Sunday, December 23, 2012

CDXXVII - As If Apart

Imaginary Garden with Real Toads challenges us to write in the ‘Common Octave’  form.

As If Apart

Watching the world, as if apart,
Remote and on my own —
Can others not see what I see,
The follies that we’ve sown?

We live our life and then depart
Beyond this mortal zone;
Those not of the majority
Must walk this path alone.

© J Cosmo Newbery 2012

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  1. Ah, yes... outside looking in. I do think, however, each of us is simultaneously in good company, yet alone. I know... figure that one out! :-)

  2. I love how wonderfully you executed this form. I also love its message. One does get the feeling of standing back and watching things that seem so obvious...... I know just what you mean.

  3. J Cosmo, I doubt anyone is ever really alone in his/her beliefs. There are always others who feel the same way...but to find those people.....

  4. I agree, for the very fact that if someone is not literally alone, feeling alone is enough to make solitude a reality.

    Also, great use of rhyming and form.

  5. There is a sombre introspection to this poem which shows the other side of festive seasons - a sense of alienation and loneliness which is somehow accentuated over Christmas time.
    I hope you will raise a glass of good red wine, and propose a toast to possibility.

  6. Sombre, and so, so apt. Thank you.

  7. Powerful! The last two lines are chilling.

  8. I intoned this like swallows of the best coffee and then again to the tune of "God rest Thee merry, Gentlemen" saying yes, sighing yes, always, and then thanked God for a place away from the herd to think our thoughts before speaking. Your poem is a gift.

  9. Of course we see the follies. That may even be one of the reasons we choose not to be alone, but to be part of a warm and (we hope) loving community. Certainly, life isn't easy, and understanding man's inhumanity to man might be the very reason we believers realize there is a power greater than ourselves. But hey, who knows?
    I hope you are not as alone as you have expressed here.

  10. So lovely dear J Cosmo.
    xoxoxo ♡

  11. A stark choice.
    Can't live with them, can't live without them.
    Clever and tightly crafted.

  12. I really enjoyed the power of this poem ! very tight and concise, and you actually inspired me to write a poem for this challenge !!

  13. The word I thought at first is somber and I see other have said the same...I enjoy the tone and perspective...I've felt very much of the same, I think. Great write!


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