Sunday, May 12, 2013

512 : Fit for Purpose

Poets United has a Mother's Day prompt.  No surprises there.

Fit for Purpose
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children she didn’t know what to do.
- Nursery Rhyme.

Part I
Where a social parasite accuses 
a mother of being a social parasite.

[Knock, knock]
Good morning, m’am, I’m from The Daily Bleating
We’d like to talk about welfare cheating;
We’ve come to give you our biased views
So we can report them on the evening news.
Now, kindly tell us which is worse—
Baby kittens or milking of the public purse?
It’s said that you didn’t know what to do
But with so many kids, and you have a few,
You must have known what would occur.
Do you have any idea who the fathers were?
No, wait, wait, don’t shut the door!
Come on, tell our viewers—are you planning more?
[Door closes]
There you go, viewers, it’s a welfare rort,
Now, across to Chuck for the weather report.

Part II
Where the children talk
to their mother on Mother’s Day.

Mother, we’ve not ever said this before
But you’ll never model for Dior;
You are getting old and have grey hair,
And you wear the daggiest underwear.
Your hands are rough and worn and stained
Your face is wrinkled and fine veined,
You repeat yourself when you are talking
And you stoop a bit when you are walking.
But having said that, let us say this:
Nothing beats your hugs and kiss!
You worked all day to see us fed
And tucked us nightly into bed.
There we lay like warm sardines
Knowing that we’d had our greens.
You helped us with mathematical divisors
And taught us not to run with scissors.
You dressed and kissed our cuts and scratches,
You taught us not to play with matches.
You hugged us all, runner-up and winner,
But forbid us swimming after dinner.
You stored away every thing we’d paint,
And still have them, though somewhat faint.
At school events, you’d jump and holler
And made us feel a million dollars.
You taught us all to shun deception
And loved us all, without exception.
In a world that’s part false and part fickle
Mother, dear, you’re the genuine article.
We should tell you this much more than yearly,
Our darling mother, we love you dearly.

© J Cosmo Newbery 2013

Print this post


  1. AnonymousMay 12, 2013

    Two perspectives - I like them both. But please, get housing onto her so she can move into a bigger shoe!

  2. I read Fit for Porpoise .... I'm having a rather dyslexic month :)


    1. To all in tents and porpoises and size 12 boots, you are right.

  3. AnonymousMay 12, 2013

    I really enjoyed the way you wrote this, it was so fun to read. Happy Mother's Day!

  4. Smile. Sadly the first social parasite feeds rather a lot of others of his/her ilk. If the 'news' parasite were to be sprayed/trodden upon perhaps they would not breed. Perhaps.

  5. AnonymousMay 12, 2013

    Ιn todаys hуpег comрetitivе and suрer busy lіfe ρeoρle aгe mοrе relying upоn Weight Loss Pills For
    Men as one hаrԁly has timе to
    eхerсise regularly and еаt healthy lοw calorie foοds everуday,
    then thаt ωould bе great. Тhe fact is, ρeople living in the Uniteԁ States and we ship international
    at low shiρpіng priсes.

    Also visit my pagе - pure green coffee extract

  6. Smiled at the grim truth of the first one; and was moved by the second one!!

  7. AnonymousMay 12, 2013

    I like the contrasts here. Well done.

  8. I adore the second one, it makes my heart soar

  9. Let's assume this is an external and internal (family) perception of the same mother. Can you imagine that?

  10. powerful contrast eh? ugh on the way media portrays and twists truth to support their own political opinion or who their sponsors are...the second one though gave a bit of redemption...smiles...

  11. This was so much fun to read, though the underwear and posture hits close to home, hee hee.I love it!

  12. I love the absurdity of it all and the spin off the nursery rhyme - very creative and maybe even a political satire sewn in there! Thanks, Happy Mom's Day!

  13. Fun...just how Mother's Day should be...for mothers everywhere.

  14. I know an old woman who lived in a shoe.
    In the summer, she moved to a sandal,
    In the winter, she moved to boot, and got laced.

    Peace and joy!

  15. loved both the pieces. It is a challenge for a single mom, not very appreciated but she still goes for the task at hand. Glad that kids know her and she would not mind anyone else!

  16. Good one............ Both are well expressed

  17. Oh, thoroughly enjoyed both of these. :)

  18. Two sides of one story - clever and fun. :)

  19. Very creative , I'm always impressed by these long pieces.
    Last line-love her dearly?

    1. AnonymousMay 20, 2013

      That is, think the last line has a typo. Should it be love her dearly?


You've come this far - thank you.
Take your time, look around,
There is lots to see.