Thursday, January 26, 2012

My Barbie (repost)


Australian poet, Dorothea Mackellar, wrote the poem "My Country".
It is something of an Australian icon and most Australians know a bit of it,
especially the line that reads "I love a sunburnt country".

I wrote this two years ago but I really like it so I am putting it up again.
Australia Day, 2012.

My Barbie

The love of stew and couscous
Of rice and sushi-ed fish;
Or orange sauce with duckling
May be your favourite dish.
Strong love of stir-fried chicken
Noodles or gourmet pies -
I know but cannot share it
My love is otherwise.

I love a gas-fired barbie
With tongs and forks and things,
To carbonise some lamb chops
Or steaks and onion rings.
I love her cast iron hot-plate
I love her spacious grill,
For family or for parties,
My barbie fits the bill.

Standing tall with manly pride,
(Clutching a beer, of course)
You char-grill anything that walks
Then top it off with sauce.
It doesn't matter what you cook,
Snags or chops or game,
Dose them well with tomato sauce
And they all will taste the same.

Core of my heart, my barbie!
She shows that I'm a man
Who can do his share of housework,
Drinking lager from a can.
When the little woman's fuming
At the mess around the bath,
I can stick my manly chest out
And boast I do my half.

Core of my heart, my barbie!
I polish you like gold
The centre of my manhood
To cherish and to hold.
Under the plastic awning
Beside the wheelie bin
You are my pride and joy,
I gaze at you and grin.

A twelve ring gas fired barbie
Is a vision truly grand! -
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand –
A kitchen holds many splendours,
With rice cookers and woks
But I know my gas-fired barbie
Can incinerate an ox.

© 2010 J Cosmo Newbery
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  1. I love it. Yes, there's nothing better than standing around a BBQ. Almost better than eating what comes off it. Happy Australia Day!

  2. I'll be around. Wine or beer?

  3. I hope you are doing the cooking for Oz day! Have a good one.

  4. Happy Australia Day. I have such pleasant memories of Australia. I so love Sydney. I did the Bridge Walk one year and have a t-shirt and cap to prove it. I have a wonderful friend in Hobart. I'd return in a heartbeat. I enjoyed your poem, but you know when i first read the title I thought it was going to be about a "Barbie doll." Such is my mind. You sound like my son-in-law with his grill. I consider him a grill artist!

  5. LOL - that is brilliant!

    have you heard Dorothea's poem in song?

  6. While I burn the meat, er indoors will make salad for those wusses who eat it. Real men need meat and that is the man's department.

    Recognise this piece. Quite close to many, many homes today.

  7. Brillliant! Does it work to the tune of Australia Fair?

  8. LOL, Cosmo - love the poem. I confess, too, that I originally thought you were writing about a Barbie Doll .... and thoughts of strange fetishes crossed my mine - BUT ONLY BRIEFLY! Happy Aussie Day.


  9. I am a late-comer to your Barbie... I hope there's enough meat for me left over. Wonderful poem, deserving of wider press. Congratulations!


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