Thursday, July 26, 2012

CCCXLV - The XXX Olympiad

This will be a progressive poem,
with verses added to as the games progress.


The Games of the Thirtieth Olympiad.

Prologue

We’re just two days out from the start
Of the thirtieth Olympic campaign;
And Londoner’s, if they are smart,
Have rented their homes and gone to Spain.

The media pack are an enormous throng
But, bored with waiting for things to begin
Speculate on what things may go wrong
Or how many gold ‘their’ team will win.

The facilities, they wail, are incomplete,
The athletes are packing ‘too much belly’,
The taps are dripping, the food too sweet,
Quick!  Rush the scoop onto the telly!

One day to go, the suspense is growing,
Boris offers to sacrifice a worm, to stop the rain,
The torch goes to Buck House for a showing,
Strikes are on. And off.  And maybe on again.

A minor diplomatic brouhaha ensued
When North Korea was wrongly flagged,
But when they played, two goals accrued,
(It seems the defence zigged instead of zagged.)

The Opening Ceremony

The opening ceremony was full of glitz,
A theatre we’ve come to expect;
Woven together from historical bits,
Clichéd, but done to good effect.

Lizzie was there, with Mr Bond,
Dropped from above the din;
The entry of the teams dragged on and on,
I wish they too could be parachuted in.

The Games


Day One and the media still attacks
Swimmers and the body shape they’re gaining
But, perversely, then goes on to use Big Macs
As a measure of energy used in training.

Was Page 1 used for the opening of the Games?
For the kick-off of this festival of sports?
No, the lead was a swimmer, who strongly proclaims
“I’m not remotely interested in you ‘fat’ reports.”

A Letter to the Editor, boldly put and insisting
That the games stop wars, with sports replacing gun:
Looking at the recent casualty listings
The replacement is not a very effective one.

The Daily Refrain

The sports proper are underway at last
Favourites slump: outsiders grab the prize;
This is not how the script was cast
The media lament the nation’s demise.

Told to worship the new “heroes” of our tribe
(Though “idols” would be a better rendition)
The media produces reams of diatribe
And editorials demanding Royal Commissions.

Meanwhile, the competitors on the field
Struggle gamely towards a personal best.
A few will cheat and try to chemically yield
Results that can sneak past the doping test.

Sponsors are lurking in the wings,
To stand in the limelight of the winners,
Paying them to endorse all sorts of things
From electric socks to frozen TV dinners.

Repeat 17 times.

Halfway Update

Halfway through the wretched folderol
And my predictions are coming true;
The media is demanding heads to roll
Because we keep coming in at only two.

Seven billion people on this planet
And a silver for second is not enough;
The media weep, forgetting that they began it.
My unsympathetic response is ‘tough!”.

The Finish Line Approaches.

Thankfully we enter the last weekend,
A marketing marathon where everything sells.
The media now laments the money we spend
To "buy" each of our precious metals.

Prior, they had listed the 'guaranteed' gold,
But "we" Australians have managed but a fraction.
But win or lose, the athletes put me to shame,
As I slept through most of the action.

"We are only tenth, someone must be sacked"
Cry the headlines from the tabloid sleaze,
But they find some warm solace in the fact
That we did a little better than the Kiwis.

The Closing Ceremony

It was a giant ad for the UK brand
While endorsement deals were pocketed;
A fuzzy feeling spread across the land
And fireworks usage skyrocketed.

The media pack followed the ‘golden’ few,
With a brief and fawning largesse;
Ignoring those who were equally due:
But only had silver or less.

Epilogue

The stands are empty, the pack moved on,
The murmurs that Rio will fail have begun;
The stories of ‘Olympic heroics’ have gone
And the football returned to page one.
..
---


© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery
---


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25 comments:

  1. Waiting for the Olympics :-)

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  2. I'm guessing we will see too little sports action, and hear too much banal reportage. Sadly.

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  3. LOL! London is ready and geared up... was there last week and it was already packed.

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  4. oh dear .... does this mean we'll be reading about it on your blog - in verse ??

    xxx

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  5. I'm already sick of it.

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  6. Oh, this is going to be fun!

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  7. I am still recovering from 'La Tour de France'. :)
    xoxoxo ♡

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  8. Megathanks for rejecting the hero tag.

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  9. I am back to read and appreciate this in its entirety. A great summation of the games, which I am ashamed to say mostly slipped by me. Positively unAustralian behaviour.

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  10. Apart from the bizarre ceremonies, which I slept through most of, I thought it was great. The BBC coverage exceptional and the atmosphere in town uplifting.
    Now the beeb is back to its usual dross of left-over 'celebrities' and repeats of repeats of repeats. LE TdF could be on all day and every day and I'd still watch it :-)
    Horses for courses obviously.
    Good to rant though.

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  11. The whole poem is brilliant!

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  12. "The Party's over, it's time to call it a day." Or so they say. Time to strike the set and move on to the next whatever.

    Peace and joy.

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  13. J Cosmo, brilliant!! Loved every verse. This needs to be published somewhere...right before the next Olympics. (LOL)

    Our (American)football season here is revving up to start. I am VERY excited about that.

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  14. Calm Mary...calm....

    (Your comment went into spam again - don't know what you have done to annoy Blogger so much.)

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  15. Great social commentary. I for one didn't watch any of the Olympics. They don't really interest me much.

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  16. This commentary is much more interesting than the Olympics was this time

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  17. My favorite line: Repeat 17 times.
    It felt that way, to me. And, I don't know about in other countries, but here in the US the commentators on TV were awful. By halfway through I hated the sound of their voices.

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  18. Lol

    I caught the opening ceremony and a few of the sports. Really did think the athletes entrance was wayyyy too long. Enjoyed the bits I did see, and the closing ceremony too.
    Very witty read JCosmo

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  19. I guess we all have something to say about the oddness of the opening ceremonies--but really a great social commentary! (your piece--not the ceremony!)

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  20. I'm glad I wasn't over that way. Nice Write

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  21. afraid i missed seeing "Lizzie" & Bond, James Bond though of course i heard about it on the local news.

    you should get a gold for your verses ~ much more entertaining than the media coverage!

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  22. Cos, this was BRILL! You skewered them all, including Her Uptightness, who looked as though she was behind on eating the Royal Prunes. "Only" silver just gets me. I'm America but root for all the countries who never medal, as well as the host country. (I will always be thankful to Australia's games for teaching me the term "coin slot" for a guy's butt crack!!) The US and China always hog the medals and it burns me. This was, stem to stern, wonderful commentary... and yes, now London has yet another big venue that may host a few football games... or... yawn... What the HELL was up with the Rio bit in the closing ceremonies? What a fiasco. Thank God for Eric Idle, though... Look what a rant you inspired! Peace, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/08/20/three-hymns-naming-constellations/

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  23. Brilliantly done Cosmo! A complete round off from beginning to end most faithfully followed. There were very good coverage of all sports. Missed seeing some but otherwise it was ok. Your witty take nailed it through.

    Hank

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  24. And I progressed to here! Do I have to go all the way back again?

    Well done...again and as usual! :)

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