Dear Santa,
I know you’ve come through so oft’ before
But the time has come to ask for more.
So, let me be firm and let me be clear
World peace tops my list this year.
And the climate seems to be a mess,
Perhaps you could teach us to use less.
Remove animals out of cosmetics
And take religion out of politics.
And why not knock off the odd disease
And remove the pirates from the seas.
And stop folk cutting down our trees
And improve the quality of what's on our TVs.
And rid the streets of hoons and louts
And ban the sale of Brussels Sprouts.
But if all this is just a wish too far
I’ll happily settle for a good Pinot Noir.
Now reader, visit the comments section
To nominate your gift selection.
.
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© J Cosmo Newbery 2016
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I am thinking of the money I’ll save’ll
ReplyDeleteIf I get given a ruby, for my navel.
A ruby may be more than Santa can do
DeleteI have belly-button fluff. But it’s blue.
Oh, forget about your wishes plonky
ReplyDeleteI want to be hung, just like my donkey.
Little man, you bring on my mirth
DeleteWhy not ask to be taller than your girth?
Oh master, you malign me greatly;
DeleteHave you looked in your bathroom mirror lately?
A spanking machine, I want, I think,
ReplyDeleteTo turn my flaccid bum from white to pink.
Forgive me, I never dreamt of it paley
DeleteAnd always thought your bum was rough and scaley.
Steel dumplings blue surgical frames
ReplyDeleteChristmas boil girders and inflames.
Mechanical monster of poor invocation,
DeleteRandomly generate a new location!
The Christmas gift to make me swoon
ReplyDeleteWould be the light of a nice full moon!
Creature of the night, dark and hairy,
DeleteYou wouldn’t, or so I’ve heard, harm a canary.
Feather I find catch my throat,
DeleteI tend to favour the fatted goat.
My first thoughts were for a field of grass
ReplyDeleteBut now I keep thinking of Spanky’s arse.
Miss Moo, you really should avert your gaze,
DeleteLike your udders, she swings both ways.
My wish is for a happy and peaceful time
ReplyDeleteWhere cuddles abound and couplets rhyme.
You dreamer, you have no idea;
DeleteThe world revolves from selling scary things.
Well maybe world peace and happiness is a far cry
DeleteBut I can tackle it in an individual basis, can't I?
I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas, Lee...take care. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Lee, for your most kind wishes;
DeleteLove to visit your for dinner but worry about the dishes.
Love your selection (and echo them). My mother told me I couldn't be a vegetarian because I don't eat brussel sprouts. She was wrong.
ReplyDeleteI am hanging out for Boxing Day. The fuss is over, I can point hungry people to the fridge, and with luck I will have a new book.
I will leave you your Pinot Noir, and raise a glass of merlot. Or two.
True, I must admit to the occasional glass of merlot—
DeleteThere are more words that rhyme with noir, though.
What's wrong with brussel sprouts? :p
ReplyDeleteNo amount of cheap debatin'
DeleteWill endear me to those balls of Satan!
Oh, Santa I don't mean to tease
ReplyDeleteSome mmm mmm and mmm mmm please
Oh Martin, my little visiting poet,
DeleteYour are a tease and you well know it.
The pilot nor, definitely, to ease all the problems listed, lol.
ReplyDeletePinot Noir will surely dull the paIn
DeleteAnd then apply the cure again. And again.
I could go for some chocolate!
ReplyDeleteYou must treasure Santa's gift to all mankind:
DeleteChristmas chocolate has no colories of any kind.
I heartily agree - apart from the brussels sprouts - I eat them only once a year...
ReplyDeleteThey look rather pretty, a green and clustered crew,
DeleteBut rather than eat them, surely a photo would do?
I wish for booze to make me numb
ReplyDelete'cause world is crazy dull and dumb.
Bring on the wine, your thought has great merit.
DeleteWith the chaos that is looming, it's the only way to bear it.
If you get me free Brussels Sprouts, I will owe you, big time. I love those juicy little balls of heaven.
ReplyDeleteYour message seems to be rather mixed,
DeleteBut either way, I know it can be fixed.
Remove animals out of cosmetics
ReplyDeleteAnd take religion out of politics
Two of the worrying situations that impact on the world.
Hank
Hank, my lad, I certainly can agree with you,
DeleteIf only the issues were limited to just two.
I will eat your brussels sprouts
ReplyDeleteGiving you less reason to pout.
:) Happiness to you!
Marian, my love, you have come to rescue me!
DeleteI'l dispatch them by express post, probably COD.
But if all this is just a wish too far
ReplyDeleteI’ll happily settle for a good Pinot Noir.
Sometimes it's the little things that help us through.
A wine is a cure-all when the world is going rather mad,
DeleteAdd some cheese to nibble on and things never look so bad.
"...ban the sale of Brussels Sprouts" and cabbage. Yes, Cabbage need to go, too.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant.
It's in the way you cook them, as sautéd cabbage can attest.
DeleteFor Brussels Sprouts though, Incineration is the best.
There's a limit to what Santa can do
ReplyDeletejust settle for a bottle....or two!
I had such hopes for the fat guy's mystic powers,
DeleteBut, second best, a wine to while awayt he hours.
"Remove animals out of cosmetics
ReplyDeleteAnd take religion out of politics."
like you the above and hey! my roof's in need of repairs, got some leaks
much love...
Christmas at best is rather numbing
DeleteWithout me having to fix the plumbing.
Please convert to peace all terrorists
ReplyDeleteAnd turn the rich into philanthropists.
Sure, Christmas is the time for a wish or two
DeleteBut there are some things even Santa can't do.