Sunday, February 21, 2010

Interlude - The Shroud of Tureen


Some of you may remember a poetry challenge of some years ago. The prize was the 'hand' (figuratively, of course) of the fair Mayden. The competition was won by a late and able entry, the dark horse-dog, K9.

My entry can be found here but to get the full taste of the competition you need to start here and move towards the conclusion.

Now, the as was Percy Bysshe Silly has reappeared, re-badged, as Percy Bisque Silley; all cheek and bravado, he has launched a Silly Poetry Competition.

Who is this soupy usurper? What is his story? Who knows. The bisque is a worry, implying a thick yet creamy (Dare I say unctuous? Yes.) foe.

Should I compete? Probably not, but most probably will.

By way of a ladle taster, here is a poem, slightly risque from the Bisque:

Bad, Bad Percy Brown
By Percy Bisque Silley

I walked a tightrope tambourine,
A Davy Jones at play;
I flirted gamely with the beat
As Ladies swooned in splay.

O splaysome Ladies, woe, for Shame!
You make me blush and stammer –
Although tis true in London-Towne
They know Me as The Hammer.

Which received my light rebuke in the comments:

A poet, one Percy Bisque Silley,
Was seriously proud of his willy.
But when he asked a young maid
If she would like to be splayed
The reception was decidedly chilly.

So, as you can see, the the bar is starting very low.



Having been chastised by Percy for not capitalising "willy", I added the following:

There was worry on the face of the gal.
Percy was quick her doubts to dispel:
"It's to do with the cold
With warmth it'll unfold"
She blushed and just murmured "Capital".
... Print this post


  1. Oh dear. Will you never learn?

  2. J Cosmo dear, you cannot spend all of your time propping up a bar just hoping for a quiet life ... you are an accomplished poet, you can rise to the challenge, good luck my friend. xo ♡

  3. so pleased to see you haven't lost your, ummmm, errrrr..... touch.

  4. ha ha! Glad to see that you are keeping to your standards of high quality! ;-)

  5. Sir Lee: Yes, in those days, young, hot-blooded, I think both in our early fifties, we had the explosive power of Youth.

    Today we have the steady eyes and steely nerves of Experience.

    However, I much Fear that that mangy K9 cur shall see this Post. Still, thank ye for referencing the Competition.

    If the Dog enters he may again prove a crowd-pleaser, tho' he be Stylistically unworthy of fetching my Frisbee.

    O Vile Cur!

    In Courageous Consternation,

    Sir Percival

  6. I am thinking that you are being the manly personage to be completing this job. You are being the pillock of the society that is needing muchly pillocks of your stature.

    May Valencia, the nimble fingered Goddess of Belly-Button Fluff bless your endeavours.

  7. Master! Don't do it! I implore you!

  8. Hang on! Did Percy call me 'surly'?

  9. Dianne: Thank you. Can I depend on your vote, come the count?

    Foam: Yes, that's what it is all about. Can I depend on your vote, come the count?

    RDG: No-one has ever disputed that I an 'touched'. Can I depend on your vote, come the count?

    Lady Fi: Thank you. Can I depend on your vote, come the count?

    Sir Percy: Don't rile the dog. Can I depend on your vote, come the count? No, I suppose not.

    Princess: Thank you. I think. Can I depend on your vote, come the count?

    Sancho: And I know if I'll only be true
    To this glorious quest
    That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
    When I'm laid to my rest.
    You WILL vote for me.

    Lee: Sounded like it. Can I depend on your vote, come the count?

  10. I give in, Sancho has convinced me that you are, after all, the most worthy to run where the brave dare not go.

  11. Oh Hell you're fun, a fine competing gentleman poet you are, I am aghast and very very pleased- je veux dire 'pissed' tres, tres pissed!

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  13. My gracious, that is most uncivil, Sir Percy. Appalling behaviour for a knight to even consider such a question. To talk of donning armour as a feint to trying to dislodge it would appall even the Marquis of Queensberry. This is a most unsettling turn of events and I must reconsider my position.

  14. Feisty, aren't you? How long does this williness go on?

  15. You can count on my vote gallant knight Sir Cosmo, that comment from Sir Percy must have been appalling if you had to delete it.
    Has he challenged you to a joust?

    xoxo ♡

  16. I too pause long in thought while pondering knightly Distinctions of Taste with regard to limericks on size vs. function, leafing through my copy of Knights of the Round Table and seeking some precedent in the discourses of Arthur and Lancelot.

  17. Fear not master. The lowly vassal obviously had poor schooling in social etiquette. Come, I know where where is a good windmill...

  18. Lorraine: Your pissed pleasure is perhaps enough to draw me back into battle with this couthless vassal.

    Sophia: There is more to it than length.

    Dianne: You are a darling, thank you.

    Sir Percy: There is no precedent to your perfidy, scurvy dog!

    Sancho: Have you fed the horses?

  19. Lady Dianne: It is really not so uncommon for Knights at Joust to jest about Codpieces. I know not what all the fuss is about.

    As for you, openly stating that you intend to cast thy Vote not on the merits - tis deeply shocking to Our sensibilities.

  20. So is this 'game on'?

  21. Oh dear knight,Sir Cosmo, maybe I am not so much of a darling, for Sir Percy has called upon me and so has castigated me and insulted me for the unfairness and impulsiveness of my taking your side before the day of the jousting match.
    Therefore in all fairness I shall be judging you both on the day on the merits of your individual performances ... fear not my dear friend for I shall judge in all fairness with the heart of a maid who is honest and true. xo ♡

  22. Dianne, this even handedness is all very well when dispensing sweets to small children at the harvest festival but this is war, there is no room for equivocation!

    Mind you, I will consider presenting you his ears. or one of them, I think i have promised one or two to someone else as well.

  23. NOT diapers I sayeth in little voice!


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Take your time, look around,
There is lots to see.