Thursday, August 01, 2013

593 : Describing the Moment


We Write Poems challenges us to capture a moment.

Describing the Moment.

Eyes closed, 
Sitting at my desk
Leaning on my elbows
I feel the pressure 
Pressure of contact,
With the desk, 
With my chair, 
With the carpet.
I am vaguely aware
Of the weight on my shoulders,
Cable knit, dark blue.
I hear the world around me.
The hum of the hard-drive
Voices from the next room
Canned laughter,
Spoons hit plates,
The low rumble of the heating.
Outside — the passing traffic.
My feet have adapted to the feel the carpet.  
I move them ever so slightly 
And countless nerves betray my action.
The brain likes movement.
Time to walk.

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© J Cosmo Newbery 2013
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19 comments:

  1. Sitting still is no good. I agree.

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  2. Don't let it bring you down babe!

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  3. I envision someone trying to recover from an injury of the body or of the heart, while life/the world charges along with or without.

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  4. This reminds me of my office...time to get up and walk ~

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  5. I resemble this...often.

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  6. Oh, Jonquil, cease and desist your torment.

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  7. Very sensitive portrayal of the moment. Every nerve, every sensation, every thought, every feeling reported. Really enjoyed it Jonquil :)

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  8. One never gets to describe the moment. At best, one provides a reasonable approximation. Which you have done very well.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!
    desert.epiphanies@sasktel.net
    67valkyrie@gmail.com
    Bears Noting
    Life in the Urban Forest (poetry)

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  9. Haha, I feel the carpet too.

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  10. I feel the moment and move my feet in time with those in the poem. It's fun to be the outside listener, secure in our own space, thoughts and feelings. And then, as you say, it is time to move to paper, to stir the blood and ease the achy bones.

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  11. Even sitting still can evoke lots of pressure. Go for a walk! Rightly so! Excellent write Cosmo!

    Hank

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  12. Playing by the observation...keen one too

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  13. Wonderful observation, and important - you're present...and then movement so in contrast with present now being in past...

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  14. ah, brain dead at the desk...been there too many times

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  15. Loved the weight on your shoulders being simply the cable knit sweater! Cos, there is something about that moment, those moments, of awareness simply of oneself... makes me believe that you were wholly in the moment, especially because of the conclusion! Cubicle madness!! Yikes. Amy

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  16. I think you capture the moment well. I liked many of the same lines as others...The weight of the sweater, well done.

    I was away...so I pulled a moment from my vacation that tickle me...
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2013/08/wwp-168-shored-up.html

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  17. There is so very much in one moment, sort of amazing when you finally stop, think about it, and then move on. Well written,

    Elizabeth

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