Three Word Wednesday requires participants
to use the three words of the week in a composition.
The words this week were: eradicate, mercenary and squeamish.
The opening life was said in conversation by my mother.
Apocalypse Rat.
I love the smell of dead rat in the morning,
The tell-tale odour of a ratty demise.
The cat, bless her furry fatness,
Has long since given up mercenary ambitions
And will not countenance otherwise.
So a more mechanical means was required
To eradicate the ratty hordes
As one by one their ratty souls are hurled
Into the pits of the afterworld.
Sharp, quick and, I’m told, painless,
Though not by any of the ratty crew
Who have had to pleasure
Of the sudden launch into that vast abyss—
Of the sudden launch into that vast abyss—
They go forth with a spring-steel kiss.
Of course, there is still the sombre duty,
To deal with the furry, rigid corpse,
Not for the squeamish to be sure
But easier than those former trophies,
Half chewed by the once mercenary cat,
And left by the kitchen door.
.
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© J Cosmo Newbery 2014
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By the kitchen door? You are privileged. My partner bad mouthed the cats because he had seen a mouse in the house. Lazy and useless were two of the phrases used.
ReplyDeleteThe next morning as he was getting ready for work a mouse head rolled from his shoe...
A catty equivalent to a horse head?
DeleteGoodness no!
DeleteThough you have your rat traps out, they are too big for a mouse. But I suppose you don't have any mouse problems.
ReplyDeletePeace, joy, etc.
What a rat!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe early bird gets the worm,
ReplyDeleteBut the second rat gets the cheese.
Life is about grasping your opportunities when you can.
DeleteCats now go after songbirds instead. Can you blame them?
ReplyDeleteI don't know - not a lot of attraction in a mouth full of feathers.
DeletePut a bell around their necks. A 500kg church bell, for example.
DeleteThere are so many protest these days it won't be long before rats will be marching on parliament demanding protection...and why not? They've been victims too long.
ReplyDeleteDidn't we elect them already?
Deleteaw the lazy, dreamy cat :)
ReplyDeleteoy... we used to live in an old farm house and had hordes of mice... not fun... and the neighbor's cat hunted them down and put them dead in front our front door... what a surprise in the early morning..... grrmmphfff
ReplyDeleteCats either you love them or hate them, poor mouse, great write.
ReplyDeleteRather a cat than a trap or poison! I did enjoy this rollicking romp this morning.
ReplyDeleteWhen you reach the stage that you bless the smell of dead rat - then there is a rat problem indeed.. Lazy cats indeed :-) but at least you don't have to squirm when they give up I a morning kiss :-)
ReplyDeletebeautifully written using three wednesday words
ReplyDeleteMaps To Peace
Ah something sadistically delicious in this one :)
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of Scottish whiskey factories where they have cats to chase mice and rats. Seems less radical than your method. I hope the cats there never get that lazy.
ReplyDeleteOne rat is too many! Cats do have their uses.
ReplyDelete"...They go forth with a spring-steel kiss."
ReplyDeleteCan one smile and grimace at the same time? I did :-)
Fun piece and well written.
ZQ
Aw--so very witty and wise--Loved this!
ReplyDeleteI love "a spring-steel kiss"---haha. Poor rats. And, also, what a fun idea to start a poem with a line that was actually spoken by your mother. Moms say the strangest things sometimes....this could be a wealth of poetic inspiration!!
ReplyDeleteYou make this witty and amusing, oddly...hee hee....I especially admire these lines:
ReplyDeleteAs one by one their ratty souls are hurled
Into the pits of the afterworld.
Oh, good I wasn't eating something while reading...having only one reaction for mice - a scream! ~ ants easy to get rid off. :)
ReplyDeleteoooh the spring steel kiss made me shudder.
ReplyDeleteTrue that, every bit of it. And what do you do for the blood? Back when I lived with mice, I bought disposable traps and placed them in paper sacks. Easy clean up. And the cats got the ones lower down. When I could, I lifted each cat to beyond the screen door.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! At least the rat is dead. I had a cat who caught a mouse and then let it go . . . inside the house. I suspect because she wasn't done playing yet and didn't want the fun to end. She eventually killed it and left it for me to step on near the couch. I have a dog now.
ReplyDeleteAt least you can find the presents every time. My folks might not see them for weeks....
ReplyDeleteGreat poem.
stand pat, dear cat, steel's got the rat... ~
ReplyDeleteSo funny. Made me giggle. What's amazing is that it is a 'squeamish' plot but you have done such a lovely job in adding that element of humour. One doesn't actually cringe at thinking there is a dead rat in the house. Hahaha.
ReplyDelete