As a suitable end to Easter, I present you with a poemwritten by my ancestor J Cosmos Newberrium,
sent on a post-rock from Rome, circa 100AD.
For your convenience, I also provide a translation.
Odoratus piscari.
Extendere tu toga! Iter fibula!
Tractus alteruter. Campus tintinnabula.
Narrare catena? Vestum detrahere?
Bellus vomitorium! Quo vadere?
Aspicere! Magnus harena!
Populus! Sonitus! Musicena!
Aspicere! Caesar! Ave Emperator!
Pollex gravis, Punctun declivator.
Oi! Quo vadis custodia?
Et porta? Cur claudere? Quo sedia?
Ave omnes! Adventare, solum commodus.
Spectare! Longinguus porta apertus.
Bellus feles! Pulcher feles!
Bellus dentes! Haliotoses.
◊◊◊
Something smells fishy.
Straighten your toga, we’re going to a show!
Pull the other one, it plays Jingle Bells.
Why are you taking off my leg irons?
Nice tunnel, where will it take us?
Oh look, a large arena! People! Noise! Music!
Oh look! The emperor! Hi Guv!
His thumb seems heavy, it is hanging down.
Hey! Where have the guards gone?
And the gate? Why is it closed. Where are our seats?
Hi everyone! Come on down, the sand’s fine!
Hey look! The far gate has opened.
Nice kitty. Pretty kitty.
Lovely teeth. Nasty breath.
---
© J Cosmo Newbery
---
I should point out that JCNium was not a skilled scholar and, like most people of his time, poorly skilled in Oxfordium Latin grammar. Skilled Latin scholars may acknowledge this fact but beyond that, tough.
ReplyDeleteIf your postcard from Sydney meant that you were in Sydney, does this mean you are in Rome?
ReplyDeletemy ancestor reacted with
ReplyDeleteRUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
however, this is just hearsay since he/she was quite
the illiterate barbarian. no post rock survives.
Oh my goodness, the cost of postage back then!
ReplyDeleteI mean, sending mosaics! Heavy and costly to send.
Oh what the heck, we'll have another bottle opened,
A congratulatory, because you see, mosaics never bend.
lol! I can see where you get your poetic skill, J Cosmos. I wonder what it was really like to have your words carved in stone?
ReplyDeleteThis is getting way too intellectual for me. Who knew ancient Romans wrote such a lot of blather on their rock cards?
ReplyDeleteLee: No, I am roaming Sydney.
ReplyDeleteFoam: Excellent advice. The post-rocks do not explain the fate of JCNium.
Boneman: No, mosaics don't bend; it's the receiver that's warped.
Talon: Spelling mistakes were a pain. Liquid paper didn't help in those days.
Molly: What's Latin for "having a wonderful time, wish yov were here?"
Never realized that ancient Romans knew the tune Jingle Bells...
ReplyDeleteI'm I'm I'm French and yet understood still you missed one point in the translation, but an easily understood mistake 'jUngle Bells' if you must knkow...
ReplyDeleteYou are FANTABULOUS, it's becoming clear to me that you're a match for Sir Silley, I beg of you, do not tell on me!
Quidquid latine dictum sit altum viditur ;)
ReplyDeleteCute poem J Cosmo, I enjoyed your 'Latin'.
ReplyDeleteI see you have removed my comment on the previous post or it is not showing up ... too much? Sorry!
I hope you are enjoying your visit to Sydney, there are some great things to see. xoxo ♥
Dianne: Not guilty. I only remove spam. I have checked my email and found the notification of your post and have re-posted it on your behalf. I have no idea why it didn't do it automatically.
ReplyDeleteMr. Newberry .. your command of the classics is astounding ..
ReplyDeleteTakes me right back to my halcyon days perusing Cicero's Pro Lege ...
Sigh.
Thanks dear J Cosmo, I thought I may have offended you and would never wish to do that. xoxo ♡
ReplyDeleteYou never respond to my comment, I deplore this situation, is it that I voted for Percy?
ReplyDeleteLorraine: Of course I aren't angry at you because you stumbled at one of life's great decision points and voted for Sir Percy. Everyone makes mistakes.
ReplyDeleteSometimes Sophia: I need all the respectability I can get.
Riseoutofme: You may swoon if you wish. Garçon! A pillow for the lady!
Lorraine: See above.
must be nice getting those leg irons off
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