CCCXXX - Occupational Skills

Mad Kane has a regular limerick challenge.

She provides the first line, the rest is up to us.

A butcher was proud of his skill
And the number of sausages he’d fill
He was eventually arrested
When his sausages were tested
And found their meat content was nil.

A dentist was proud of his skill
With probes and high pressure drill,
With his precision flossing,
And his peppermint washing,
But mostly he was proud of his bill.

A chemist was proud of his skill
To dispense both potion and pill.
But it was all a great lurk,
The stuff didn’t work:
It was the price that made you feel ill.

A weightlifter was proud of his skill
But at night wore dresses of twill,
Along with stocking and pearls,
He went out with the girls,
In search of somebody to thrill.

A bootlegger was proud of his skill
And would daily spit-polish his still.
But he had to regret
That he lit a cigarette
And his body blown over the hill.

A cyclist was proud of his skill
But was popping prohibited pills.
When positively swabbed,
“I’m sorry” he sobbed,
But from there he kept going downhill.

A harlot was proud of her skill
With men who have dreams to fulfill.
“Their wives have stopped heeding
Their base carnal pleading,
So they are happy to find someone who will.”
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© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery

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