Sunday, August 16, 2015

812 - The Boat of Pigs Fiasco

Sunday Whirl (Wordle #212) presents a list of words
that we must incorporate in a writing piece.  

The words this week are:

escape, way, veins, feast, torn, broke,
generate, engine, laugh, sack, ghost, empty

The Boat of Pigs Fiasco
Incorporating The Hunting of the Nark.
An Agony in three Fits.

Fit the First.
An abbot, a bishop and a ghostly choir,
We’re crewing the ship of state.
“We are a broad and most liberal church
But give preference to our mates”.

“Only the blue blood pulses through our veins
We sup with Sterling spoons,
We piously quote from the ancient texts
And divert the State’s doubloons”

“Of course the other cheek should be turned
But some things we can't forgive—
The 'unnamed sources' mean that this ship
Is more leaky than a sieve.”

“The rabble point at us and rudely laugh.
We suspect a choirboy in the middle row
Is generating a more modern text—
That is why they mock us so.”

Fit the Second
The suspect choirboy wore his boyish grin
And often raised their ire,
“Why me?  There is a veritable feast of leaks,
Plus the pain of ‘friendly fire’.”

“Our engine’s stalled, fuel is nearly empty,
And our navigation's gone astray.
We‘ve lost our heart and all humanity,
We're a vessel in decay.”

“We’ve sacked our respected authorities,
We’ve stacked our Royal Commissions;
We’ve ignored our UN obligations
And our faithful have suspicions.”

“Your ship is sinking, taking hits both fore and aft—
So it flounders in an angry sea;
Its destination has never been divulged,
Well, certainly not to me.”

Fit the Third.
The Captain paced the tilting deck,
In Speedos and blue tie,
He already missed a near death date
But ignored the reasons why.

"We're doomed! We're doomed" the minor crew
Exclaimed like worried hens,
"There is no hope for this cursed ship,
It's the beginning of the end!

The Captain was not convinced of this:
“Come, I’m Captain, just let me steer.
I can control the steerage mob:
I’ll just ratchet up their fear”

It was a well known ploy, the choirboys were impressed.
But, committed, they could hardly scoff —
They cheered and cheered and oinked a bit
Before returning to their trough.
© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

Print this post


  1. What a swine piece you've written, J.C!

  2. I hope that some week you will go back to writing fiction. Or an end to the disaster movie we are currently extras for...

  3. Such a great read! Of course I shall now have the unfortunate speedos and blue tie image in my head for the rest of the day!! :)

  4. The wizard of Oz raises his ugly head and is well illustrated in this piece. The three fits match his term of office hopefully. Australia doesn't deserve him...who does?

  5. very interesting read !

  6. Such an intriguing piece :)
    Well penned!

  7. interesting, somewhere down the end I found it really funny.

  8. Quite a sprightly commentary today!

  9. I read this as an excellent metaphor for humanity sinking,... Oh captain, oh captain...

  10. wow...such an absorbing read...

  11. The characters in the poem are representations of our current world system. The balance and control may not be achieved once no one steps up and say "I'll handle this"

  12. Ah, you have written this with deep insight, a decaying system that no longer works causing holes and a sinking ship...but, I wonder who will lead and what will be his/her true intentions?

  13. The biggest fiasco here: speedos. No one should ever, under any circumstances, wear speedos, even (or especially?) with a tie!! Such an enjoyable write :-)

  14. Loved this! I didn't know that you write fiction????

  15. LOL. "and divert the state's dubloons". Aint that the truth! The portly porkers at the public trough. So apt, "we're a vessel in decay" - whose pilots are in denial and passengers surely doomed. So ironic, and very enjoyable to read!!!!!

  16. Very well written. Your metaphor in skilled hands, lets the reader feel the lurch of a distinctly storm tossed ship as you lurch from one character to the next. Yes, the ship is sinking and we are all desperately looking for some element of hope to grab onto,


  17. I really like the first fit the best... it reminds me a bit of Melville's "Billy Budd."

  18. This is so brilliant. Love it.

  19. a rousing,seaworthy trio

  20. Our ship is rapidly sinking, and there is no captain on board or in the wings to save it. Fabulous poem.

  21. Great poem the image is really apt for many things.


You've come this far - thank you.
Take your time, look around,
There is lots to see.