Thursday, March 19, 2009

CXXXXII - All that glistens.

There has been a news story about a Japanese town with the unlikely name of Suwa,
extracting $250,000 worth of gold from their...well...sewer.

It seemed to need a poem:

All that glistens.

A town in Japan has come up trumps
By extracting pay dirt from its sumps
They chemically skewer
The gold in their sewers
But are careful to avoid all the lumps,
The lumps,
But are careful to avoid all the lumps,

In these crappy times, this town’s in luck
Now the city is making a pretty buck
With the melt down
From the bowels of the town
There’s plenty of money in muck,
In muck,
There’s plenty of money in muck,

A lover will buy his darling a gem
Or a dozen roses, red and long stem
But when your beau brings
Some golden ear-rings
You’ll wonder from where he got them,
Got them,
You’ll wonder from where he got them.

And if the stuff that exits from underneath
May one day return as the gold in your teeth
It’s time to tell
Your kids to brush well
Or they’ll be shedding tears of grief,
Of grief,
They’ll be shedding tears of grief.

It’s not a thought I’d advise you to hold
But fortune obviously favours the bowled,
So when having the urge
To sit down and purge
Remember, the sewers are paved with gold,
With gold,
The sewers are paved with gold.

© J Cosmo Newbery
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  1. OK, my friend, here's the deal...

    I recently had the contents of the sewer rain down on my basement like a waterfall. I can tell you firsthand there was ZERO gold in that muck. ZERO.

  2. And they're buying a Stairway.. to Heaven?

  3. On the pillow....that's quite a trinket.
    The poem looks like a song, perhaps you could sing it?
    I wasn't really going for the rhyme.
    But dang, now it just comes all the time.
    I should pile all my limericks on a big boat and sink it!

    (but, I really think the poop on the pillow is cool!
    J Cosmo Newbery, you are such a tool!)

  4. even King Midas had to go, eventually, eh?
    and to keep from being naughty, that's all I should say.
    (and if it was, I'de be quite surprised.
    There's usually more, some have already surmised)
    But, I was wondering if you'de send King Midas over my way?

    (you know...instead of Japan?)

  5. Only you can write poetry involving sewer muck and have it be brilliant!

  6. Hahaha, that's great.

    Fortune favors the bowled... ha!

  7. You'd think they could use the lumps too, they'd make great ornaments.

  8. The sewers are paved with gold... pure genius!

  9. I don't think there's any gold in my muck:)

  10. Does this mean your poetry is now scraping the bottom of the barrel?

  11. gross- swereage freaks me out- so did that movie,, KENNY- yuck

  12. Fabulous poem... Some people ingest gold leaf. Why? Beats me. Maybe the shiny-pooped folks of Suwa (this can't be a real story) make this a regular practice?


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