that we must incorporate in a writing piece.
The words this week are:
vivacious, vibrant, vacuous, manipulative, vision, single,
sumptuous, slather, spread, short, sassy, violet, master.
Two Blokes Talking
In vino veritas, in cervisia fellatio.
There’s a flat truth in wine but, if you like a good head, drink beer.
The scene: two men enter a quiet pub in a quiet suburb
for a quiet beer and a quiet chat.
Ah, here’s a table.
(To the waitress) Two beers, thanks love.
So, do you really want to hear my thoughts on her?
Well, you used to like her…
(laughs) Like? An awful, stodgy word, like.
But stodge is sort of an appropriate word for her.
Let’s just say that she had her attractions.
So you would have…? (makes crude hand gesture)
Her? No, about as sexually appealing as yesterday’s porridge…
some rumours about that she is a lesbian…(shrugs)...as if that’s important…
the commentaries are pretty vacuous at times...I will grant you though,
when she was in full flight, she could be really vivacious and vibrant…
but turned it on and off at will, which was a bit disconcerting.
Never felt it was deeply felt. Nevermind. But, you know,
she could be really pretty…sort of doll-like pretty…
…what? Inflatable? (smirks)
(laughs) No, no, porcelain…lacked that sassy something that, you know,
makes you want to bite off her buttons…
Not a lot on the other side of the shirt, from what I can see!
(Nodding) Yeah true, but as a friend says anything more than a handful is a waste.
Mind you that friend doesn’t have a lot either so perhaps she’s not a good authority.
Physically, she wasn’t a particularly sumptuous feast, more the single course,
dieter’s special…you know, ricotta on rivita
Oh, tasty! Did you know she had a tattoo?
A rumour I heard said it was a violet...sounds elegant enough.
I thought it was something fiercer—a bulldog perhaps.
Yeah. Maybe. I’d heard something about that too.
The rumour mills run rife with these things...what's it matter in the end?
Never understood why people get tattoos, though.
At least you can change a numberplate that says SPANKY,
or some such, for something else when you grow up.
Not a good look when your position requires judgement.
Yeah…true…didn't you find her a bit manipulative?
She had to be, surely? Ruthless too. Anyway most women are.
You expect it. Besides, she’s Welsh and they are notoriously short tempered
and single minded. It’s to do with the hair colour, I think.
I suppose so. She certainly managed to get the powers that be
to give her open slather to spread her vision of the future…
…of the past, too…
…true…they love this sort of thing, for a short while anyway.
Do you miss her?
(Laughs) Nah. Just an interesting diversion. Her time has passed.
We have a new master now!
Oh, please don’t…
Yes, it’s The Year of the Gloating Lizard and…
Don’t say it!
…budgie smugglers!
Our coat of arms will be replaced by a pair of Lycra Speedos.
(weeps)
Waitress!—Two more beers, thanks love.
Oh...and a bag of nuts.
.
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© J Cosmo Newbery 2013
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