While looking for an illustration for my previous post on screens, I found this one.Entitled "Smoke Screen 1958" it cries out for a limerick. I have three...
A yellow frocked lady from Stoke
Flavoured her vagina with smoke.
"It's feminine trickery,
I recommend hickory
If you want to attract a good bloke."
(Does this make it a 'hickory dickery dock'?)
◊◊◊
A yellow frocked lady from Belize,
Raised her clothing high over her knees
Then she stood very still
In front of the grill
In order to drive away fleas.
◊◊◊
A yellow frocked lady from Blake
Had a barbecue down by the lake;
While the meat went brown
She raised up her gown
As her husband liked sauce with his steak.
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© J Cosmo Newbery
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I believe it would be a 'hickory dockery dick'... but since that doesn't rhyme, we'll go with yours.
ReplyDeleteI can go with hickory dickery dock.
ReplyDeleteWho said you weren't ready for the limerick contest?
yikes!
ReplyDelete♥
in order to make the heart symbol on a mac type ..... plushearts; ....
but use the plus symbol for hearts
I thought we were in for reruns of "Leave it to Beaver".
ReplyDeletewell, stirring your drink,
ReplyDeletea hickory daquri stick stink
might make it tasty
no sense to ask me,
Though, because I no longer 'clink'.
But the gal with the fleas?
It's probably true enough, if you please,
We once had an old cat
who itching in the smoke sat,
I guess it's good to get'm off pussies?
While the first sounds intriguing, quite...
The last seemed a bit of spite
alas, the fellow
was probably not mellow.
But, I'de still prefer Dr. Pepper, make it a (diet)
♥ Foam
ReplyDeleteThank you for an education.
Hickory Dickery Dock... definitely my favorite. Loved the trickery/hickory rhyme. You're so fresh!!
ReplyDeleteHa! *snort*
ReplyDeleteLove it! Especially the last one. Very, um, saucy.
ReplyDeleteHey, it's late, give me a break.
Thanks for stopping by my blog - I'll be visiting you again!
OK, what about...
ReplyDeleteThere once was a girl from Venezia
Who would work very hard just to please ya
She'd hoist up her skirt
She knew well how to flirt
And the boys would go weak at the kneezia
lol sorrrrrry!!!
Maybe this is where Burger King got the idea for their "Flame" perfume?
ReplyDeletewow.. you do limericks too?!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love the first one, made me squimish on the last two but with a smile!
ReplyDeleteoh dear, I hope I haven't goofed
ReplyDeletewhen someone else's limericks I spoofed
The rhyme wasn't the same
as the usual game
but, I wondered later if I should have proofed....
(she wrote them AABBB
instead of AABBA)
You are so funny! I love these ... and what a saucy little picture! Can see why it inspired you! And you stayed true to the dirty little side of the limerick form! YAY!
ReplyDeleteAnd noot often you see "vagina" in a poem.
Excellent limericks...you've put the beginnings of an idea in my head. I'll be back when it is finished.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog also, was surprising to see you are from down under...it's a small world sometimes hmm?
Okay..here we go.
ReplyDeleteThere was a young lady named Venus
With her grilling she was quite famous,
"Of steaks I am fond,
And my chicken is gourmand,
But my favorite of course is roast penis.
I admit, not as good as yours but in the same 'flavor'? lol
There was a man once that was bawdy
ReplyDeleteDid his craft without seeming gawdy
Yellow frocks if you please
Please tell me they tweeze
Sending smoke signals up to their totties.
I don't have any more modifiers to describe how much I enjoy your poetry and your sense of humor. Humor is the #1 attribute in my book.
ReplyDeletenumberonesistah: Lovely! But I don't think I should take credit for putting that idea into your head!
ReplyDeleteJust hilarious in a very risque kind of way!
ReplyDeleteOh, dear. :) Those were funny.
ReplyDeleteYou must have a huge brain to find all of this inside your head! Where does it come from??
ReplyDeleteDan
Too funny! I like the first one better. The third one cracked me up though...sauce. By the way I've noticed you comments on other blogs...you are very funny, witty, rude and all that good stuff. (Rude in a good way!)
ReplyDelete