To the tune of "God rest ye merry gentlemen" I give you:
Mischief and Fun
Why do you have such hairy legs?
You really should be shorn.
Whenever you are nearby
My wicked heart is torn
By lusting for the naked bits
Of you that are not fawn.
O bearer of mischief and joy,
Mischief and joy,
O bearer of mischief and joy.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery
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Mischief and Fun
Why do you have such hairy legs?
You really should be shorn.
Whenever you are nearby
My wicked heart is torn
By lusting for the naked bits
Of you that are not fawn.
O bearer of mischief and joy,
Mischief and joy,
O bearer of mischief and joy.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery
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Well, that version would make the wretched supermarket carols more bearable. Can I sing it aloud?
ReplyDeleteAs long as you sing
ReplyDelete---
© J Cosmo Newbery
---
as well.
I shall use this with good cheer this year!
ReplyDeletePerv ;)
ReplyDeleteBut it's way better than those stupid "Christmas Shoes" and "Jesus Take the Wheel" songs!
I'm not sure
ReplyDeleteIs a shaver really the cure?
Why not give in, give a yield,
and enjoy what you can from a full field?
Draw a luxurious bubble bath and lure her in. Shave her legs for her.
ReplyDeleteSlowly and carefully.
I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
;-)
HA!
ReplyDeleteWill you?
d=))
uh....
ReplyDeletePlease nevermind, dear
It doesn't matter when you're near
But the advice given maybe lacking...
I think if tried, may get some slapping.
no slapping from me, love.
ReplyDeletejust a bit of sloshing in the tub.
d;-)
well, then I'll bring a razor with me...
ReplyDeleteuh-oh...there's the rub
Hang on a minute. Who's in the bath with who here?
ReplyDeleteI get the distinct feeling I am missing out on something smooth and sloshy.
oops!
ReplyDeleteHon, I think we may be in the wrong house...
Uh, sorry, Mr. Newbery...uh, we kind'a got caught up in the moment..
d=)) d:-)
we'll just slip out this way...
(sounds of four wet, naked feet running off into the distance)
where's my towel??!
ReplyDeleteGot it, babe.
ReplyDeleteHurry up now...Mr. Newbery has guests...
Is that the Prime Minister?
(click click, squeaky door opens, boneman peeks around it)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, nice song, sir!
(door closes, bare feet run off into the mist of blogland)
Hey! There's a soap and stubble ring in my bath!
ReplyDeletethe soap would be me
ReplyDeletethe stubble, perhaps she?
I couldn't really say.
(and maybe shouldn't if I again want to play)
But shall just clean both. How would that be?
Cute poem J Cosmo, you are a cheeky fellow. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't shave
yet my legs are hair-free
smooth and silky
that's how all girls should be
and I can think of more fun
things to do in the bath
if someone
would care to join me... ♡
I think I am going to have to put in a hot tub.
ReplyDeleteOh my - I really must wax my legs! ;-)
ReplyDeleteFrisky fun... you're full of it, J Cosmo. Good luck with the hot tub. You can have mine if you want it. ;)
ReplyDeleteJ...If you are checking in now and then...I just wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas down there! I hope 2010 is a banner year for you.
ReplyDeleteDan