Sunday, March 21, 2010

CLXXIX - The Search


You will have heard of Edward Lear's poem "The Owl and the Pussycat".

He didn't tell the full story.

The Search for the Owl and the Pussycat

The Owl and the Pussycat went for a sail
In a beautiful pea-green boat.
It started to hail and to blow a gale
So Owl covered Cat with his coat.
His coat,
So Owl covered Cat with his coat.

The storm grew worse, grimmer by the minute;
From side to side, the small boat tossed,
And the bedraggled pair tossed within it.
“Pussy”, said Owl, “I think we're lost.
We're lost,
“I think we are quite lost."

At this the Pussy let out a howl,
A noise that would curdle cream,
“Tell me owl, you intelligent fowl,
What type of ‘lost’ do you mean?
Do you mean,
What type of ‘lost’ do you mean?”

Are you saying we’re just a little bit out,
That we aren’t where previously assumed?
It’s a better answer, without any doubt,
Than the other, which means that we’re doomed.
We're doomed,
Than the other, which means that we’re doomed.

Back at shore, the alarm went out
That the seafaring two were missing.
They launched a craft, with a frog and a calf
And a limpet, fond of French kissing.
French kissing,
And a limpet, fond of French kissing.

The frog adopted the pose on the prow
Of someone surveying the skyline.
The calf faced backwards and stared to row
While the limpet had found some dry wine.
Dry wine,
While the limpet had found some dry wine.

The owl looked shocked, his eyes agog,
As the trio arrived, full throttle:
There was an exhausted calf, a Napoleon Frog,
And a limpet, who was stuck to a bottle.
A bottle,
And a limpet, who was stuck to a bottle.

And so they returned to whence they had come
All bedraggled and looking a mess.
The Pussy decided to go home to her Mum
And left the Owl to deal with the Press.
The press,
And left the Owl to deal with the Press.

The cameras flashed as the Owl told his tale,
And retelling, it never got shorter.
From the back of the boat came a muffled wail
As the limpet threw up in the water
The water,
As the limpet threw up in the water.

© J Cosmo Newbery

Remember to vote for me at
Percy's Silly Poetry Competion
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  1. I was so afraid that the owl or the pussycat might have killed each other with the runcible spoon! What a relief!

    (and what a fun poem! The limpet was an inspired touch)

  2. Can a limpet be as pissed as a newt?

    Can a newt be as pissed as a limpet?

    What would happen if you put them both in a railway carriage?

  3. Lol, another inspiring masterpiece of fun from your vivid imagination.

    You have given me a most amusing picture of a frog surveying the skyline from the prow, a cow rowing with oars and a French kissing limpet who is both sea sick and hung over from too much wine. :) xoxo ♥

  4. Talon: The runcible spoon! I forgot! Next time.

    Lee: Fair question. Fare evasion.

    Dianne: I hope I have not traumatised you. Lee could provide counselling services, I'm sure.

  5. If I hadn't been born French I would understand childhood fairy tales 'a la anglais' so much better, but I do dig the 'painting' version of photo, having said that I don't supppse it's yours and you have the original, 'cause I sure would love to see it :)

  6. Oh - this was delightfully hilarious! And yes, I've voted for you...

  7. No dear J Cosmo, you have not traumatised me, you have amused me in a very pleasant way, that poem brings back many happy memories, so I won't require the counselling services of Lee, though I am sure he is most capable ... well not this time. :)

    It is a lovely painting, is it one of yours? xoxoxo ♥

  8. *clap*clap*clap*

    I do hope these are being preserved for a future book.

  9. Hey, no touting for business! All I did was honours. That doesn't give me the powers needed to deal with someone displaying a wild and irrational fear of drunken limpets!

    Nowadays I only deal with food chemistry, not brain chemistry.

  10. funny. really. i thought it very funny.


  11. Great story with a twist in its tale or tail. best wishes Blu

  12. I really, really, really love that top picture. It is amazing.;)
    I like the poem too.;)

  13. This was hilarious and fun. I loved it! And I'll vote for you. :)

  14. Very nice sequel, but I'm disappointed that you didn't throw a few local marsupials into the mix.

    I am aware, though, that it's tough to come up with a rhyme for "potoroo," "bandicoot," or "Tasmanian Devil."

  15. a wine guzzling french kissing limpit? is that not just another word for a greedy bloodsucking leach? see? s/he is even stuck to a bottle of something red! .. and throwing it all back up. oh, the debauchery...

    i think i'm getting seasick now ..

  16. Photo came from here:

  17. We skipped the light fantastic as the Miller told his tale...

    Nice take on an old favourite.

  18. So drole. Poor limpet. Excellent poem. So true to Carroll's original mood. Loved it.

  19. I am losing my faith in the goodness of Humanity.

    First you with the "get out the vote" campaign and now Sir Larry...

    Still, ne'er shall I Stoop to such tactics.

    With Scornful Aplomb,

    Sir Percival

  20. This is very clever and fun. The bit about Pussy ducking out to her mom's and leaving Owl to deal wuth the press had me laughing out loud. Poor nauseous mollusk. Hot air will bring that on.

  21. Thanks for the link J. it's gorgeous I hope it's ok that Iused it on my screen...


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