the sword that’s set in stone

And it always will remain that way,

Always will remain that way.

[Youth]

I know it all and I’m not scared,

I think that I am worldly-wise,

Immortal and so quite prepared,

To dance across Death’s sweeping scythe!

[Chorus]

With nimble feet,

With nimble feet,

He’s hop across the swinging blade,

But should he hap to trip and fall 

He’ll be sliced and diced and then filleted,

Sliced and diced and then filleted.

[Man]

Sure I know that life must end,

But no idea when it will be,

So I just live and so pretend

It will somehow bypass me!

[Chorus]

It’s quite opaque,

It’s quite opaque,

The future is so far from clear;

All that we can know for sure

Is that Death is grinning ear to ear,

Death is grinning ear to ear.

[Old Man]

The melancholy fact has dawned,

The sand is draining through the glass,

That of which I had been warned

Relentlessly now has come to pass.

[Chorus]

Relentlessly,

Relentlessly,

The future is a ball of twine,

Tangled and of unknown length…

[J Cosmo Newbery]

Oh, give me strength and pass the wine!

[Chorus]

Give him strength and pass the wine!

◊◊◊

Alternative ending for Rallentanda

[Old Greek Man]
With a four day stubble that celebrates
A serious session with fine ouzo;
Who gives a damn!  Smash the plates!
When your time is up, then youse go!

[Chorus]
A smashing time!
A smashing time!
Retsina is just recycled pine
Only for the rash or brave…

[JCN]
Um, pinot noir will be just fine!

[Chorus]

Pinot noir will be just fine!

.

---

© J Cosmo Newbery 2016

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787 - Drama Queen

Drama Queen

(to the tune of Dancing Queen - Abba)

You can flounce, you can pout, always having your nose put out,

See that show, watch that scene, mocking the poor Drama Queen.

Every night and the swoons are fake

Looking for some offence to take

It doesn’t matter what they say, interpret it the other way,

You come to create an affray

Anyone can cop that flack

If they don’t protect their back

With a few mocking words, sarcastic too

You have your sights upon your prey 

With any sense they will slip away…

You’re the Drama Queen, ruddy faced, like a tangerine

Drama Queen, feel the heat of your venting spleen,

You can flounce, you can pout, always having your nose put out,

See that show, watch that scene, mocking the poor Drama Queen.

You’re a teaser, then turn on them

Leave them stinging with your venom

Looking out for another, anyone will do

You have your sights upon your prey 

With any sense they will slip away…

You’re the Drama Queen, ruddy faced, like a tangerine

Drama Queen, feel the heat of your venting spleen,

You can flounce, you can pout, always having your nose put out,

See that show, watch that scene, mocking the poor Drama Queen.

[fade]

 .

---

© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

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659 : The Treadmill

Sunday Whirl (Wordle #142) presents a list of words

that we must incorporate in a writing piece.  

The words this week are:

bit, might, behind, spare, caress, sky,

save, expect, pair, struck, scarlet, first.

Sunday Scribblings 2 provided the topic:

"A road that leads nowhere".

The Treadmill

Come sit with me and rest a bit

Beneath the evening sky

And ponder what might be true

And what to save, and why.

Refrain

If we do not share

If we are not there

If we do not care

Does it really matter

Where the road is leading?

As the sky retreats to a scarlet streak

And stars caress the night,

Let us discuss the love behind

Our creations of delight.

Refrain.

What you expect is an unmatched pair, 

Seldom reflecting what you find

On the road that’s going nowhere,

On the treadmill of your mind.

Refrain.

Spare a thought for those driven types

Who struck out for the top;

The answer was much nearer home

But first they had to stop.

Refrain.

Come sit with me and rest a bit

Beneath the evening sky

And ponder what might be true

And what to save, and why.

.

---

© J Cosmo Newbery 2014

---

608 : Can you hear the children cry?

Lolamouse at "Imaginary Garden with Real Toads" invites us to write

in response to one of the inkblots that she put up. 

This one made me think of Syria and the US's headlong rush to bomb the Syrian people,

to punish them for being bombed by their own government.

No, I don't understand it either.

Sung to the tune of 

"Do you hear the people sing?" 

from Les Miserables.

Can you hear the children cry?

Chorus

Can you hear the children cry?

Feel the terror in their hearts?

It’s the horror of a war

And the suffering it imparts. 

When the dropping of the bombs

Matters more than who they kill

You’ve gone and lost the plot

As well as all goodwill.

What do you think you’re doing

With your democratic zeal?

Why do you blindly follow

The war-machine’s big wheel?

The killing of the fathers

Makes the sons take up the steel.

Chorus

Can you hear the children cry?

Feel the terror in their hearts?

It’s the horror of a war

And the suffering it imparts. 

When the dropping of the bombs

Matters more than who they kill

You’ve gone and lost the plot

As well as all goodwill.

You cannot make them love you

With your bombs and endless fear.

You have never learnt the lesson

And think force a panacea:

For every child you massacre

Six fighters will appear.

Chorus

Can you hear the children cry?

Feel the terror in their hearts?

It’s the horror of a war

And the suffering it imparts. 

When the dropping of the bombs

Matters more than who they kill

You’ve gone and lost the plot

As well as all goodwill.

.

---

© J Cosmo Newbery 2013

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CDLV - Interstellar Cuckoos

I was chastened for writing too ‘deeply’ in my first attempt at 3WW’s

prompt this week, using the words ‘drab’, ‘pulsate’ and ‘tendril’.

So here is an extremely shallow response.

Premises:

1. Two of the words,  pulsate and tendril, have a real Hentai Cartoon feel to them.

2. A high proportion of (US) people think they have been abducted by aliens.

3. There are a disproportionate number of lawyers on the planet. 

Interstellar Cuckoos

The spacecraft hovered in the sky

And was invisible to the unaided eye,

It was on a mission through space

To propagate their race

Before their home planet could die.

Could die,

Before their home planet could die.

The crew scanned the houses for guests,

For breeding stock meeting their tests.

And these alien platoonists,

Like Asian cartoonists,

Favoured the ones with big breasts.

Big breasts,

Favoured the ones with big breasts.

In a drab little house out of town

Slept a woman in a pretty nightgown;

She was sweet and demure

And her dreams were most pure

When the spacecraft settled on down.

On down,

When the spacecraft settled on down.

Her nightie was pink and hand made,

And well suited to an innocent maid.

She also worn briefs

In the mistaken belief

That they kept the marauders away.

Away,

That they kept the marauders away.

They carried her off to the ship

Where she awoke in an alien grip.

When she demanded to know

Why they were treating her so,

They just leered, with the odd slimey drip.

Slimey drip,

They just leered, with the odd slimey drip.

Nine tentacles slowly undressed her,

While others just roughly caressed her.

As each made a move

On her feminine groove,

The others restrained and suppressed her.

Suppressed her,

The others restrained and suppressed her.

The tempo of the assault just increased

And reached its climactic release.

Once the pulsating was through 

And the tendrils withdrew

She was carrying the spawn of the beasts.

The beasts,

She was carrying the spawn of the beasts.

They removed all trace from her brain,

Before returning her home once again.

She awoke the next morn

With her nightie all torn

And covered with green slimey stains.

Slimey stains.

And covered with green slimey stains.

She couldn’t recall what they did,

So was surprised to be carrying a kid.

While she thought it quite odd

She assumed it from God

But developed an aversion to squid.

To Squid,

She developed an aversion to squid.

Nine months after the aliens first saw her

She gave birth to a small baby lawyer,

The net human worth

Of the population of earth

Was unchanged and the planet the poorer.

The poorer,

Was unchanged and the planet the poorer.

---

© J Cosmo Newbery 2013

---

CDXLIX - The Good Life

It’s Australia Day.  Time for a parody.

The Good Life

(To the tune of “Botany Bay”)

Throw chops on the barbie this evening,

Crack open a stubby of beer,

Some sauce will do as a salad,

And the neighbours will quickly appear.

Chorus

Singing white bread, fried onions and sausages

Singing white bread, fried onions and chops

Singing white bread, fried onions and sausages

Ah, the good life, it just never stops.

There’s the missus, as is our companion,

There’s the dog and a moggie or two,

There’s the kids from over the neighbourhood

Who appear at a good barbeque.

Chorus

‘Taint eating a tossed salad we cares about,

‘Taint one of our diet’ry habits,

‘Cause green’s not really a food colour

For anything other than rabbits.

Chorus

Now all you young wankers and wowsers,

Who dine on the cuisine nouveau,

Who whine that a barbies too common,

Well, youse know where you can all go.

Chorus.

---

© J Cosmo Newbery 2013

---

CCCLXIX - Infinitely Diluted Nonsense

.

I was horrified to learn that the new Secretary of Health

 in the UK believes in homeopathy.

It's like having a Treasurer who believes in the Tooth Fairy.

Infinitely Diluted Nonsense

Nonsense appears in many forms
Ranging from the silly to the weird.
But few come close to the stupidity
With which homeopathy is revered.

Chorus
Just one fact is for sure
One that annoys,
One that irks:
Homeopathy is a magic cure!
The less you use it, 
The more it works.

First you decide what caused your ills
And then dilute it, using all due care:
Ten-fold, ten-fold and ten-fold again:
Until statistically it’s not even there.

Chorus

Coffee keeps you awake at night
So a little will have you snoozing;
And if you’re mugged in the street
A gentle tap will cure the bruising.

Chorus

Ipecac Syrup makes you chuck
So, diluted, calms your stomach down;
And if you are feeling a bit depressed
They’ll administer a little frown.

Chorus

But homeopaths are canny folk
And would not think it funny
If you were to pay your bill
With infinitely diluted money.
.

---



© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery

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CCCLXIII - These are a few of my favorite things.

.

Carry On Tuesday has provided the line "These are a few of my favorite things"

from The Sound of Music and asked us to run with it, in our own way.  Well, here goes:

The Politician

Party-room deals and passing new laws,
Kissing small babies and knocking on doors,
Marginal seats with positive swings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the shit hits
When the poll swings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

◊◊◊

The Media

Gathering gossip and crafting a tale
Hacking a phone and rifling the mail
Misleading stories that pull on heart-strings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the sales fall
When the boss rings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

◊◊◊

The Average Bloke

An afternoon barbie and a woman half bare
Footie on the telly and asleep in a chair
Long weekends where I don’t do a thing
These are a few of my favorite things

When the rain comes
When the boss rings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

◊◊◊

The Minister

Promising them heaven or eternal hellfire
Dressing in gowns and small boys from the choir
Low genuflecting and the kissing of rings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the flock leave
When the cops ring
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

.

---



© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery

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CCCLIX - The Dinner

.

Magpie Tales has the above photo as a prompt.

The Dinner

The table was set in a formal array

They sat together in a remote sort of way.

“Nice forks” she said “I do like a nice fork”.

But if he heard her he didn’t show it.

Chorus
Poor, poor lady, what’s she going to do?
She burns with a fire
Of passionate desire
But the message is not getting through,
Getting through,
The message is not getting through.

Protocol said she could not speak her mind

This left her tied in an emotional bind.

“Nice roll” she said “I do like a nice roll”.

But if he heard her he didn’t show it.

Chorus

Asparagus was served in a sauce Hollandaise

It did little to help relieve her malaise.

“Nice stalks” she said “I do like a nice stalk”.

But if he heard her he didn’t show it.

Chorus

Then came a roast with gravy and crackling

It failed to easy the emotions she was tackling.

“Nice pork” she said “I do like a nice pork”.

But if he heard her he didn’t show it.

Chorus

The butler place the dessert on the table

And passed her a note, to meet in the stable.

“Nice trifle” she said “I do like a nice trifle”.

But if he heard her he didn’t show it.

Chorus

Her cheeks had developed a rosy bloom

She said goodnight and slipped from the room.

“Nice butler” she said “I do like a nice butler”.

But if he heard her he didn’t show it.

.

---



© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery

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CCCVII - The Ring of Steel

This grew out of a conversation that I had with a friend and colleague.

It started out reflecting on body ornamentation.  The last two verses are a nod to the fact

that many people go about their lives quietly, not revealing that they too

have things that pierce them, away from public view;

pain, responsibility, disappointment.

Any resemblance to anyone, living or dead, is purely coincidental.


The Ring of Steel

He dresses neatly for the business day,
Conservatively so, but without a tie.
Anyone watching him would have to say
He was perfectly mannered, if somewhat shy.

Chorus
We know so little about each other:
Partners, parents, neighbours, lovers.
Only with time will you finally discover
That a book does not reflect its cover.

He does his job, he knows what to do
In the pantomime of work, he plays his part.
But beneath his clothes and out of view
A secret is kept, close to his heart.

Chorus

Oblivious to it when he’s sitting still
He never thinks of it while he’s talking.
But it gives him a secret and sensuous thrill
As it swings to and fro when walking.

Chorus

If you didn’t know, you wouldn’t know,
And there’s some comfort in that fact.
But in the end it just goes to show
That people are often putting on an act.

Chorus

But not every secret is a pleasurable one,
Some conceal quite desperate lives;
Briefly forgotten while their work is done
They get some respite, from nine to five.

Chorus

Perhaps they’re ashamed or perhaps too proud,
Perhaps they don’t know how to start
To describe what's hidden from the crowd,
What steel rings they have beside their heart.

Chorus
---



© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery

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CCLXXXVI - The Company Man

Sung to the tune of Monty Python's Lumberjack Song.
Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.  

As is often the case, this poem did not end up where it was heading when it started out.


The Company Man.

Middle Manager

I’m a Company Man and a cliché,

I play the game and I bank my pay.

Typist's Chorus

He’s a Company Man and a cliché,

He plays the game and he banks his pay.

Middle Manager

I write emails.  I wear a suit.

I sport the company tie.

I always agree with my manager

And never question why.

Typist's Chorus

He writes emails.  He wears a suit.

He sports the company tie.

He always agrees with his manager

And never questions why.

Middle Manager

I write emails.  I criticize.

I claim the moral heights.

I love to rattle cages

Then sit and watch the fights.

Typist's Chorus

He writes emails.  He criticizes.

He claims the moral heights.

He loves to rattle cages

Then sit and watch the fights.

Middle Manager

I write emails.  I check Facebook.

I gossip with my mates.

I listen to the typists

Discuss their weekend dates.

Typist's Chorus

He write emails.  He checks Facebook.

He gossip with his mates.

He listens to the typists

Discuss our weekend dates. [Doubts in their voices…]

Middle Manager

I write emails.  I offer help.

I give advice for free

I feel it kindly guidance

And then they turned on me.

Typist's Chorus

He wrote emails.  He crossed the line.

He said we were not slim

He then ogled at our cleavage

That’s why we turned on him.

He wrote emails.  He crossed the line.

He never should have done it.

We cornered him one afternoon

And the heartless bastard won it.

We cornered him one after-n-o-o-o-o-n

And the heartless bastard won it.

.

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© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery

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CCLXX - It's déjà vu all over again.

.

Best wishes for the New Year.

It’s déjà vu all over again.

And so we end another year
Whether we’ve advanced is far from clear
While most things were not as we feared,
It’s déjà vu all over again.

Chorus

Don’t you worry, it’s all the same;
History plays repetitive games.
Study the past, it’s very clear
What was past will reappear
With the same story, just different names,
Different names,
With the same story, just different names,

The Arabs had their cliché-ed springs
The Iraqis saw what democracy brings,
And Egypt on a knife edge swings,
It’s déjà vu all over again.

Chorus

Climate Change a political stone,
While storms and floods have only grown
The establishment prefers not to know
It’s déjà vu all over again.

Chorus

Royal weddings kept the media frisky,
News Limited tactics were more than risky,
And Kim Jong-il has forsaken whiskey
It’s déjà vu all over again.

Chorus

An enemy of the state was eliminated,
A computer guru was venerated
And the Japanese were irradiated
It’s déjà vu all over again.

Chorus

So what will we see in the year ahead?
Who will survive, who will be dead?
Can’t but praise the guy who said:
It’s déjà vu all over again.

Chorus

---



© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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CCXXXI - The Green Grassy Patch

.

The Green Grassy Patch

The forests are a shady and welcoming place
With glens and secretive clearings.
The green velvet looks
Of these grass-filled nooks
Make the woods all the more endearing,
Endearing,
Make the woods all the more endearing.

Deep in these woods, the birds would sing
Songs of the eggs they would hatch.
They would twitter above as
Some lust filled lovers
Looked for the perfect patch
Perfect patch
As they looked for the perfect patch.

They found a clearing away from the path,
Where no-one they felt would pass.
All that was left
When they redressed
Was an imprint of her bum in the grass,
In the grass,
Was in imprint of her bum in the grass.

Now, the birds of course had seen it before
This couple were far from the first.
But they sensed in the duet
That an egg had been set
They swelled with a pride that could burst
Could burst,
Swelled with a pride that could burst.

---
© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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CCXXV - The Mahdi's Socks

.

The Mahdi’s Socks


There was a Mahdi who ruled in Khartoum,
And had a cushion in the middle of the room,
From here he would command
Vast tracts of his land
And did it quite well, I assume.

Chorus
Scimitars swing, like scimitars do,
Slicing infidels, two by two,
Khartoum high street, the fields of Sudan,
The people all shout “the Mahdi’s our man”.

Foreign armies he knew how to handle
And ruled with an absence of scandals
But he caused regular dismay
To the press of the day
By wearing socks as well as his sandals.

Chorus

He was a fighter and answered that calling,
And the British received quite a mauling.
But as Gordon had said
Before losing his head,
(Pucker) He knows how to fight but his style is quite appalling.

Chorus

But while victories kept upping his stocks
The people still worshiped his socks,
“We prefer battle glory
To a social page story;
We don’t care if his fashion sense shocks..

Chorus.

---
© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

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CCXIV - The Judas Goat

.

A friend and colleague has recently been told that he will be made redundant. But not yet.
In the mean time he must do nothing to startle the flock, keeping them happy and productive.

A ‘Judas Goat’ is a goat used at abattoirs to lead the sheep calmly to their death.

The Judas Goat

The Boss
I have to say, I’m sad to relate
We’re moving your job interstate.
But don’t feel sad or even blue,
Other will go as well as you.
Now, please go keep the place in order
Until we move across the border.

Chorus
He’s a Judas Goat and he has a way
Of making sheep think he’s okay.
He keeps them calm,
He soothes their nerves
And sees they’re fed and watered.
Then he takes his little flock of sheep
And leads them to be slaughtered.

The Boss
Please hang on, don’t run away
We need you to make the others stay.
We don’t want them making tracks
Until we’re ready to swing the axe.
And just to show you have our backing
We let you do the nasty sacking.

Chorus
He’s a Judas Goat and he has a way
Of making sheep think he’s okay.
He keeps them calm,
He soothes their nerves
And sees they’re fed and watered.
Then he takes his little flock of sheep
And leads them to be slaughtered.

The Boss
To try to make the whole thing fun
We’ll give you a bonus when it’s done.
Calling it ‘thirty pieces’ is rather rough,
We know redundancy can be tough,
We just want to show you that we care…

...you want me to put my money where?

---
© 2011 J Cosmo Newbery

---

CLXXX - Mrs Whippy

.

One Minute Writer had a topic described thus:
"Kids get so excited when the ice cream truck comes into the neighborhood.
What kind of delivery truck would make adults line up in excitement?"


Mrs Whippy

Mr Whippy vans around the world
Attract Children to their frozen creams;
But Mrs Whippy, with her whip unfurled,
Attracts the men to live their dreams.

Chorus
The women may frown, pretending hurt,
They know where their men are to be found:
Queuing to get their sweet dessert,
When Mrs Whippy’s van comes around.

With her lash that flails and cracks,
She gives them moments to reminisce;
As she raises welts across their backs
Then sends them home to domestic bliss.

Chorus.

Mrs Whippy fills a great social need,
Doing what the little women would rather not.
For an hour the men are her mighty steed,
To be ridden and whipped and quickly forgot.

Chorus

All the men of the town enjoy her treats,
Even the saintly vicar is not excepted.
She doesn’t care who she beats
And all major credit cards are accepted.

Chorus


---
© J Cosmo Newbery
---

CLXXVII - The Ides of March

.

The Ides of March

Beware the Ides of March
Said the sayer of sooth;
Sitting mystically, aromatically,
Within her spiritual booth.

Chorus
I can read the future;
I can tell of coming romance;
I can milk for all you’re worth
If given half a chance.

I know all about your past,
That nasty moment in the water,
The number two figures closely,
And the time you stole a quarter.

Chorus

Your favourite flower is a rose
(Or maybe a lily, the image’s blurred).
And someone with the initial M
Is most sorry for what occurred.

Chorus

I sense you are quite tidy
But sometimes make a mess;
That you have a secret longing
For a job that has less stress.

Chorus

Now, show me your hand:
“My, my, your life-line splits in three!
It shows the generous nature
Of someone who likes to give! (whispered) To me.”

Chorus

---
© J Cosmo Newbery
---

◊◊◊

For strangers to this site, there is something of a joust going on between a number of knightly gentlemen (or otherwise) and demure , sweet and coy ladies. See the link to Sir Percy's Silly Poetry Competition in the side bar.

CLXXI - The Basic Joys of Villainy

.

Ah, Percy, Percy, Percy. You are all bluster and wind.
Below I present a duet based on the work of those wonder men, Lerner & Lowe.

The Basic Joys of Villainy

Sung by pure and lovely women like Julie Andrews,
Dianne, Ms Tripathy, Lorraine, Cherylann, Kate...
.Where are the simple joys of maidenhood?
Where are all those adoring daring boys?
Where's the knight pining so for me
he leaps to death in woe for me?
Oh where are a maiden's simple joys?

Sung by that blackguard and virgin, Sir Percy...

Where are the basic joys of villainy?
Where are all those busty, willing girls?
Where's the girl shining so for me
She splays her legs, says go for me
Oh, where are the villain's basic joys?

Shan't I have the normal life a maiden should?
Shall I never be rescued in the wood?
Shall two knights never tilt for me
and let their blood be spilt for me?
Oh where are the simple joys of maidenhood?

Shan't I have the normal life a villain should?
Shall I never take a maiden in the wood?
Shall maidens never flirt with me
And let my juices spurt from me?
Oh, where are the basic joys of villainy?

Shall I not be on a pedestal,
Worshipped and competed for?
Not be carried off, or better st'll,
Cause a little war?
Where are the simple joys of maidenhood?

Shall I throw her on a feather bed,
Remove her bodice and her fines?
Have my evil way with her, or better still
Do it several times?
Where are the basic joys of villainy?

Are those sweet, gentle pleasures gone for good?
Shall a feud not begin for me?
Shall kith not kill their kin for me?
Oh where are the trivial joys?
Harmless, convivial joys?
Where are the simple joys of maidenhood?

Why are these carnal pleasures still unfelt?
As my codpiece swells with lust in me
Will some maiden bare her bust for me?
Oh, I promise once it's done
I'll ride into the sun
Happy with the notch upon my belt.

---
© Lerner & Lowe
---

---
© J Cosmo Newbery
---

◊◊◊

For strangers to this site, there is something of a joust going on between a number of knightly gentlemen (or otherwise) and demure , sweet and coy ladies. See the link to Sir Percy's Silly Poetry Competition in the side bar.


...

CLIX - The Gift

.

The Gift

It's time to write that wretched list
Of people deserving of a gift.
Failure in this crucial task
Is a social death, cold and swift.

Chorus
Wrap those boxes, gifts and glitter
Paper, ribbon, fancy bows.
'Tis the time we must be givin'
Junk to folk we hardly know.

There's Mabel, Joyce and little Betty
But what of Peter, Jenny and their kind?
I know last year they gave us nothing
But what if this year, they change their mind?

Chorus

But wait! Who's coming up the path?
Aren't they from across the way?
Quick, wrap this can of biscuits
While I calmly pass the time of day.

Chorus

Oh-oh, here comes Ruth with an enormous box
Something expensive, no doubt imported.
Panic sweeps us, what should we do?
All we have is some milk assorted.

Chorus

The precious offerings are handed over
And we all obligingly coo and trill.
Our duties done and fences mended
Until the arrival of the fateful bill.

Chorus

Giving gifts can give great pleasure
Correctly done, they can be a hit.
But that 'gift' is the German word for poison
Doesn't surprise me one little bit.

Chorus

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© J Cosmo Newbery
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CXXXXVI - The Lord's Prayer

.

I opted to have a go at Mama's Losin' It's writing assignment from last week.
Well, sort of. Her prompt was "I don't believe in prayer because...".
I decided to take a look at this from God's point of view.
Naturally, it would be a musical.

There is also a shadow of Monty Python's Lumberjack song in the chorus.

The Lord's Prayer

I’m God! I amaze! I positively astound!
I created the heavens, the sky and the ground.
I’m omnipotent
With an intelligence quotient
That you can’t get your mind around.

Chorus
He’s a diety and he knows best
He loves his flock and smites the rest.
He has a beard,
A flowing robe,
And the patience that it takes.
He’s the ruler of the Universe
And he never makes mistakes.

I’m God! I’m King! I created mankind.
I’m the sweetest diety that you’ll ever find.
I’m Jehovah! I’m Allah!
I’m a really nice fella,
The sun shines out of my...well, nevermind.

Chorus

I’m God! I’m smart! I have global vision.
I’m CEO of the angelic division.
But by the end of the day
There’s junk in my tray,
Requesting I change my decisions.

Chorus.

I’m God! I’m tough! I know how to win.
But your lack of trust gets under my skin.
You've a habit of praying,
Over blindly obeying,
And the novelty’s wearing a bit thin.

Chorus.

I’m God! I’m mean. I’ve a hairy chest.
Junk mail irritates and gets me stressed,
Be very careful
When you send me a prayer full
I may just grant you what you request.

Chorus.

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© J Cosmo Newbery
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