XXXVII - He's got a little list.

.

Mama's Losin' It had a writing assignment last week. I chose to do the poetry option (of course, that's the only option I choose) but one of her other options was 'Ten Pet Peeves'. Since then I haven't managed to get the song "As some day it may happen" from the Mikado from my head. So I modified the song a little. There may be more that ten peeves.

For those of your not familiar with The Mikado,
KoKo, who sings this song, needs to find someone to execute.

He's Got A Little List

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There’s people when you’re worried who say to ‘just relax’
All the bloggers who ambush you with their wretched music tracks
All gossipers and slanderers; sordid, vile and grubby
All women who insist on calling husbands ‘hubby’
And all the gentle souls who think that ghosts exist
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

CHORUS

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.


There’s people with religion, who think they know the truth
And the radical feminist — I've got her on the list!
And the people who are rude and needlessly uncouth,
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who claims, in a manner unoriginal
Though even only a sixty-fourth, he’s really Aboriginal
And men who think they’re not a man unless they have a gun
And people who always see the gloom and never see the sun
And that singular anomaly, the televangelist —
I don't think he'd be missed — I'm sure he'd not he missed!

CHORUS

He's got him on the list — he's got him on the list;
And I don't think he'll be missed — I'm sure he'll not be missed!


And that most annoying nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The rabid Monarchist — I've got him on the list!
And men who spend their idle hours bitching ‘bout their wife —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed.
And the Opposition politician, with never a good word
But with righteous indignation after everything’s occurred
And the tradesmen that you waited for but never ever showed
And the people who drive four wheel drives but never leave the road
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

CHORUS

You may put 'em on the list — you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed!

[Exeunt CHORUS]

---

© J Cosmo Newbery

---

Apologies to W.S. Gilbert.

Print this post