Sunday Whirl (Wordle #125) presents a list of words
that we must incorporate in a writing piece.
The words this week are:
pay, stains, center, bell, dimension, intrigue,
magic, only, used, avenue, answer, change
For the non-Australians: the FJ was a model of car made by
General Motors Holden in Australia in the mid-1950’s.
The Old Holden.
Only a faded shell of a former glory,
She rusts in a weedy paddock.
The headlights, broken:
The aimless stare of the dazed;
The upholstery cracked
Like an old woman’s pouting lips,
The paintwork flat, dull
Faded and chalky.
She is showing the ravages of time
The ravages of being unloved
And unwanted.
A wreck.
Once though, in her heyday, those magical days,
She would have been the centre of attention.
Driven with love through the streets,
Through the avenues of admirers,
A young boy’s answer to awkwardness:
A life changing, status making addition,
A new dimension to the male ego.
I wonder how many women
Succumbed to her intrigue?
Who’s counting? One? None? Nine?
Best not ask, I guess.
Stains on the fabric of time.
The price you pay for being used.
Now, with us salivating like Pavlov’s dogs
To the ringing of the bell of the new,
The Old Holden has a special place
In the paddock of our memories,
We are no longer beholden to her.
There are better models,
And better rides, to be had.
Rust in peace.
.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery 2013
---
Rust in peace is perfect.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking that the wording should be being 'rest in peace', isn't it?
DeleteIt's a pun, Princess. You are quite correct that the original should be 'rest' but cars 'rust' so it is a little joke, a little word exchange. Do you understand?
DeleteI am not understanding this. Is this not being a defacing of the language that is being the property of the inhabitants of the precinct surrounding the post office of Oxford?
DeleteYeah. I'm getting that feeling. Just accept it, OK? Poetic licence.
DeleteI am wanting to be seeing your poetic licence. I am being of the opinion that you are being lacking in poetic registration.
DeleteI believe he has a dog licence. But, curiously, no dog.
DeleteIs it being that you are telling me that he may have the poetic licence and still not be being a poet? This is being most confusing.
DeleteYou could have been writing about me! ;)
ReplyDeleteDon't be silly Lee. You do not fit this profile at all..a lovely wholesome Queensland lass like yourself.I suppose you have been drowning your sorrows over the election result in Bacardi Rum and pumpkin scones:)
DeleteOops ..sorry..I meant to say Bundaberg Rum!
DeleteNo way! I celebrated with a good bottle of red and some very nice cheese from our local cheese factory up here on the mountain! Way to go!
DeleteI left the scones for Sunday morning tea! ;)
I do like Bundy or two, too!
Celebrated? :'''-(
DeleteI most certainly did!
DeleteCocktails on the quarterdeck. "Waiter, bring me some ice!"
Delete"Oh, don't you have anything smaller?"
As one ship-wrecked sailor stranded on an iceberg said to another ship-wrecked sailor, beside him: "Look! We're saved! Here comes the Titanic!"
DeleteIs this not being a goodly thing?
DeleteSounds like a tragic.I think one pays the price for narcissism shallowness the lack of sound values and a suitable reading list in the formative years
ReplyDeleteProbably needed a spanking good lesson or a lesson in good spanking. Or possibly neither.
DeleteMy God..spanking is just so terribly passe and 50s porn!
DeleteStill very much the go at www.kink.com
DeleteOr so I'm told. =:-O
How dreary and ordinary...sounds like a refuge for some uninspired
Deletepencil pusher with a plethora of degrees and tattoos desperate to appear interesting.!
Yes. Now that you mention it, so it does.
DeleteIs 'plethora' the right collective noun for degrees? Just asking.
DeleteI had a Holden Torana G-Pak as a boy. Red with blue stripes. Never had an FJ. I was told that they are very unreliable.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking that you are still being a boy.
DeleteThe advantage of the FJ was that you could buy all your needed rubber accessories at the corner milkbar.
DeleteSuch as...?
DeleteFan-belts, wiperblades, that sort of thing. What were you thinking of?
DeleteCondoms probably!
DeleteNot a bad idea fellahs. You could pick up some really nasty things in the rear of the old FJs.
DeleteI was thinking of tyres.
DeleteSomething with good grip in the wet, perhaps?
DeleteKnowing JCN, he was probably wanting a puncture repair kit.
DeleteFor tyres or condoms?
DeleteGood question. For the inner tube, of course.
DeleteCould you be more specific?
DeleteYou know, the one you use for a nice pneumatic ride.
DeleteSorry. It's still not clear to me.
DeleteBest go and ask your Daddy for a full explanation.
DeleteI am not having a Daddy. What am I to be doing?
DeleteWhy is it being that you are not answering my question? is it not being reasonably put to you?
DeleteI am being a princess and I am being conveyed in the vehicle of my chauffeur's choice. They are being modern vehicles, fitting of a princess.
ReplyDeleteSo, a wheelbarrow then?
DeleteI am thinking that you are being lower that the anal aperture of the sacred cobra, isn't it?
DeleteLOL! You are such an easy target. It's like taking Besun Ladoo from a baby.
Deleteok, I'm kind of nervous to write here after seeing the previous exchanges, but I did like the poem, the wording perfectly conveyed your meaning so... great!
ReplyDeleteNo, come on in Sreejit, the more the merrier! Thank you for visiting and especially for commenting. Glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteSome merrier than others, of course!
DeleteQuiet Sloth! You are scaring my visitors!
DeleteI'm sure Sreejit has more stamina that you give him credit for.
DeleteHe hasn't come back. I rest my case.
DeleteYour case has holes. Could be only the weak of mind and feeble of character visit here.
DeleteI am not liking this comment as I am being a visitor here and I am being a designated Princess.
DeleteI am sure we all have much loved car tales and feel the nostalgia of seeing one's old mate (or his brother) rusting in a paddock. I enjoyed the post enormously but am nervous now in case a certain princess finds me. (I wonder if I say I was born less than 50 miles from Oxford she will ignore me?)
ReplyDeleteI am sure she will be on her best behaviour!
DeleteI am being a princess and I am being of the view that it is perfectly normal for you to be being nervous in the vicinity of my regal presence, isn't it? You may be having no fear, Venerable Eggman, I will be being ignoring your birthplace regardless of it's spacial orientation to the GPO of the city of Oxford. This is being the prerogative of the princess.
DeleteThat, btw, is good behaviour for her.
DeleteGranted.
DeleteThese old cars have certainly been witness to lots of stories during their magical days.
ReplyDeleteGreat closing line J Cosmo Newbery!
Thank you Gabriella! Yes, they certainly have lots of stories to tell: love, hate, deception and betrayal. Transports of delight. And despair.
DeleteOh, please don't encourage him!
DeleteI like this poem...I know I've commented earlier...but it reminds me of the old EH wagon I had back in the late Seventies/early Eighties. It was a great old tank. No rust but we did put it to rest.
ReplyDeleteAs you can see Lee, there is no restriction on multiple comments! I'm told reliably that EHs were much more reliable and trustworthy than FJs.
DeleteYou heard right, Cosmo. The EH were a fabulous model. They were built like tanks...as as heavy as them. I loved ours...I drove it all the time, while my husband, my ex, drove the Passat and then later our new Ford Cortina. The wagon was a great old car. I'll write the story about it one day soon on my blog. I've got a couple of car stories to write...coincidentally....and I just mentioned it to a friend that sometime this week I'll write the story about the Goggomobil Dart we had back in the early Sixties....and now I'd better close this off...before it turns into a story of its own! ;)
DeleteToo late. It is now already a lightly frothy soap operetta with delusions of moving to the main auditorium.
DeleteI say, you can't just condemn all FJs out there!
ReplyDeleteSorry Frank. Nothing personal.
DeleteDoes that apply to all people with the initials FJ?
DeleteFrere Jacques?
DeleteNon, je ne suis pas endormi.
DeleteRust in Peace..hilarious! I may be reading things into this poem but I detect sexual innuendo and the FJ seems to be a metaphor for a sleazy character.
ReplyDeleteNo, no, no, no...It's just a poem about an old and unloved car. Really.
DeleteAnyone seen my chisels?
DeleteFrom Cosmocchio's comment, he 'no's where they are.
DeleteVery droll. Never said you were the sharpest chisel in the toolbox!
DeleteJust because you don't say it, doesn't make it not so!
DeleteIs this being because the chisels are being covered in the rust?
DeleteI liked this line ~ Stains on the fabric of time
ReplyDeleteAnd I will tell you now, they don't wash out.
DeleteIs it not being the universal remedy to be washing with the bicarbonate of soda and the oil of the eucalyptus tree? Is it not being the stain remover?
DeleteNo.
DeleteMy scrubberwallah swore by them.
DeleteSo absolutely adorable and wonderfully, vividly portrayed - I believe there is more riding on this one :)
ReplyDeleteWell, that is an interesting diagnosis, Dr Prilik! What would you prescibe?
DeleteA nice cup of tea and a wee lie down, perhaps?
DeleteProzac.
DeleteWell, I seem to have come late to this party!! Seems I 'rusted in peace' a bit too long this morning!
ReplyDeleteNever too late Mary. The drinks are in the fridge in the laundry, grab a glass and mingle.
DeleteYes, but on the other side of the room from the princess....LOL.
DeleteAnd what is it that you are mean by this remark? I am being the mostly sociable of princesses, known in a widely circle for being a mostly agreeable companion. You will be agreeing with me or I will be having you staked out in the enclosure that is being kept for the elephants.
DeletePlay nicely Princess, play nicely.
DeleteOh no, she spotted me!! Here I thought I would be able to walk under the radar. I'm not feeling very sociable at the moment. LOL.
DeleteShe's hard to control. But she grows on you. Like lichen or moss.
DeleteI am being a princess and you will not be comparing my good personage to a low form of symbiotic lifeforms. I am being at the most top peak of the pyramid of evolved organisms.
DeleteDon't your lot believe in reincarnation? Any chance you will come back as an intestinal worm?
DeleteThis is being a position that you have been filling in a most admirable manner.
DeleteSo vivid... I especially like:
ReplyDeleteThe upholstery cracked
Like an old woman’s pouting lips
LOL! Yes, Laurie, good choice. You nailed my favourite lines in it too!
DeleteI am being back from the mirror that is in my parlour and I am being free of the lines that are being known for making a womanly person's mouth look like the northerly end of a cat that is determinedly heading in a southerly direction. For this I am being thankful.
DeleteGood to know but probably too much information.
DeleteI agree - too much information.
DeleteThe only women like that are either smokers or sour old tarts with no sense of humour. In may experience, anyway.
Deletemay = my
DeleteAll kidding aside, I really did like the poem. Thinking about the poor FJ & wishing someone had taken good care of it so that it would be in good condition today. A bit of care really makes all the difference in the world.....for cars & people too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary. And yes, uncared for FJs are a sad thing to behold.
DeleteNice piece! Perhaps to rust in piece is not a bad way to go?
ReplyDeleteThanks Annell. Wear out or rust out? (does imitation of scales with hands, weighing up options). I guess it depends on what you are doing. 'Use it or lose it' comes to mind too.
DeleteI'm not convinced that you ever had it.
DeleteI am being of the opinion that he will never be getting it, isn't it?
DeleteNot from your regal self, that's for sure!
DeleteI like. Especially the comparison to an old woman's Lips, suggesting the trace of desirability in both sides of the comparison.
ReplyDeleteThe pout of disapproval vs the couch of disarrangement?
DeleteI still have images of the cat's bum...
Deletestains on the fabric of time,
ReplyDeletethe price of being used...ack.
the allusion to the truck as a woman,
there are def men that have a relationship
with their vehicles. while i like old trucks
and even rust, i would say mine is not that deep.
Ack indeed. Thanks Brian.
DeleteI am being of the opinion that depth is not being everything, isn't it.
DeleteThat's not what you told me!
DeleteI am thinking that your are betraying the secrets that are but rights being retained to the boudoir! This is being mostly unbecoming!
DeleteIt sheds a light on the attitude of humans to everything in general. What's shiny new and fresh is in while what serves without glamour is neglected. Sad, though. The car would've been a great vintage piece.
ReplyDeleteYes, so very true. We are fascinated but the new and the novel while abandonning the trusted and true. Why, I wonder? And why is it a one or the other situation? People - funny critters. Some people maintain and others discard capriciously.
DeleteYou must be being worthy of retaining. The peoples will be discarding the things that they are thinking have little values.
DeleteThe upholstery cracked like an old woman's pouting lips.. hehe that image brought a chuckle. I loved this piece, like I love old cars. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThat phrase seems to be the people's choice snippet. Happy with that.
DeleteThe mirror never lies.
DeleteI thought it was the camera that never lied?
DeleteVery nice indeed Cosmo - fully realised. I particularly liked:
ReplyDeleteA young boy’s answer to awkwardness
and 'Stains on the fabric of time'
A real treat to read.. Thank you - With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com
Thank you SHP, much appreciated. Yes, indeed, the immature young boys can be inordinately proud of their FJs. Until, of course, the thing stops going and pedestrians laugh and point the cruel finger of scorn at them! That can be awkward too.
DeleteThis brought back a vivid memory of my father's old Ford pick-up. Oh, yes, these vehicles store memories and keep secrets. :)
ReplyDeleteOh my dear, what sort of memories? Any stains of note?
DeleteDidn't you read - it KEEPS the secrets. Calm down.
DeletePosts and comments are interesting to read ~
ReplyDeleteI will chime in and say the ending is perfect ~
"Interesting". Second only to "nice". Hmmph. Nevermind.
DeleteThank you, the ending didn't come until the end (purely a coincidence). Sometimes when I write I know the ending first; not this time. I was ambushed.
ReplyDeleteRust in peace.....tells us all
Sure does. Entropy rules in the end.
DeleteI am being a Princess and I am not of the inclination to be ruled by the personage you mention. From which empire comes the ruler Entropy? Is he being a Maharajah? Is he being already of teh wedded status? I am being curious.
DeleteSorry PTM, too difficult to explain. Try Googling it.
DeleteI am being a princess and I am not being reduced to a common acronym!
Delete"Rust in peace" is perfect! Hey, I'm driving a car that looks like that - two doors cant be opened, there is more rust than paint and when someone backed into me the other month, I just said "no worries" - it already had so many dents, what was a caved in door? Hee hee. True story.
ReplyDeleteA dented car, FJ or otherwise, is no problem - as long as you can get into it and out again when you need to.
DeleteWould a shoe horn help? Perhaps in and out the window?
DeleteK-Y Jelly?
DeleteWhat is being the K and the Y in the aforementioned gelatinous material?
DeleteKinda Yucky.
DeleteAren't these things supposed to be self-lubricating?
DeleteOils ain't oils, Sol. Uh, Sancho.
DeleteI thought K-Y Jelly was carboxymethylcellulose?
DeleteAnd you do WHAT with it?
DeleteRusted car but your post is so new!!!
ReplyDeletereading the menu in the clouds outside
Thank you - it seems a long time since I wrote it though! Was it only the day before yesterday?
DeleteI am being of the same mind also.
DeleteMe too. Well, not your mind Princess, of course, as I am a mere commoner.
DeleteI am being mostly pleased that you are accepting your lowly position on the trapezoid of beings that are considered to be living.
DeleteThis reminds me of a car I owned and that my son lusted after, even telling his friends it was really his. That was almost thirty years ago and I don't think he will ever forgive me for selling it and buying a computer. Good one, with some hidden meaning as well. Also like the pouting lips and your final lines.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2013/09/08/bits-and-pieces/
1. Lusted after as opposed to lusted in. I'll think aboout that for a while.
Delete2. Sold a car for a computer? The FJ above wouldn't raise enough for a free calculator.
FJ's were the top of the market once.
DeleteStill are. It just depends what you think you are buying.
DeleteThe poem was great, but the comments? Priceless. I am being a commoner in awe of the loquacious princess and bearing wishes to thank her for making my morning.
ReplyDeleteLook out Patti, be careful what you wish for! And thank you for the comments.
DeleteI am liking the lady who is called Pattiken. I am being in need of a new maid to be working in my scullery regions; is it being teh case that she is being available?
DeleteNo.
DeleteI don't think anyone would be willing to clean the Princess's scullery region.
DeleteYou are being most personally insulting to my regal personage and I will be delegating a minor floggerwallah to be giving you a thrashing that is being richly deserved.
DeleteVery cool personification. Wish we didn't so easily discard the old.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's no fun being rejected.
DeleteOh pleeeese! Maestro! Cue theviolins!
DeleteEnough of the sarcasm, small rotund vassal!
DeleteHehehehe! Gotcha!
Delete:)
ReplyDelete:-/
Delete:-P
Delete:-?
DeleteYou certainly worked magic with the words, J Cosmo. I only managed 6 of them this week.
ReplyDeletePamela
Oh. I didn't realise that I could not use all the words. Thought it was an all or nothing proposition. There you go.
DeleteLove your images and the ending is perfect!
ReplyDeleteThank you Daphne, always nice when someone appreciates your efforts. Can you believe, there are those out there who don't. Shocking, no?
DeleteI can be believing such things.
DeleteBeautiful and sad atmosphere created...lovely
ReplyDeleteNostalgic and telling! Well told tale, J Cosmo!
ReplyDeleteThere are better models,
ReplyDeleteAnd better rides, to be had.
Rust in peace
A poignant tribute to once so revered but now discarded. A familiar story line for most items useful in their grander days and then allowed to 'rust in peace' Great write Cosmo!
Hank
Revered and then discarded - I guess we call all relate to that in some what Hank. Thanks for your comments.
DeleteI am believing the state of decardance bit I am not believing the curious idea of reverement. This is being a thought that is being foreign to my mind.
DeleteI second that emotion.
DeleteHands down the best comment section for a poem I've yet seen. I guess I should go back and read the post.
ReplyDeletetick tock.
Hey! That's good! Smooth incorporation of all the terms.
It's has developed a life of its own!
DeleteThe poem was more duty to the word list, the comments...well... :-)
Nice change to see the comments longer than your poems, eh?
DeleteI love this! The ending was clever, and the poem had rich imagery.
ReplyDeleteYou can't beat an old decaying FJ for bringing out the latent poet in a someone.
DeleteSo says the man who has written about plug-holes, paperclips and buttons.
DeleteLove it!
ReplyDeleteGood! My day has not been wasted then! :-)
DeleteYour nights, however, are a completely different story.
DeleteOne would never believe you had to comply to a word list! Well done.
ReplyDeleteOften there is one word that I just can't find a good home for at first. This week it was 'bell'.
DeleteWoof!
DeleteOh, Cos, you've done it again. My heart is with you... mine was a Volvo 62 sedan, already twice around the odometer when I got her... Rust in peace, now that just makes me smile. There's something about our cars... I name all mine.
ReplyDeleteThis elegy is perfect. Amy
Thanks Amy. Elegy: "a poem of serious reflection, typically a lament for the dead.". So very fitting for this work. Sums it it more than you can possibly imagine.
DeleteYou never know. I'm willing to bet Amy has a better imagination than you.
DeleteHave you finished yet?
ReplyDeleteFrankly, yes.
Delete