Friday, July 20, 2012

Repost - The Carnival

Poets United has the prompt 'Carnival'.
Here's one I prepared earlier:

The Carnival


The air is thick with smells and squeals
Of food and kids and Ferris wheels
There are spruikers, dodgems, chips and stalls
Ghost trains, drinks and mirrored halls.
Gypsies who can read your mind
And snake oil vendors, of the finest kind.
From the outside, you can sense excitement
Oozing from every stall and bright tent.

Come in, come in, you wont regret it!
Life will depress you, if you let it,
Look! Over there, performing fleas!

Oh Daddy, Daddy, can we please?

Escape from life, leave the gloom behind?
Come kids, let’s go see what we can find!
But we must be away by ten, at latest.

Yea for Daddy! You are the greatest!

Good Sir, let me read your palms

Your end is written in the Psalms!

Get some donuts while they’re hot!
Or perhaps a beer would hit the spot?

A beer and two donuts, the hot jam ones.
And a sausage in one of those long buns.
Actually, I think I’ll have a second beer.

Balloons, balloons, get your balloons here!
Here kids, let me twist it into a hat
Or would you prefer a dog or a cat?

Hello, big boy, how can I please you?
Come to my tent and let me squeeze you!
Don’t worry, Bruno, here, will mind the brats!

No, thanks. Hey kids, look! Dancing rats!

Oh yuck! That’s vile. How truly gross.
Dad! Dad! Don’t get so close!
Oh, Dad! Can we go on that spinning ride?

Will you keep your food inside?
I well remember the last time, honey;
Dinner was a waste of money.

Hey, show your kids you are a man!
Make the bell ring—if you can!

Go Dad go! Give it a good whack, not a token!
Oh—never mind, it’s probably broken.

Oh look, it’s late, the time has flown,
One last ride then we must head home.
Or would you like to try out the guns?

It’s not fair, we are having fun!
We want to stay until we win a hat.

I knew they were going to tell you that.
Children are the great negotiators!

Repent now, prepare to meet your maker!

Come kids, you didn’t listen to what I said,
It’s time I got you home to bed.


The last folk leave, the night is late,
The spruiker shuts and locks the gate
The stoves are cold, they’ve cut the lights
The music’s gone and the place is quiet
The make-up’s off, the splendor shed
A drink is opened, a paper’s read.
In the caravans around the site
Ordinary people embrace the night.

© 2012   J Cosmo Newbery
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  1. Wonderful! Sounds more like a fun fair ground... ever buzzing place! Splendidly written - though you must know that! : ) x

  2. Gosh that was a treat and, so real of what happens too. I was pretty dizzy with how busy it all was ;)
    Lovely read J Cosmo

  3. Amazing vision and story, J.C.

  4. I loved all of the elements, the different voices all trying to gain our attention! The was magical :D

  5. I love this, J Cosmo. Your poem really wove a fine tale, plus I learned a new word - 'spruiker.' I don't know which I would be excited about...performing fleas or dancint rats!

  6. I enjoyed this....could see the whole thing. You took me there.

  7. Very creative presentation ...I like the different voices and perspective, yet as a whole, weaves a story ~

  8. Love the way you did this with the prolog and epilog and all the slices of life in between. Really gave the feel of a carnival. I had not heard of a spruiker before. thanks for sharing this.

  9. AnonymousJuly 20, 2012

    Excellent! In movies, Carnival workers are always portrayed as odd or different. Here...ordinary people embrace the night!

  10. AnonymousJuly 20, 2012

    your rhymes kept with the tone and persistence of the narrative. liked the voices

  11. An absolutely superb full account of a most wonderful experience. Your words and the rhythm made the experience very vivid :)


  12. AnonymousJuly 21, 2012

    haha...pleased me this!

  13. AnonymousJuly 21, 2012

    haha...pleased me this!

  14. Does anybody ever leave you a comment saying they don't like your poetry?

    I DO like your poetry, but sometimes the churlish child in me wants to shake up the comments section a bit and tell you it's AWFUL ....

    right. I'm actually a 4 year old living inside a 48 year old body ...


  15. If I was to offer you a candy...

  16. Wow, the excitement is intense! A wonderful time , enjoyed by all. Thanks for the memories.

  17. Absolute agree with every preceding comment that included the word SUPERB - can't get enough of it - perfect as the poem it is - could be the beginning of a novel - the opening scene of a film - a series - a concerto - pure artistic pleasure - you have captured with language the vision of the featured artist - BRAVO

  18. What a wonderful scene you set and what playful read! Perfect ending as well bringing it back to the reality of the carnies. Great poem!

  19. J Cosmo…I love your poem. Congratulations on being one of the final six selected by Nain Rouge in the dVerse contest, I was stunned myself to be chosen and thanks to Gayle at Bodhirose who won the ‘Editors Choice’ I’ve been peeking into the blogs of others to see who else has their poem showing on their blogs ~ I was delighted to find yours ~ Polly


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