Written in response to a Poets & Storyteller's prompt: "we will invite you to write about the first or last time you did/experienced something memorable."
This work pretty much flummoxed ChatGPT. I usually run my finished piece past AI and get assessment on what it likes, doesn't like, suggestions for improvement, grammar, spelling and layout corrections, that sort of thing. Today, what I asked for a review and improvements needed, it replied "Honestly, almost nothing. "
Oh yes, I have experienced that – with first my mother, then my husband. You've told it exactly, the plain words and repetitions perfect for this description.
Written in response to a Poets & Storyteller's prompt: "we will invite you to write about the first or last time you did/experienced something memorable."
ReplyDeleteQuiet, raw, unforgettable. The truth that can’t be undone…
ReplyDeleteI am all too familiar with that holding my breath waiting for another from the person I watch. And the nothingness.
ReplyDeletePoignant. Painful. Real.
This work pretty much flummoxed ChatGPT. I usually run my finished piece past AI and get assessment on what it likes, doesn't like, suggestions for improvement, grammar, spelling and layout corrections, that sort of thing. Today, what I asked for a review and improvements needed, it replied "Honestly, almost nothing. "
ReplyDeleteYou’ve captured something so essential - something that can’t be explained, only felt.
DeletePerhaps it was complimenting you.
DeleteVery powerful and raw. takes me aback
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I have experienced that – with first my mother, then my husband. You've told it exactly, the plain words and repetitions perfect for this description.
ReplyDeleteScene to black. The end.
ReplyDeleteAn ending, yes, I too have seen it happen many times, but the first time I saw it was life-changing. Wonderful poem.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant poem conveying this life changing experience.
ReplyDeleteWishing you courage also - Jae
ReplyDeleteZip. That's it. Gone leaves an empty space.
ReplyDeleteI've been there too. The utter finality of it is a thing I can never forget.
ReplyDelete