Wednesday, July 25, 2012

CCCXLIV - Annoyances

Mama's Losin' It had the prompt 'List 10 things that make you angry'.
Well, I don't get angry so much, I get annoyed though.  Here a short list.
Some readers may notice similarities to a a song by Koko in The Mikado.
Some other readers may notice that Mama had a similar prompt four years ago
and marvel at the similarities in my approach then and now. 


I’ve been asked to clearly state those things that can annoy:
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of nasty little things whose departure I’d enjoy
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There’s the people who sanitize everything in sight
And those who say you’re sexist when in fact you’re just polite
All people who say they can’t but they never even try
All people who say ‘me’ when they really should say ‘I”
And homeopaths, astrologers and Chinese herbalists
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!


He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.


There’s the disappointing President who uses flying drones
To create new terrorists – I’ve got him on the list.
And the marketer who rings me, at home upon my phone,
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then there’s idiots who give a mean, sarcastic poke
And, if you should complain, say you cannot take a joke,
And the climate change deniers who stubbornly maintain
We can go on polluting endlessly and never feel the pain
And those religious aberrations, the fundamentalists
I don't think they’d be missed — I'm sure they’d not be missed!


He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.


And that pesky little character of jingoistic hype,
The fervid nationalist – I’ve got him on the list!
And all journalists and anchormen and any of their type
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed.
And the people who talk over me, in a patronising way,
But, in the end, apparently have nothing much to say,
All footballers, without a neck, in skin tight Lycra shorts
And all those wacky folk who believe the UFO reports
And that darling of the media, the Olympic medalist,
I don't think they’d be missed — I'm sure they’d not be missed!


You may put 'em on the list — you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed!

© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery
With thanks to Gilbert & Sullivan.

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  1. I knew I had done a poem based on 'He's got a little list' some time ago and made a point of not looking at it until I had posted this one. It wasn't until I did look that I saw that the prompt was from Mama's Losin' It then too. (shrug)

  2. Good list. I have many of the same annoyances. I'm always worried to start a list though because it conceivably could be never ending.

  3. Oh so many of them would be on my list too.
    The Mikado is my favourite Gilbert and Sullivan.
    I would have to add the people who sit in feed off lanes behind phantom cars, so that when the arrow turns green only two real cars and two phantoms have time to get around the corner. Not only that but they go at walking pace. I know they'd not be missed. They'd. None. Of. Them. Be. Missed!

  4. Wonderful ryhming and a good list dear J Cosmo, I have many of the same annoyances and a few more.
    xoxoxo ♡

  5. all in all, I'd say you are rather even-keeled !!


  6. You have really put up a nice and honest list !!!

  7. What a great way to make your list. I can't stand when people talk over me, especially if they're patronizing! UGH!

    Stopped by from Mama Kat's

  8. So love the bouncy rhythm punching out the "bugs" of life! (Who needs fly spray! This is far more fun!) A delightful journey through pet peeves!

  9. Oh, I could add a few to this too
    I was almost singing to this.
    Maybe I ought to write a list too :)

  10. I love the rhythm and the approach here. Kind of like a good blues song that needs hearing. Nicely done!

  11. I've been singing this in my head over breakfast!
    Love it to bits.
    Will be singing it all day long and adding to it.

    Let's form a Grumpy Poets society. Somehow dislikes inspire words more readily than likes.

  12. Gave me a chuckle to read this. I can definitely relate to feeling annoyed by some of these on your list. Thanks!

  13. I so look forward to reading your work. I loved your list and I loved the way you said it. I've tried writing about the same points in different ways but have never been able to pull it off. This is splendid. Bravo!

  14. Now that was entertaining!

  15. Great writing! It was catchy, truthful, and fun.

  16. AnonymousJuly 30, 2012

    you caught quite a few items off my list as well, but mine was never as musical as this - i smiled & sang it all the way through. well done!

  17. AnonymousJuly 31, 2012

    Nice ebb and flow of this piece....great points of the things not missed!!

  18. A fun list, indeed, but I'll keep the astrologers in mine, thanks, for they help us learn more about ourselves if we study their art carefully. :)

  19. ah i def know the annoyance of a few these...haha...delightfully musical...and humorous in an honest way...smiles.

  20. I think you've nailed a lot of my pet peeves, too. Be kind to those of us who sanitize things...some, like me, may be immunosupressed because of medications. :0) The drones have got to go--and the talking heads.

  21. AnonymousJuly 27, 2013

    I, too, had thought of doing an annoyances list-- but at what point does a poem become an epic-7 volume-novel? I digress, and went with something with less annoyance :) peace, happy weekend

  22. Devils and angels
    play roles
    them miss

  23. Quite cleverly penned, you hit a few of my "annoyances" for sure!


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