Sunday, October 28, 2012

CCCXCV - Taurus, of course.

Taurus, of course.

All the stars except, oddly, the closest,
Will, I'm told, impact on our daily grind.
While the universe is an amazing place:
Is this really how it was designed?

Why should some distant lump of rock,
Or flaming star in the vast abyss,
Influence the choices of my life:
What to eat, where to work or who to kiss?

The followers of this pseudo science
At best are vague and ooze crackpottery:
And I’ve yet to see that banner headline:
“Astrologer wins the national lottery!”

I foolishly answered an email once
And now get regular, teasing billet doux:
“I know your future” the emails say
“Pay me money and I’ll share it with you!”

(Not to be confused which those Russian ladies
Who email they too will reveal all, for a reward)
It appears my psychic lady is not receiving 
My message that I consider that she’s a fraud.

As I see the papers print the daily horoscopes,
I can’t but sit and idly wonder:
If astrology has an ounce of truth:
What sign are all the sceptics born under?

© J Cosmo Newbery 2012

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  1. Quite a thought-provoking piece. I loved your style, word play and the rhymes. These lines, in particular, made me laugh :

    And I’ve yet to see that banner headline:
    “Astrologer wins the national lottery!”

    Loved it. :)

  2. "Crackpottery", of course...but it can be fun at times...particularly when one reads the predictions of others...only to find they resemble one's own...just with a few words altered here and there!

    Thanks for sharing, Cosmo. :)

  3. Skeptics were born under the sign "Maternity Ward."

    If it's related to Taurus, I'd expect a lot of bull. But you are better than that, J.C.

    1. I was born under the sign "Gunther's Bar & Grill".

      The title answers the question.

  4. I think horoscopes are a load of rubbish, but I once read the characteristic traits of myself, and other family members, in an astrology book and they were surprisingly accurate. I wouldn't base any life decisions on it though :)

    1. No they weren't. They were surprisingly vaguely approximately sort of kind of familiar. Ish. :-)

  5. Know what you mean! It sometimes takes all my resolve not to launch into a scientific debate when someone says they are a typical Leo, Gemini whatever.
    The trouble is, I am a typical Virgo!

  6. I know, and I agree. But I still read my horoscope. Which is not the behaviour of a rational being. Sigh.

  7. I agree with you! Don't understand how anyone can take horoscopes seriously!


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