Monday, July 09, 2012

CCCXXX - Occupational Skills



Mad Kane has a regular limerick challenge.
She provides the first line, the rest is up to us.

A butcher was proud of his skill
And the number of sausages he’d fill
He was eventually arrested
When his sausages were tested
And found their meat content was nil.

A dentist was proud of his skill
With probes and high pressure drill,
With his precision flossing,
And his peppermint washing,
But mostly he was proud of his bill.

A chemist was proud of his skill
To dispense both potion and pill.
But it was all a great lurk,
The stuff didn’t work:
It was the price that made you feel ill.

A weightlifter was proud of his skill
But at night wore dresses of twill,
Along with stocking and pearls,
He went out with the girls,
In search of somebody to thrill.

A bootlegger was proud of his skill
And would daily spit-polish his still.
But he had to regret
That he lit a cigarette
And his body blown over the hill.

A cyclist was proud of his skill
But was popping prohibited pills.
When positively swabbed,
“I’m sorry” he sobbed,
But from there he kept going downhill.

A harlot was proud of her skill
With men who have dreams to fulfill.
“Their wives have stopped heeding
Their base carnal pleading,
So they are happy to find someone who will.”
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© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery
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12 comments:

  1. OMG! you've gone to overdrive! : )

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  2. As always, I'm amazed at how much you manage to do out of a prompt, and these are all wonderful, including the ones in the post below!

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  3. I have to go to the dentist tomorrow, so that second one really had me laughing!

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  4. Absolutely fantastic...You are a wordsmith of the highest order!

    PLU from SSF

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  5. Just tell me one thing: Do you dream in limerick form? Do you find yourself rhyming at the most inopportune moments ??? Do you ever have one of those dreams where all you can do is answer people in rhyming couplets???

    call me insubordinately curious...
    xxx

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  6. I hear you about dentists!! They're vultures.

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  7. The insubordinately curious RDG: No, limericks can keep me awake but I don't dream in them once asleep.

    Couplets can keep me awake too.

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  8. Where is the bit about the limerick-writer?

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  9. LOL!

    You had me at dentist and bill!

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  10. You're quite good at this!

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