817 - No Man's Land

Sunday Whirl (Wordle #213) presents a list of words

that we must incorporate in a writing piece.  

The words this week are:

lucid, wine, stain, puzzle, foreign, superior,

feckless, dumb, chiseled, hollow, luminous, winner

No Man’s Land

A foreign land men should avoid

Unless they love derision,

Is that dark hell-hole of ridicule—

Daytime television.

Why it’s watched is a puzzle itself,

Its shows are hollow spleen,

But what really does the poor men in

Are the ad breaks in between.

Here we seem some superior wife

Mocking her feckless mate

For his attempts to clean off stains

Without using Stainabate®

How could this ham-fisted semi-ape

Not know the ‘stained-tie test’

Where it was clearly shown Stainabate®

Cleaned cleaner than the rest? 

All the ads depict men the same,

As dumb and chinless wonders,

Where women sip a glass of wine

While pointing out their blunders.

The women there are all portrayed

As lucid high achievers

While the men are all unshaven clods

Who dream of beer and beavers.

No Chesty Bond® with his well chiselled chin

Will grace the screen, off-peak,

Just ways to have the best luminous lips

To sneer and still be chic.

But nowadays, when roles are blurred,

And both sexes cook the dinner,

Ad revenues are in decline

And everyone’s the winner.

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© J Cosmo Newbery 2015

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