The Gift
It's time to write that wretched list
Of people deserving of a gift.
Failure in this crucial task
Is a social death, cold and swift.
Chorus
Wrap those boxes, gifts and glitter
Paper, ribbon, fancy bows.
'Tis the time we must be givin'
Junk to folk we hardly know.
There's Mabel, Joyce and little Betty
But what of Peter, Jenny and their kind?
I know last year they gave us nothing
But what if this year, they change their mind?
Chorus
But wait! Who's coming up the path?
Aren't they from across the way?
Quick, wrap this can of biscuits
While I calmly pass the time of day.
Chorus
Oh-oh, here comes Ruth with an enormous box
Something expensive, no doubt imported.
Panic sweeps us, what should we do?
All we have is some milk assorted.
Chorus
The precious offerings are handed over
And we all obligingly coo and trill.
Our duties done and fences mended
Until the arrival of the fateful bill.
Chorus
Giving gifts can give great pleasure
Correctly done, they can be a hit.
But that 'gift' is the German word for poison
Doesn't surprise me one little bit.
It's time to write that wretched list
Of people deserving of a gift.
Failure in this crucial task
Is a social death, cold and swift.
Chorus
Wrap those boxes, gifts and glitter
Paper, ribbon, fancy bows.
'Tis the time we must be givin'
Junk to folk we hardly know.
There's Mabel, Joyce and little Betty
But what of Peter, Jenny and their kind?
I know last year they gave us nothing
But what if this year, they change their mind?
Chorus
But wait! Who's coming up the path?
Aren't they from across the way?
Quick, wrap this can of biscuits
While I calmly pass the time of day.
Chorus
Oh-oh, here comes Ruth with an enormous box
Something expensive, no doubt imported.
Panic sweeps us, what should we do?
All we have is some milk assorted.
Chorus
The precious offerings are handed over
And we all obligingly coo and trill.
Our duties done and fences mended
Until the arrival of the fateful bill.
Chorus
Giving gifts can give great pleasure
Correctly done, they can be a hit.
But that 'gift' is the German word for poison
Doesn't surprise me one little bit.
Chorus
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© J Cosmo Newbery
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© J Cosmo Newbery
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Merry Christmas to all and to all an interesting plight!
ReplyDeleteAt least I didn't have to pun no-L like some we know.
Enjoy the season.
Merry Christmas dear J Cosmo and your loved ones. ♡
ReplyDeleteI can barely write, I'm laughing too hard! This ain't butter light, this here's real lard!
ReplyDeleteWhat a merry lil tune, and I joined right in a'singing! Out there dancin' under the moon, ( the dogs kikt me out, their ears a'stingin')
fantastic
ReplyDeletea happy holiday to you and yours
Wow!! This is awesome!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could hear you sing this!!
:)
Merry merry christmas!!!!
p.s: I am back online again!!
:)
Poison?! Excellent!! lol....
ReplyDeletewell done :)
✫✫✫ MERRY CHRISTMAS ✫✫✫
ReplyDelete(Or GRUMPY, if you wish.)
Ho ho ho! Love this poem... Gift in Swedish means poison or married! (Sure this says a lot...)
ReplyDeleteOh no, does this mean I will have to give away my Chocolate biscuits when the neighbours visit!
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas x Blu x
You are really a very clever poet dear J Cosmo, this one here is very good, the dilemma of gift giving and who we might have forgotten...
ReplyDeletestrange that 'gift'is the German word for poison.
Thank you for your lovely wishes, I'm sorry that mine did not seem so enthusiastic this morning, they were however meant with sincerity.
Not much merriment going on here today, you see I have been in hospital with heart problems,all will be OK if I take care of myself, I came home last night so I have had a day of quiet and rest...and I have had a great present today for it has been raining for most of the day, very thankful for the rain and to he home.
Merry Christmas dear J Cosmo, I hope you have had a wonderful day with family and friends and I wish you all the best for the New Year, mostly happiness and good health for it is so important. xo ♡
Merry Merry Christmas, JC!
ReplyDeletethere's still 20 minutes left in our christmas day ..
ReplyDeleteso, merry christmas!
... and thanks for the gift of your poetry .. :)
With a list so apt and fun you must be thrilled your work is done. :)
ReplyDelete