Saturday, July 21, 2012

CCCXXXVI - Ode to an In-flight Scone.

I went to Sydney yesterday, on business.
The in-flight snack left something to be desired.

Ode to an In-flight Scone

Scones are warm, scones are fluffy,
Scones are served with jams and creams.
Scones are fresh and sweet delights,
Like the lover of your dreams.

The in-flight snack was none of this,
In plastic tray and cellophane.
Dispensed like food-aid to the poor
Who sat in rows upon the plane.

An off-white, cold, amorphous block
That crumbled as you spread the jam,
This thing was no more a scone
Than a cheap hamburger is a ham.

The cream was frozen, for some reason,
And also crumbled as I spread it.
If this is the future of inflight fare,
You have good reason now to dread it.

Scones are supposed to be hot and steamy,
And remind us of some sensuous creature.
The little briquette upon my flight
Reminded me of my grade five teacher.

© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery

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  1. My kind of poem. Written about something to get your teeth into - metaphorically speaking. I enjoyed this short poem and remembered the times when I have been in a similar position, been there, done that, left it in the tray, LOL

  2. Cream tea! The first paragraph had me salivating! Shame about the disappointment later on... Brilliantly poemed, as ever, hx

  3. A thoroughly unpleasant experience, but so well recorded. My heart goes out to you in your remembrance of that culinary insult.

    I'll think of you, and your misadventure, the next time I bake scones. And eat them.

  4. Love yummy scones with cream and jam - love your words too. Sad about the scone not being up to par.

    Anna :o]

  5. Amazing how you can make something as simple as a scone so evocative :)

  6. It's a knack. I have no idea how I do it so I suspect I must credit it to my muse.

  7. I was looking forward to a poem about a fluffy, delicious scone, your poem is funny, sorry your scone was such a disappontment. :(
    xoxoxo ♡

  8. That's OK Dianne, I wont hold you personally responsible!

  9. AnonymousJuly 22, 2012

    Sometimes you just have to vent! food aid to the poor - good one

  10. "This thing was no more a scone
    Than a cheap hamburger is a ham."

    Great analogy! Sadly your little scone sounds very similar to the poor things I attempt to make. Hey! Maybe I can get a job cooking for the airline! LOL

  11. As always you amuse your audience as you deliver much needed critique on the society we have come to accept. I imagine a wonderful in-flight food fight as every passenger revolts against being served such below standard food.

  12. I think airlines should stick to food that they can make well. Obviously scones are not it! Hopefully there was a wine accompaniment which was able to help wash it down! Smiles.

  13. This one left a smile on my face. :)

  14. AnonymousJuly 22, 2012

    Airline food time put a violet crumble in your pocket and forego the cardboard delectables.
    Sydney jonquil lover
    This is not a scone type of city..but you know that already!

  15. Ha..ha...this is the reality of increasing fare rates ~ I love scones, warm and piping on the mouth ~

  16. I really enjoy your writing. I liked the image of a good scone being like the lover of your dreams. I wouldn't think reading about a bad scone would be so delightful.

  17. An amusing poem, leaving me with a smile... and a laugh at your last line. :)

  18. Ooo..I used to love warm scones with butter, jam and a dollop of cream. Now you've gone and made me want one! LOL
    Did you hear about the sewing needles they found in some sandwiches aboard a flight recently. It was sabotage, for some reason. So many had been 'doctored' how nasty. Your in-flight snack sounds dreadful.
    Made for a great poem though :)

  19. This was so much fun to read......."than a cheap hamburger is a ham!" So clever! Also "dispensed like food-aid to the poor."

  20. Funny, and true. I expect so little on a flight that the good food I got once in a free bump up to first class blew my mind. I loved the absurdity of this: "This thing was no more a scone
    Than a cheap hamburger is a ham." and also the absurdity of of expecting to find sensuality wrapped in plastic.

  21. Airline food usually leaves a lot to be desired.....
    Sadly your serving of scones seems to have been far removed from that of the delicate English Afternoon tea, including freshly baked scones, with cream and jam....


  22. I can, unfortunately, attest to knowing exactly what kind of "scone" you are referring to! The sad thing is that by the time one gets anything to eat on a flight, one is so hungry that the tray table looks appetizing!


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