Mad Kane has a weekly limerick challenge.
She provides the first line rhyme word,
The rest is up to us:
A fellow was making a scene,
When partaking of nouvelle cuisine.
“The portions are so small
They’re not there at all,
You can’t even see where they’ve been.”
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A bit of a flurry of limericks in the comments section too.
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A bit of a flurry of limericks in the comments section too.
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© J Cosmo Newbery 2014
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A fellow wearing a beanie
ReplyDeleteWas a teaser addicted to blinis
Decided to go on a diet
Of oysters and stiff egg whites
Washing them down with bellinis
A fellow who wore a sarong
DeleteWhile striking a large dinner gong
Said "Saying 'grace' you must thank
That fellow from Rank;
As an appetiser never goes wrong.
Said a Spaniard, a bit of a flake,
Delete"You're making an enormous mistake!
I personally feel
The best part of the meal
Is the lady jumping out of the cake!"
A fellow who wore a sarong
DeleteGave a dinner for his friend Suzy Wong
His garb came apart
to loud sighs and some gasps
Cos they'd never seen legs quite this long
A lady came as a meal guest
DeleteAfter a suitor's request -
By the end of the night
Of culinary delight
Only the salad was dressed.
A fellow who constantly flirts,
DeleteLoved dining with women in skirts.
If they made their way through
The extended menu
They were sure to get their desserts.
a lady rushed out and bought skirts
Deleteto dine with the world's biggest flirt
she became disappointed
on discovering he was double jointed
so she left and she wasn't the first
He went to a patisserie vendor
DeleteTo buy cakes and tarts to send her.
But she wasn't the first
To receive such a burst:
He was clearly a cereal offender.
he was clearly a serial offender
Deleteand not known for his penchant for slender
so he sent them wine and boxes of tarts
to stack on the pounds thinking he was very smart
as they grew voluptuously whale like in splendour
Hmmm. I guess I'm not a fan of nouvelle cuisine. But with portions that small, what Bear would be?
ReplyDeletePeace and joy!
Haha. Good one! And that portion appears to be merely a spoonful. :)
ReplyDeleteOr feel where they've gone!
ReplyDeleteHa! Indeed!
DeleteGood one! That picture looks about right too. I dislike stacked food. I think they do it so you can't actually see the size of the meal, and it's always served on a plate the size of a truck hub-cap. Let's face it, they aren't a proper satisfying meal - they are a pose!
ReplyDeleteperhaps...
ReplyDeletea fellow was making obscene
gestures with his fat hands, seen
by all nearby as he
was getting all nasty
with what remained of the spleen ~
Yeah. Perhaps.
DeleteHa ha -so true!
ReplyDeleteh,Hmmm, we all need value for money..
ReplyDeleteApparently food limericks are blessed
ReplyDeletewhen their lyrics include hints of sex
but (given that part of the art's
to make women objects and targets)
I like your innocent one best!
Was very much the life of the party
ReplyDeleteReputation at stake to prop up easy
throw in some moves
within the oily grooves
To come up with not looking messy
Hank
Laughing, this was great.
ReplyDeleteHilarious - I always think the same thing of those tiny artistic looking plates - where's the FOOD?
ReplyDeleteI recently sat next to a table whose occupants DEMANDED an additional plate of food because they thought the portions too small. Wild world.
ReplyDeleteWell the plate is decorated nicely anyway:-)
ReplyDeleteGreat limerick! I wrote one when I was 14 and they can be so catchy.... I still remember it!
ReplyDeleteToo funny, too true. Also must say, you have the perfect rhythm in your limerick, which is actually rather hard to achieve. Good one, Cos.
ReplyDeleteThere once was a man from Nantucket... (I know the whole thing. Remember, years playing in bars and clubs!) Amy