Sunday, July 08, 2012

CCCXXVII - C is for ?

In the comment section, a few posts back, Red Dirt Girl asked
"Is there ANY subject you won't or can't write a poem about?"
In response to such questions from others in the past
I have written about plug-holes and paperclips. 

But, never one to duck a challenge, I looked around for something a bit different.

The previous week I had been listening to a podcast on euphemisms and the observation
that the Victorians used 'The Monosyllable" as a euphemism
for that other over-used euphemism, cunt, amused me.
Here is the inevitable outcome:

C is for…?
The English language has oodles of words:
From the Greek, Latin, French, and others, inter alia.
The amazing thing is that several hundred of them
Relate solely to the female genitalia.

Some of them are very twee, verging on the silly.
While others are just cold and hard and blunt.
In the States, some show nomadic traits:
Fanny is the rear while, elsewhere, it is still the front.

The Victorians referred to ‘the monosyllable’
For what is now known as the C-word.
So, now we have a euphemism for a euphemism,
But no-one has any doubts of what is so inferred.

I find it odd that the vagina is so well served,
With euphemistic and needless folderol,
While other, much more useful words,
As far as I can tell, cannot be found at all.

I have, for example, sat late into the night,
Thumbing the Oxford Dictionary (Shorter),
After a word for the ring left on a table
By the wet bottom of a glass of water.

© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery

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  1. Perhaps you could coin such a word!

  2. Yes, possibly a charlin, derived from the Latin placere transire me a chartam linteo, "Please pass me a paper towel".

  3. I think there might be as many for the male genitalia too. I can think of quite a few.
    There you go! The first two lines of the next one :)

  4. Since when did you drink water?

  5. @Anoymous - LOVE those cupcakes!!

    As for the C word ... where I was raised, culturally, it is considered to be quite a pejorative term. However, after visiting my British lover and traveling to various English towns with streets named Grope Cunt Lane, and listening to the history of such places - I found it to be both amusing and titillating! It quite changed my viewpoint on the subject altogether.


  6. Now that would be an interesting address to have!

  7. Sue J: Female outnumber the male many times over. A very brief internet search came up with in excess of 500. Few complimentary either. Tempted to do a Gilbert & Sullivan 'patter song' with them. Maybe.

  8. Anonymous: Indeed. The cakes look nice but I would feel very self-conscious eating one.

  9. Yes, "charlin" is good! LOL. A very respectable "C" word!

    (Loved your reply at my site. "Anymore is malice" indeed. Thank you.)

  10. Haha...very witty write and, very clever too.
    Perhaps you ought to try Roget's Thesaurus...LOL

  11. Ha - I love this. Witty and very entertaining.

  12. An interesting write ~ I am still thinking of that word for the ring left on bottom of the glass ~

  13. A witty take Cosmos! A male is never far from what the woman has. A great thought!


  14. "C" is for Cookie, that's good enough for me,
    "C" is for cookie, that's good enough for me,
    "C" is for cookie, that's good enough for me,
    Oh! cookie, cookie, cookie starts with "C"!

    ~ Cookie Monster.

    (Sorry; I realize that's monstrous.)

  15. Witty and well written!

    Is the ring not known as what it is - a watermark?

    Anna :o]

  16. Cosmo, this was clever, fun, and so timely, what with "vagina" not being uttered in the US Congress without the offender being censured!

    I'm not a fan of the word, only because it is so often used as a pejorative, but my daughter says her generation is liberating it, just as they are the word "queer." Ah, to be young again...

    I, too, read the dictionary for fun and for research. Love that about you, Cos. Peace, Amy


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