812 - The Boat of Pigs Fiasco

Sunday Whirl (Wordle #212) presents a list of words

that we must incorporate in a writing piece.  

The words this week are:

escape, way, veins, feast, torn, broke,

generate, engine, laugh, sack, ghost, empty

The Boat of Pigs Fiasco

Incorporating The Hunting of the Nark.

An Agony in three Fits.

Fit the First.

An abbot, a bishop and a ghostly choir,

We’re crewing the ship of state.

“We are a broad and most liberal church

But give preference to our mates”.

“Only the blue blood pulses through our veins

We sup with Sterling spoons,

We piously quote from the ancient texts

And divert the State’s doubloons”

“Of course the other cheek should be turned

But some things we can't forgive—

The 'unnamed sources' mean that this ship

Is more leaky than a sieve.”

“The rabble point at us and rudely laugh.

We suspect a choirboy in the middle row

Is generating a more modern text—

That is why they mock us so.”

Fit the Second

The suspect choirboy wore his boyish grin

And often raised their ire,

“Why me?  There is a veritable feast of leaks,

Plus the pain of ‘friendly fire’.”

“Our engine’s stalled, fuel is nearly empty,

And our navigation's gone astray.

We‘ve lost our heart and all humanity,

We're a vessel in decay.”

“We’ve sacked our respected authorities,

We’ve stacked our Royal Commissions;

We’ve ignored our UN obligations

And our faithful have suspicions.”

“Your ship is sinking, taking hits both fore and aft—

So it flounders in an angry sea;

Its destination has never been divulged,

Well, certainly not to me.”

Fit the Third.

The Captain paced the tilting deck,
In Speedos and blue tie,
He already missed a near death date
But ignored the reasons why.

"We're doomed! We're doomed" the minor crew
Exclaimed like worried hens,
"There is no hope for this cursed ship,
It's the beginning of the end!

The Captain was not convinced of this:

“Come, I’m Captain, just let me steer.

I can control the steerage mob:

I’ll just ratchet up their fear”

It was a well known ploy, the choirboys were impressed.

But, committed, they could hardly scoff —

They cheered and cheered and oinked a bit

Before returning to their trough.

 .

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© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

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